This discussion has been locked.
You can no longer post new replies to this discussion. If you have a question you can start a new discussion

Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jules,

    Just a quick post before we go shopping. Finally finished my saw bench yesterday and have come up with some new ideas for my turning. We are also going to the cemetery to put some flowers on my mothers grave as it would have been her birthday. Grand daughter has won the postal league for her age group in archery plus a trophy for the winter shoot she took part in. My son has just bought a longbow and trying it out for the first time has reach a very good score.

    Hope your visit to your mother goes well and that work was not to hard being as you were on your own yesterday.

    Best wishes to you and you family, Brian

  • Morning Susananne

    The fete sounds a very similar event to the ones held at the home where my Mum currently resides and its always lovely to see the interaction between the frail/elderly residents and the babies and children. I spent much of the weekend in the garden as the weather was beautiful, the only drawback being the 'catch up' I need to do indoors. Hubby is still one for staying indoors (always been this way) so have taken to opening every window and door so he gets some fresh air passing through. I am popping to visit Mum this morning and then have to get home to prepare lunch before heading out this afternoon as I have to attend my mammogram appointment - those 3yrs seems to have gone very quickly!  Will also take the chance to meet a friend for afternoon cuppa as its her birthday tomorrow and willbe lovely to give her a 'treat' - my non work day soon taken care of.

    Hope you are keeping yourself well and sounds as though Rusty is enjoying 'fine dining' and lovely scenic walks.  Jules x 

  • Hi Gill

    Hope you enjoyed a good weekend.  Weather was great here and luckily no mishaps (other than a strained arm from 'playing' in the garden) to contend with.  Had a mini win on the bingo so go for free next time and hubby managed a few hours out with his mate (though felt a bit yuk on his return even though only on soft drinks) but is struggling a bit to keep it going I think.  He will decide when the time is right to 'socialise at home' but as its the only time he goes out I think he will try to keep it up for as long as possible.  Thankfully our friends only live round the corner so home visiting will not cause a problem either way.

    We heard from my sister in law (via e-mail) yesterday to say that they are hoping for quick sales of their properties so that the Isle of Man move can go ahead as soon as possible(they have found a property there) and she has advised her workplace that as soon as firm offer on her place goes through she will retire.  They are up to their eyes in boxes and not enjoying that side of it all but have a storage unit to hold most of the things they wish to keep and are moving themselves (hubby's brother, wife and sister all going to be living together on the Island) to help with costs.  They are hoping to be there before the Autumn as ferry crossings can be delayed/cancelled later in the year. Can only wish them all the best and hope things go smoothly.

    Well am off to visit Mum this morning and then dashing home to get lunch before heading back into town to attend local breast unit for mammogram (3yr check) -somuch for my day off being relaxing ha ha. (Am lightening the mood before appointment by treating a friend to afternoon cuppa/cake for her birthday).

    Not long now before the children break up.  My daughter has been collecting ideas/materials to keep her eldest busy and is very good with the practical stuff.  If the weather is good then the park/lido will see regular visitors I'm sure.  They also have a week at friends in Norfolk to look forward as their main holiday this year.

    Hope you and the family are all doing okay.  Jules x

  • Morning Brian

    See you had an early start this morning so hope the shopping trip goes well (handy to get it out of the way before the heat of the day hits) and you get to find something nice to enjoy (maybe via the nut shop).

    Am hoping to find Mum 'in voice' when I visit later but will take it as it comes.  They had an event at the Home at the weekend so that will give us something to chat about and I can bring her up to date with family news as its been two weeks since I saw her (could not go with my cold).

    Wonderful news about your grand-daughter's archery award and sounds as though your son is becoming a modern day Robin Hood.  Its great that they share sporting interests.  Hope your young grandson is now fully recovered from his sore head and that you and Mr B are keeping okay (hope that Mrs B's diabetes is behaving itself following recent ups and downs - Mum has had her own medication changed slightly to accommodate a few blips).  Chat again soon.  Jules x

  • Hi  Jules,

    Didn't get to the nut shop but did stock up on nuts. Didn't start work in the garage until quite late this moning  but did turn three items, two mini bud vases  and Christmas snowman although I wish I had found some whiter timber for him. (Have plenty but it's right at the bottom of the pile as usual)  I am going to use your idea (Thank you) for tea lights apple shape's with the faces. When I have my next show I may have to consider a bigger table.

