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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jo,

    I know Jules's won't mind me butting in on her site, how are you?  Haven't spoken for ages.  Sounds like you are enjoying the hols like me!  I hope you are keeping well.  Hope xx

    Hi Jules,

    Hope you are OK, have sent you a PM.  Hope xx

  • Hi Hope,

    Lovely to 'chat' again!

    I'm having a great holiday - getting lots of jobs done so that when I go back to school in September, at least my house will be in some sort of order!

    I am feeling well, thank you for asking. I'm pretty much back up to full energy levels now - can't believe my liver op was nearly 8 weeks ago!

    I've still got a little way to go - another hurdle in the form of a lung lesion to overcome, but I don't have a treatment plan for this yet as I'm not due to be scanned until mid September. Hopefully, if the lesion has remained 'solo', a resection is on the cards!

    Until then, I'll carry on enjoying the lie-ins and pottering in the garden!

    How are your sons getting on? Both of them a year further on into their educations! Where does time go?

    Take care, Hope. Carry on resting and relaxing - September 1st will soon be here!

    Often wondered why the 6 weeks holiday seems to go faster than a 6 week half term!

    Hugs to you, Jo xx

  • Hi again Jo So glad you are recovering well after the liver op and glad the weather has remained good for the hols so you can relax and make the most of it.  I will keep my fingers crossed that following your scan in September you will have a definite plan of treatment for the lung lesion. Totally agree how the 6 weeks hols go so much quicker than the 6 week term! Been enjoying the hols myself.  Sons doing well thank you, eldest finished 1st year at Uni now looking at Unis for youngest for next year! I had planned some house jobs myself in the hols, but not doing very well so far as I keep going out with friends!  Take care Jo and speak again soon.  Hope x

    PS Once again Jules, sorry for hijacking your thread  xx

  • Hi Brian

    Sorry it has taken so long to reply.  Just do not know where the time goes at present.  The family we have in Canda live in various towns in Ontario.  Will be really nice to catch up with Brian to see what has been happening.

    Will defintely put a note in the calender for you next show - just in time for Christmas as well.

    Will be down in Chichester again in mid September as my neice has an exhibition of her photos in a Gallery in Chichester.

    Being nut free is probably a double edged sword.  On the one hand you are losing a bit of weight but on the other you are nut free!

    Best wishes.

    Gill

  • Hi Lisa

    So sorry not to have replied before now but we have been without a landline (and thus internet) due to a fault (outside) and have only just 'come back on' (not that BT let us know it was fixed!! - pure luck that an old friend rang and got through!!)

    Really sorry to hear your worries over Joe and his eating (or lack of!!) but hope that now its out in the open he can enjoy smaller meals rather than worrying you.  Sometimes its just not easy to talk to those closest to us (for our menfolk anyway).  How lovely that Paul was able to find those two special words 'thank you' when you received such good news at the hospital.  In my head I know you are right in that my hubby thinks good things but just cannot express them (and was never a 'romantic' anyway lol) but some days its just hard doing the 'watching'.

    So far he has had just two of the 'shakes' gifted him by the GP!! but we are managing smaller (and smaller) portions of food and I am trying to keep his liquids up (clotted cream ice cream/vienetta and custard are also back on the menu but as a meal rather than as a dessert).

    Thanks for your message of support, really appreciated and am very thankful I have this forum to turn to.  By the way loving the 'nature news'.  After many years without hedgehogs we have a family in the back garden again which is lovely. Also have many goldfinches who are eating me out of niger and sunflower seeds.  Had a lovely day in the garden yesterday and now its very soggy after torrential downpours.

    Take care and be kind to yourself.  Jules x

  • Hi Jo, Hope and everyone who reads this

    So sorry for delay in replying but our landline developed a fault and therefore no internet access (grr).  Purely by chance found out it was working today (an old friend phoned and I could hear her!!) and our son in law re-booted our router and for now all seems okay.  Seems as though the storms and high winds could be a bit of a problem though so if I 'disappear' its nothing personal!!

    Glad you  both enjoying the summer break.  I can't believe where the time is going.  Our daughter and family have just returned from a week staying with friends near the coast in Norfolk and came to dinner tonight so have been catching up on their news and have eldest grandson booked in for a sleepover at the end of the month (he has even planned his perfect dinner!! - toad in the hole and roast potatoes).  Youngest grandson nearly has my nickname (given me by the eldest boy) right and they are growing fast.    Shop has had busy periods but with no tubes running into town for the last three weeks there has been a reduction in 'feet on the street' lol.  Nonetheless plenty to keep us busy with changes to layouts and admin side of the job.  Hopefully things will be back to normal when I travel tomorrow (works were supposed to end today!) but one thing will be different - just received my free travel pass for London travel  due to my age - yippee.

