Sorry that your sister has cancer. This must be a very stressful time for you both.
My response to your message means it will get bumped back to the top of the Cancer Chat home page.
This will help our members spot it as I feel sure there are others in a similar position to you who will come and say hello when they see you have posted.
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am very sorry to learn that your sister has melanoma.
When someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer it’s natural to experience many different emotions. Having cancer is often described as a life changing experience not just for the person with cancer but also for the people close to them.
There is no right or wrong way to support your sister, as to some extent this will depend on what she will allow you to do. Sometimes the best way to help is just by being there, listening and offering a shoulder to cry on. It sometimes helps in this situation to ask people directly what you can do to help.
Supporting someone through the cancer treatment process can be emotionally and physically draining. Living with uncertainty about what the future might hold for someone close to you can often lead to feelings of upset and anxiety. The cancer charity Macmillan has information on their website about supporting someone with cancer that you may find helpful. This also includes information on how to look after yourself.
Many people contact us and come to the forum because they feel as you do, and I think that this reflects how helpless we can all feel when people close to us have cancer. Most people find a way of managing these feelings but It may be some time before you feel better able to do this. Also what helps one person may not help another.
Some people find talking to a close friend or relative helpful. Many people try to put on a brave face, as they do not want to upset the people that they are close to. Your friends may find it difficult if you talk frankly and may not know what to say or do, but if you can talk about your feelings this may help.
Sometimes it is easier to talk with professionals as you would not need to hold back with people that they do not know. Counselling can be helpful for some people who have to deal with a cancer diagnosis in the family. It allows people to talk things through and work out ways that may help them cope. Unfortunately you may not be able to access a counsellor very quickly, unless you pay privately, as there is often a waiting list to see one on the NHS. You could ask your GP about this, but not every GP’s surgery offers counselling services. You can read more about counselling here.
Although the nurse team here at Cancer Research UK are not professional counsellors, you and your family are welcome to telephone us on our freephone number (0808 800 4040 Monday to Friday) if you think that it might help.
Macmillan Cancer Support also offer a listening ear and their freephone number is 0808 808 0000.
I hope that some of this information is helpful and that you and the family get the help and support that you need.