    It has turned out very hot here this afternoon. Hope you test was okay and that your mother was in talking mode. I took my granddaughter to The South Coast Amazing Book Awards last Friday night and it was nice to spend some time with her on her own. She didn't stop talking during the half hours drive there. She bought a book and managed to get the author to sign it for her.

    Have just spoken to sister in law and they have a water leak under the kitchen floor so have to get kitchen unit moved before they can get it fixed.

    Anyway will chat again soon, take care and best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

          

                 [[ ]]



  • Hi Jules

    Glad you had a quieter weekend.  Was the strained arm the fault of Swingball or lifting ZacK?

    Sorry to hear hubby was not so good after the evening out.  I am sure you are right that he wants to keep this going as long as possible but I am also sure he will know when the time comes to socialise at home.

    I can imagine that your sister-in-law is not having a good time of it.  Living out of boxes is horrible.  You are never sure how much to pack up because you want the house to look as attractive as possible for potential buyers.  The average time for a transaction to go through is 6 to 8 weeks from issue of contracts although it does depend on many things inlcuding how long the chain is.  My parents holidayed on the Isle of Man many times and loved it (Dad was a big TT fan).

    Hope the visit to your mum was ok and that she was on good form.  Like you I am not a fan of being manhandled during a mamogram.  I am sure there should be a better way.  I like the idea of coffee and a cake.  Not sure if it would be best beforehand or have it to look forward to after.  Mind you last time I went for a check they were running about 30 mintues late so before is probably safer.

    The school holidays always seem so long and it is not easy keeping children amused.  No doubt there will be a few visits to you and hubby as well as the park/lido.  Let us hope the weather stays good.

    Virtual hugs.

    Gill

  • Hi Gill

    Well, the good news is that my arm feels a little easier with gentle exercises (clipping hedge!!) and Ibuferon gel.  Really not sure what caused it (wrong arm for the swingball and was not lifting Zack on this visit though did have an accidental headbutt from the eldest grandson during 'rough and tumble' on that arm!!). All I need now is a good night's sleep which is still something of an issue ~(hot flushes and humid conditions are not a help) ~ but suspect its my 'subconsious thinking' which causes problems too!!

    Visit to Mum was 'silent but not deadly'.  Her good day was apparently the day before when she did a little reading, had a manicure, smiled and took part in crossword activity and was chatty which was at least good to hear.  I gave her an update with the family, got a nod and then she went to sleep so will be back next week with the next instalment!

    Met my friend in town and enjoyed coffee and a piece of coffee and walnut 'traybake.  Managed to window shop for a couple of hours (killing time which then led to expenditure when I found a top and cardigan in the sale, the latter of whichI had been trying to find for some time so was delighted).  Also found some new trousers for the other half (now just need him to try them on!!).  Was still half hour early for my Mammogram so expected a wait but was told the earlier appointment had cancelled and I could go straight in so I was on my way home even before my appointment time and it was no problem at all. Results as usual in a couple of weeks.

    My daughter is not one to stay indoors whatever the weather and though the holidays are long she is a great 'planner' and the boys get lots of fresh air.  The local park is just 5mins across the road(they live in an upstairs flat with only small patch for garden though the paddling pool will be out if its warm enough) and with the eldest loving his bike, the long pathways are ideal.  She has stocked  up on a few activity packs and will no doubt do 'cookie' making amongst other things.  She has a good group of mates with/without children and they will all take turns in 'hosting' tea  or having picnics if the weather allows. Our son in law has a couple of weeks off too, one of which they are staying with friends who live a few minutes from the beach and as they have a Merlin pass for a year no doubt Legoland, Chessington and Thorpe Park will be on the cards too.  Our son and his OH have also said they will take the eldest out for the day which will give her a break.  Zack is not quite on the  move yet (though they do have a small playpen if the need arises) but is easily entertained at present and also happy to sleep in his pushchair if they are out and about.  Grandad enjoys seeing them too but it can be pretty tiring with the 'constant babble' so if theyvisit us its usually for a couple of hours.

