Hi Shay,

If she wants to drink then I think it is up to her. I know loads of people who have lung cancer and carry on smoking. 

How old is your nan? I think when some people reach a certain age they would rarther carry on as they are then try and change.

The only thing you can do is ask her to stop, but as I say some people are set in their ways. Does she live alone?

Hi Shay, welcome to the forum, but sorry to hear about your Nan having cancer. I can "hear" the fear and anger, (along with the frustration) in your post. I am a "Nan" also and I am being treated for cancer too, but I don't have a problem with alcohol. However, I did grow up with an alcoholic father, and then a brother, who later became dependent on alcohol. Alcohol dependency, in and of itself, is a terrible disease and certainly is much harder to control under stress for sure. I know you are very upset with your Nan because it is embarrassing, especially going into a hospital, or medical centre, with someone who ihas been drinking, or is intoxicated. Getting angry with your Nan is not going to change her behaviour, but likely is adding more stress for both of you. Perhaps you can have a heart to heart talk with her when she's sober, and rather than being angry with her, let her know about your feelings of fear and embarrassment, but also tell her that you love her. (I'm sure you do, but at times its' hard to love her if she's drunk.) Ask her if she can just try to stay sober for her medical apts. at least. Its' not likely that your Nan is going to kick the alcohol dependency now that she's diagnosed with cancer, although my brother actually gave up alcohol and smoking when he was diagnosed with cancer.

Come on to the forum and let us know how it goes for you. You may not be able to change your Nan's behaviour, but you can get support for yourself here on this forum. Take care and don't stop loving your Nan at a time when she needs you more than ever. Her alcoholism is also a disease.

Hugs to you and your Nan

Lorraine

Hi Shay2014 = welcome here ! You know our lovely Lorraine has spoken some very wise words. Poor old Nan can't really help needing a drink - it is a disease in its own right. I know that it certainly won't help her health = but as Lorraine says many people with the Big C find they need the solace that an old habit can give. My brother in law loved a smoke and when he got cancer we all tried hard to stop him-it gave him big stress and he used to 'sneak' a *** some times. It didn't change things for him and made us feel all guilty fo hassling him. I would have a close chat with Nan and try and find an understanding.

All the best to you and take care

steven xx

Yes do let us know how you are feeling and getting on Shay = we all think of you and Nan. I know its jolly hard - but maybe we can offer a ray of sunshine into the situation.

steven xxx