This discussion has been locked.
You can no longer post new replies to this discussion. If you have a question you can start a new discussion

Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Brian

    What a fantastic array or goodies - looks fantastic and no wonder you are proud of the results - always happy to see your handiwork/photos to 'pretty up' my thread.

    Went out for over two hours in all (no rain here today thankfully) as hubby remained indoors.  Hubby spending much of the weekend asleep but thankfully his back feels easier when he is horizontal! Weekend has passed all too quickly but  have managed to fit it Christmas shopping (both at real shops and virtually) and all being well with have finished by the month's end.  Hate doing the shopping in December!!  Back to the day job tomorrow and then hubby's consultant check up on Tuesday when no doubt I will find out how he is really feeling and I can update on the forum and with our family and friends.

    Take care and have a relaxing week.  All the best to you and Mrs B (Hope her brother in law is coping with treatment okay and that your Dad continues to manage.  Sending kind thoughts. Jules x

  • Good morning Jules,

    Yesterday was another good day for my family. I had a phone call from my son as he was leaving the archery competition last night to say he had achieved a new personal best, beaten the club longbow record again, and had won three gold medals. I asked how my granddaughter had done and he said "Not quite so well". There was a long pause before he said "she only won a bronze, a silver and not just one but four gold medals". I was astounded am am so very proud of them both. 

    I want to wish you both well for tommorows meeting with the consultant. I know the tension always builds up before this so I will be thinking of you both and am sending kind thoughts and best wishes for tommorow. Take care, hugs, Brian.

     

  • Hi Jules,

    I am in absolute awe that, given everything you have going on right now you are far more ready for Christmas than I am.  My wife and I agreed while having breakfast in a cafe on Saturday morning that we had done nothing whatsoever to get ready for the festive period except for buying three chocolate oranges but we then changed the subject and so any further plans will no doubt wait until the last minute.  It usually means us both wandering the streets of Chichester or Portsmouth with her uhming and ahhing about what to buy while I play donkey and carry everything. On the subject of Xmas I spoke to Mum as usual yesterday and she dropped another heavy hint about wanting a laptop as she has no computer and never has had. I think she may have to wait until her birthday for that one!

     

    Wishing you and hubby good luck with his next appointment tomorrow and I hope he has managed to find a more comfortable way to sit.  Have either of you considered one of those inflatable, ring shaped cushions?

     

    All the best to you both!

    Garf. xx

  • Hello just a quick text to say hope all goes well tomorrow for hubby  and you I will be thinking of you  x Sueanne x
     

  • Hello just a quick text to say hope all goes well tomorrow for hubby  and you I will be thinking of you  x Sueanne x
     

  • Hi Jules, Just a quick post to wish and hubby well for tomorrow's appointment. Also hope they manage to sort him out with a suitable device to ease his back pain! Hugs to you, Jo xx Brian, love the array of goodies on your display - the amount of stock you've managed to produce makes me think we should rename you 'beaver' as you've obviously spent many days, 'beavering' away! Hugs to you, Jo xx Garf, Great to see your name pop up! Your comment to Jules about Christmas shopping made me smile! I have visions of you in a donkey costume, laden down with presents! (Obviously, I've spent too many years helping to produce the school Nativity!) Take care, hugs from your friendly stalker xxx Sorry Jules, to hijack your thread!! xx Not sure why there are no paragraphs! Another glitch in the new system! And also not sure why beaver has been asterisked out! It's done it again - it's a brown, mammal that builds a dam!
  • Hi Jules,

    Sorry for delay in catching up, have been really busy. Just wanted to wish you all the best for hubby's appointment tomorrow.  Hope you are not too busy at work now - emotional meltdowns are allowed and sometimes make us feel better; good that you have supportive workmates.  Great to hear that your grandson is doing really well at school, like the idea of the laminated favourite picture for talktime - you'll have to let me know if it works, perhaps it could be adopted on older kids too!!  Take care and thinking of uyou.  Hope x

  • Hi to all my buddies

     

    Sorry this is a joint response to you all but it will save you 'reading time'.

    Had appointment with palliative care consultant/support worker this morning as planned.  Thankfully all medication still working okay so no changes required.  His weight is still falling which is a cause for concern so she has put in a referral to the dietician to see if that can help in any way.  Hubby has agreed but realistically they, like me, cannot make him 'enjoy food' so we will see how it goes.  Any hints and tips will be welcome especially if it can make a difference.  Having said that he is currently eating egg and bacon! for lunch. Discussion were had re small sore spot but they do not consider specialist cushion required and the nurse will continue to call to change dressing for now.  He will continue with monthly check ups with the GP(with associated blood tests) and three month appointment made to see consultant again.

    Once again thank you all for your kind words and continuing support when you have your own health/lives to be getting on with - its is truly appreciated and I send lots of hugs to you all. 

    Brian - wonderful 'archery news' from your son and grand-daughter.

    Garf - As I work in retail and am on my feet for 6hrs I like to get my Christmas shopping done and dusted early because December is so busy with other things.  Currently booking a trip to the Christmas Market in Bath in December and hoping can go with my friend (hubby seems pleased for me to be able to go) as it includes lunch in the Cotwolds enroute too.  Hope you are taking care of yourself and good to see you are still 'doing' breakfast out on a Saturday morning. 

    Sueanne -  Lovely here now (following earlier rain) so hope you and Rusty are enjoying autumnal strolls - the colours on the trees here are amazing and I still have roses and fushia flowering  which seems absurd at this time of year!  Hope you are doing okay too.

    Hope -thanks for thinking of me when I am sure you have your hands full especially with Christmas term time and family matters.  Used to love helping out in class when mine were little (yes my memory does go that far back).

    Jo - thanks for thinking of me especially when you are recuperating from your op.  Hope each day finds you feeling more comfortable especially as I read you have had a 'stapler full' of staples removed now.  Give yourself time to heal and enjoy all that TLC - its richly deserved.

    Kind thoughts returned to you all with virtual hugs. Jules x

  • Hello Jules im so glad things went well for hubby this morning I remember those appointments so well waiting wondering ..Does hubby like homemade soups maybe add crotons to fill him up and with cream added  yum ..The weather is beautiful today sunny and warm like you fuscias still in flower as are hydranga and my new salvia hotlips .Yes Rusty and I have been on a lovely walk he met his friend a black girl greyhound called Jessie she is my friend Jans dog they love each other if they see each other from a distance they both whine for each other so we have to let them meet ....take care Jules hugs as usual Sueanne x

  • Hi Jules, Good to read the positives in your post about hubby's medication. Shame they didn't feel he warranted a cushion to ease his back pain. Hopefully the dressing changes will help. As for tips on what to eat, I can't offer any ideas other than the usual, quiches, omelettes, beans on toast, jacket potatoes, etc. I'm sure you've offered all these items! I know when my appetite was suppressed, I drank milkshakes and Bovril! Not together, obviously! Hopefully, the dietician referral will come through soon and offer some additional ideas. Thanks for the posting tips on my thread! I no longer see the toolbar with smiley faces! Must be something to do with using an iPad! No doubt tomorrow's chat /interview will shed some light! I'm hoping this will post as its my second attempt this evening! Lost connection or something! Blinkin' technology! Great while it works for you! Haha! Take care, Jules, hugs to you, Jo xx