    Hope you are enjoying being back in work mode and that you are keeping well.  No doubt Alice is working hard but also enjoying the home comforts whilst back from Uni - our son always appreciated home cooking and being able to catch up with his 'old mates' when he was  back for the longer hols (he mainly stayed in Southampton during the other breaks as he was working down there and had a good set of housemates to socialise with).

    Well, think you can tell that 'silence is golden indoors' with the amount of rambling going on so had best move on to the housework for half hour before setting off to work (won't have time for this regimen next week as will have to leave earlier for work with no tubes running for nearly a month and having to 'bus it').  Take care and chat soon.  Jules x

  • Morning Jules,

    Hope your arm is feeling better - you and me would make a right pair!  Have sent you a PM, catch up soon.  Hope x

  • Hi Jules

    Glad the arm is feeling easiser.  It might just have been bruising of the muscles from the head butt.  I know what you mean about sleeping.  Thankfully the hot flushes stopped when the treatment did but the heat/humidity makes it rather difficult.  Also guilty of subconcious thinking.  Hopefully we can both stop this and get some good sleep (cat allowing).

    Sorry your Mum was not in a chatty mood but at least she was taking part the previous day which is good news.

    Glad to hear your mamogram was early - a definite bonus as were the sale bargins.  husband will only buy trousers from two stores where he knows they will fit as he hates shopping and trying things on.

    I can understand that your daughter's visits are limited to a couple of hours.  Children can be very hard work and hubby must find it hard at times especially when he gets tired.  It probably will not be too long before Zack is on the move and have everyone chasing after him.  i am sure he will love that.  Alice used to lover Legoland when she was a lot younger but was never too keen on Chessington or Thorpe park.

    Alice has been off this week meeting up with friends, one of whom is moving Sweden in a couple of weeks.  She will be abck in harness next week and kept busy although she thinks you need to be brain dead to work on reception full time.  She has cooked once this week and offered to cook two or three times next week which is lovely for me.

    Must admit when I lived in London I went everywhere by tube and only used buses when forced to.  Not sure which is worse in this hot weather.  Sweltering on both I should think.

    Best wishes.

    Gill

  • Hi Brian

    Just loving the snowman and the shades of colour in the bud vases.  You should have plenty of stock ready for your next 'show' and am glad that your shopping included some 'energy nuts' as you are putting lots of work in.

    Fully sympathise with the 'water' problems in  your sister-in-law's kitchen.  We are expecting more unheavel this weekend as our plumbers are returning (their wish to work on Sunday (though made sure did not bump up cost)) to replace all the pipework coming into the house.  As carpets/furniture and floorboards will need to me moved and/or lifted they are bringing 'extra' man. I had, on the quiet, mentioned hubby was not in a position to be of assistance and they have been very helpful in involving him in decisions but making sure theyhave the necessary manpower to manage the situation.  Have put in early orders for 'plenty of coffee' so will be filling containers with water in readiness for the cut off.  We can evacuate to our daughter's place if we need to take a break from the mayhem but they do not expect it to be too bad. Must say I do not envy them working in these temperatures (and possibly getting a soaking looking at the outlook!!).

    Very glad that our tubes have air con but from next Monday will be taking to the bus for at least 3 weeks as they close our line completely to do major engineering works so will have to leave home ealier as its a 20min brisk walk to the bus station and no doubt heavier local traffic as people prefer to drive themselves.

    Am reasonably busy at work but think the weather is keeping customers 'hot under the collar' and though I do not work past 2pm apparently trade has been slower after lunch - when I leave there are plenty of people enjoying the outside space and tables outside cafes are usually full.  Hubby seems to be coping with the heat quite well but remains an 'insider'  whilst I like nothing better than sitting in the shade outside and benefitting from the breeze.  Just a shame cannot sleep out there at night!!

    Hope you and Mrs B are managing the heat okay.  Best wishes to you both. Jules x