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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jules,

    Hope your "Christmas top" day goes well tomorrow at work.  Wanted to wish you a Happy Christmas before you go away.  I expect I will also be "off the forum" for a while over the hols but will speak again soon.  Take care and hope you, hubby and family have a special Christmas together.  Hope xx

  • Wish wish you and your family a very Happy Christmas and Happy New year 2014 Jules. My heart goes out to you and your family and we will keep your dear hubby in our minds. We also wear festive tops = I enjoy it - Christmas in a Supermarket!

  • Dearest Jules, Just wanted to catch you before you head off for the festivities. 'Enjoy' your festive top day at work! Wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas. Catch up soon, take care, love and hugs Jo xx
  • Hi Jules,

    Just wanted to wish a really relaxing Christmas when you and hubby go away. Sorry I haven't been around much in the last few weeks have had a lot on my mind. Time for us to relax now we have done all we can for the guests. 

    Happy Christmas to all my good friends on Cancer chat and wishing you all a brilliant New Year. 

    hugs 

    Annabel. xx

  • Hi Jules,

    Well it's late on Christmas Eve afternoon and I am still waiting for some electricians to arrive so no sign of going home just yet.  I'll get there eventually though.

    I would just like to wish you and hubby and everyone here a wonderful Christmas day tomorrow and happy new year that has come around all too quickly --- again!

    Hugs to you and your entire family Jules and I will catch up with you in the new year when work life should have returned to its usual dull roar.

    MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!

     

    Garf. xx

  • Hi to all my forum buddies.  Hope you all managed some R&R over the festive period and enjoyed time with family/friends.

    We had a very restful few days at our sons are now back home and ready to greet daughter and family for buffet lunch following their return from the 'in laws' where they too had a great Christmas.  Hubby at last accepting a bit more help (needs must) and hoping to have a positive visit with nurse on Tuesday  though very pleased to report that his coccyx is beginning to heal slowly and I had no problems with doing the necessary dressing change when required.

    Wishing you all a peaceful 2015 and will chat again soon.  Hugs to you all. Jules x

  • Welcome back Jules,

     So pleased that you had a great time and that hubby has accepted a bit more help. We men like to maintain our independance as much as possible but there come a time like when I broke that bone in my groin area, I had to let Mrs B do virtually everything for me. At least you have had time to recharge batteries. It's nice you are having another "Family Day" today as I know how much you love having the family visit.

    I have now downloaded a new programe that lets me download any videos from you tube as there are some good ones on there about woodturning. It's bright and sunny here today but quite cold outside. May take Mrs B to garden centre to see if they have any bargains. She loved her owl shopping bag I bought her but dont know if she will use it as she said it's to good to use.

    Take care and have a great day today, sending best wishes your way together with hugs, Brian

     

  • Hi Brian

    I hope, if you managed to take Mrs B out, that she found something nice to buy that she can use. Perhaps in time the owl bag will make it out of the house or maybe she can use it for something indoors but its lovely that she is happy with it.  I splashed out on a new dustpan and brush (old one really grotty and really only good for garden now!) as found one in purple (a favourite colour of mine) - it cost a £1!!

    Hubby finding the stairs troublesome now and so am expecting to ask nurses tomorrow (routine dressing visit) to arrange bed/portable loo equipment to make things a bit easier for him.  Virtually given up on food but is drinking plenty (though not as many of the prescribed shakes as I would like) so continuing to watch him like a hawk but no nagging.  Small steps (remembering Beryl's advice) and day to day planning in place.

    Had a lovely visit from daughter and family yesterday and saw them again today as they gave me a lift home from work - am being somewhat spoilt!  Depending on time of nurse's visit tomorrow will try and fit in launderette and visit to Mum during my day off as well as re-jig lounge layout to take hospital bed in due course - never a dull moment.

    Being able to download info videos for your woodturning (and I am sure other interesting stuff too) will be very useful for you - clever fella. Kind thoughts and peaceful days.  Jules x

  • Hi Jules,

    Yes Mrs B and I did get to the garden centre and I bought her a fibre optic peonie decoration/plant which she fell in love with as soon as she saw it. It was reduced by 50% and only cost £7.50. I tried to load a vidoe I had taken of it but this site wont accept my video type so will just post a photo instead so I will have to leave the colour changing to your imagination. I bought myselfe a calendar full of wonderful tress, Now come on, what did you think I would buy????????

    Am trying to make my nuts last as long as possible so as to avoid going on my diet but mr Tesco was sold right out when we visited this morning so not able to add to my stock. It was minus 5 at the time and getting into my car was like stepping into the freezer. . V v v very c c c cold so didnt hang about.

    I hope your mother is okay and is in a more talketive mood today. It must be so hard for Hubby to have to accept more help for I am sure he values his independance. At the end of the day I think we all feel no one can do things as well as we can even though this is incorrect. I hope the nurse's visit went okay and you have managed a trip to laundret and not got too cold. Our self seeded Primrose had allready started flowering in the garden and we even had one Rhodedendron flower opening up until the frost got it.

    Take care of your self Jules, as I know thing must be more stressful as your hubby slowly gets weaker. You say you feel he is a hero for not moaning but then niether do you so to use your own rules, you are also a hero. Thinking of you and seding best wishes and kind thoughts your way, big hugs, Brian

     

  • Hi Brian

    So pleased Mrs B found something at the Garden Centre and am sure she will enjoy having it displayed.

    A shame your nuts are running low (such a short season).  Have no doubt that we should both be watching the waistline now (am still working my way through shortbread and a lovely piece of brie!) but have decided my comfort food is important but perhaps is not such large quantities.

    Unable to visit Mum today as had to wait around for District Nurse to let them in but it was definitely worth it.Lovely Nurse was aware of my concerns and then asked hubby if he would prefer hospital bed in our lounge or a trip to hospital!!  He agreed to 'home bed' in a flash - common-sense prevailed and she told us it should be here by weekend so would need to prepare 'space'.  Two hours later got a call to say delivery would be tomorrow - what  a great service - and the supplier has already phoned to check I knew all about it and once the bed arrives I have a number to call so that pressure relief mattress can be delivered too.  Hence I have an extended break as I have had to take tomorrow as leave so I can be here. We were also able to touch on future care plans so that 'our support team' have a rough idea of hubby's wishes (news to me too!!!!).  He would prefer care at home with me and carers when necessary.

    Hope this Nurse can visit again as she really knew how to phrase things and there was no emotional fall out, just calm acceptance and understanding.Have had an early spring clean and lounge now re-arranged so just hope bed fits!

    Wishing you Mrs B and all the family a peaceful and happy 2015 and thank you for your continued support to me and the forum in general - it means a lot.  Hugs  Jules x