    Hope all is well with you and will try and clear my e-mail backlog over the coming few days (you do not realise how much you depend on a computer until its not available!!) though had to laugh when BT advised me to check the status of our 'fault repair' by going online despite my telling them the fault had caused the internet to stop working = doh!!.

    Virtual hugs  Jules x

  • Good morning Jules,

    Sorry I haven't posted to you for a day or so but have been so busy re-arranging/sorting all my stock of timber. I have found some items I had forgotten that I had and have just realized how much wood I have. Having just cut some up a few days ago, yesterday I found several pieces I could have used had I know about them. Sorry to hear you lost phone/Internet as I know how you like to be in contact with friends/family.

    My granddaughter has won achieved another county record at archery. So proud of her.

    I was in my garage yesterday when the heavens opened up. I have not seen rain like it for a long time. I couldn't get indoors for a drink for quite some time. Hope you enjoy your "Free Bus Travel" from now on. Will talk again soon, take care, Brian.

  • Hi Brian

    Bet you have 'new plans afoot' now that you have sorted your woodpile and am sure you were thrilled when the job was done and also very thirsty!   The rain was welcome in the garden but very violent in nature round here.  The grandchildren loved the storms though and watched from inside (eldest wanted to be out in it but was told very firmly by his Dad that that was not an option).  I am very happy to be re-connected but it may take me a while to catch up on all my mail - amazing how quickly it builds up.  Several of our friends/old neighbours now live abroad and this is the main way we keep in touch.  Whatever the problem was BT managed to sort it without having to come inside so fingers crossed it will stay ok.  Still have to wait for the water company to return to 'dig yet another hole' to see if they can find the cause of our 'bubbling spring' but at least I am not baling out this time as it appears to be outside the house this time (me thinks there may be a connection problem and 'we are not amused').

    Hubby managed the short drive to the high street today to sort out more medication and has enjoyed some ice cream for lunch - currently he is busy checking his lottery!! (think I have about £7 to pick up for him).  Very pleased to have our underground service fully restored and can enjoy it even more now its free ha ha. Will still walk where I can though as its better for me (currently suffering with sciatica for the first time ever and keeping on the move helps as the pain comes if I sit down for too long).

    Hope you and Mrs B are keeping well and congratulations to your grand-daughter for her award in the archery.  Best regards  Jules x

  • Hi Jules,

    One of the benifit's of the wood sorting yesterday was I found several pieces just the right size for my mini bud vases all assorted timbers which I turned 11 No today in less than 4 hours. Timbers include Teak, Plum, American Tulipwood, Maple and others. (Photo attached) Sorry to hear you have to have the garden up again. Glad hubby was able to drive today and enjoyed some ice cream and also had a small win. I cant even win a bobby prize, never had much luck. The only time I did have a win was at a craft fair and was nothing I could use so Mrs B  did quite well. Pleased that the underground service has resumed but sorry to hear you suffer from sciatica for this can be painful. It's currently raining very hard as I write this. Hope your mother is okay when you visit tomorrow. I have seen pictures of the floods and hailstones, some as big as golf balls that Canada has had recently where my family live.

    Hope you have a good week. Best wishes to you, hubby and family, Brian. 

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  • Hi Brian

    The bud vases  you have turned are lovely and the different woods really bring such a variety of colours - a great way to use up 'offcuts' and provide pleasure both for you as the 'maker' and for those who end up owning them.

    Mum was in quiet mode (but restful) yesterday so I brought her up to date with the little family news I had.  The staff say she is still capable of having the odd good day and they do as much with her then as they can fit in as she really appreciates it (even getting a 'push' to the local shops).  Physically she is much the same but still manages most days with the walking frame when indoors (only goes out in the wheelchair) but does not wish to visit us for a change of scene and think she feels safe in her environment.  This is going to make it difficult in the coming months when we have to bring Social Services back into the frame as am pretty sure she will have little choice but to move out but we have to accept that there is a certain criteria these days and with all her savings used up only a lottery win (ever hopeful) can 'save the day'.

    Hubby continues to try small meals and know he is trying so hard but its a day to day struggle for him but each day brings different results- some better than others .  I am now used to doing separate meals for us both but we still managed to eat together most of the time so hanging on  to that for now.  Have even managed to introduce 'ice-cream' suppers for him (but trying to avoid them myself which is not easy).

    Well best get ready for work.  Hope you and MrsB have a good day and that your family both in the UK and Canada are doing ok.  Best regards  Jules x