Hi Loopy Loo,

Seeing someone we love slowly fading away is one of the hardest thing we will ever have to face. I know this from when my mother was in a similar situation to your dad. I felt guilty as there was very little I could do to help apart from being there as much as possible which was not easy as I was working at the time.

All you can do is to try and make as many memories as possible and to tell him that you love him which I am sure he knows.

You ask how will you cope? It's hard to describe but I think we all feel like that but somehow we do and often we surprise ourselves by finding a inner strenght we didnt know we posessed.

No one on here will feel sorry for you but will feel deep sympathy and understanding as so many on here have faced the same or similar situation. One lovely lady on this forum named Hope lost both her father and mother in a space of a few months. How I hate cancer as it takes so many wonderful people from us and leaves so many families devastated.

Please keep in touch so that we can try and help support you, Best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Hi Loopy Loo,

You are coping, you are going through a lot and you are there for your father. I know it's easier said than done but don't feel guilty about whether you should see him or whether he needs rest because guilt does work. Who is to say how much time you must spend with him, you are considering what's best for him and if it means giving him some time to rest then you shouldn't feel guilty for giving him time to recharge his batteries so to speak.

You mentioned that you feel scared about losing him like you're other family. He is still here, it hasn't happened, cross that bridge when it comes to it. Trust me I've been in the same position as you, we can't predict what will happen so taking every day as it comes does help.

You have made the first step by sharing your thoughts and feelings on here and you are vert brave and stong to do so.

I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me too, however it's human nature to feel like that. It may feel like you're slowly breaking and cracking but you aren't, you're body is processing what's going on.

Take Care x

Loopy Loo

Sorry for delayed response but internet has been affected by phone line being up the creek.  I lost my Dad to cancer almost 7 years ago now and we all ask ourselves did we do enough.  The answer is always we did as much as we could, when we could and your Dad is so very lucky to have a caring and loving daughter.  Please do not doubt yourself. You are making wonderful memories for you and the family to hold in your heart.  This is never an easy journey and none of us know where the strength comes from to cope but somehow we do.  As much as you are doing for your Dad, please look after yourself too.  I recognise the sleepless nights (still getting them) and the inner fear that you carry day to day but drawer on the support of your loved ones and friends and with little steps you will manage.  Come to the forum (its  supported me for over 2 yrs now} when you need space to offload - we are a very understanding bunch.  Take care  Jules54

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Hi Loopy Loo, my dad passed away on Monday from oesophageal Cancer. He was diagnosed in Sep 2014 after my baby shower. We struggled to have children and everyone was so excited. I had the same problem. Panic attacks and Cancer on my brain 24/7. I saw him every spare second of everyday. The baby is 16 months old and my dad loved him so much. I am pretty broken and even thought that life has me exchanging one for the other. Trying to manage children and sickness can be so hard. He had the tumour removed when the baby was 16 weeks old. I took him to the hospital to give him something to fight for. I tried everything from special tea too cod liver oil and most importantly, never gave up hope. There really isn't anymore you can do for him. The panic attacks and fear are awful. It's 2016 and I'm still in 2014. You are stronger than you think and I promise you, you will surprise yourself. Take one day at a time. Live for that day, with hope. Try not think about tomorrow xxx

Thank you all for posting and sharing your stories.  My father was diagnosed at January 2019, he has been reasonably well up until recent months and now too poorly for chemo and instead various other treatments.  I'm struggling generally with the decline, seeing my Mother looking tired and wanting to help yet juggling work and parenting.  Your words above really have helped me and to know that I'm not alone in this journey, unfortunately it's a journey we have to go down with our parents and it's bloody tough.  Thank you