This discussion has been locked.
You can no longer post new replies to this discussion. If you have a question you can start a new discussion

Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jules,

    My wooden family keeps growing, Here are the latest additions.

    Take care, Best wishes, Brian

           [[ ]]

  • Brian

    The keyrings and your growing family of wood are just wonderful and not only do they bring you joy in the creation of them (obviously your deep love for the wood itself shows) but will give some lucky souls immense pleasure when they change hands.  Just love the 'cheeky' looking guy on the end (right) and think this must be 'you' after your visit to the nut shop.  Bet Brianitus is alive and well now you are re-stocked.  Hope today's appointment went/goes well.

    Spent a sunny morning with coffee and book in the garden (last day of 'freedom') and my daughter popped in with Zack to return the washload she had taken off my hands which is also now dry. Am 'coughing better' as they say and will face the ironing later so that everything is up to date before return to work tomorrow (at least its only 2 days this week).

    Hubby will be pleased to 'get rid of me' so that he won't be nagged into eating/drinking (have to keep trying the 'encouragement route')!!  Best wishes to you and Mrs B and hope your Dad and brother in law making good progress.  Take care Jules x

  • Hi Gill

    Thinking of you and hoping your results are good for you.Jules x

  • Hi Jo

    Never mind being hijacked by my forum buddies.  Hope you doing ok and that Paddy giving your partner lots of exercise.  Kind thoughts sent your way,Jules x

  • Hi Jules,

    So sorry to hear you and husband had an awful time with the plumbing and the gas cooker.

    I am sure you could have done without all of that. I suppose at least you were on holiday and were there to cope with it all, even the lack of sleep.

    Daughters can be wonderfully helpful and supportive, not saying sons aren't just that girls can be so practical.

    Hope all goes well when you return to work tomoorow.

    Take care of yourself Jules

    Supportive hugs

    Annabel. xx

  • Thanks Annabel

    Two or three days of wondering what on earth we had done to deserve such luck!!  Still we managed to get through it (you have little choice) though would not recommend finding a mains burst pipe at 6.20 a m(situated just behind skirting board behind gas cooker) on a Sunday morning and then find the outside stopcock was unable to work enough to turn off water which led to me bailing water with a bowl every 5/10 mins to stop flooding the kitchen until the waterboard arrived 3hrs later to fix new stopcock!! (my daughter says she vaguely remembers her and her brother stuffing mud into a bit of  broken pipe in our front garden  when they were kids!!) but to be fair we  had not bothered to get it checked - hindsight is a wonderful thing..  Though now all sorted as far as leaks are concerned, hubby has decided to have all our old plumbing pipes (lead) replaced before any more problems arise so are waiting for a 'slot' with the same plumbing company as they were very prompt, polite and had caring attitude (its what you dont mind paying for!!).  Of course downside is the cost but there is a huge upside - we are still here to tell the tale and it seems to have given hubby less worry in that I was able to arrange things (but always asked him if I was doing ok).  Amazing how you see the positives once the drama is over ha ha.

    Our son has been working weekends in readiness for a big conference so we did not tell him what was going on otherwise know he would have been here too!  In any event daughter has today returned two loads of washing which she took home with her for us (washing machine now to be assigned to rubbish tip as the engineer confirmed it was not worth repairing) just to save me an extra trip to the launderette.  (and it was her wedding anniversary too).

    Am enjoying a quiet afternoon/evening and hope its not too manic at work tomorrow so I can 'enjoy' being back at work.

    Hope all is well with yourself and the family. hugs returned. Jules x

  • Hi Jules, Gill and Jo,

    Just to let you all know all test were good. Psa for the prostate was up from last time but still very low and the oncologist said it would gradually rise. All the other tests (diabetes, cholesterol etc ) were good so must be doing something right.

    Thank you all for your good wishes, kind regards Brian.

  • Great news for you Brian - those nuts are proving healthy as well as addictive (not that you need excuses to over-indulge).  Stay well, Jules x

  • Brian, that's great news! Hope the visit to the Vampires wasn't too bad!

    I wonder if you should have been given a nut as a reward for being so good!

    Take care, Jo xx

    Jules, hope your return to work tomorrow is a pleasant one! Not too much stock moving involved!

    Get a good nights sleep tonight,

    Hugs to you, Jo xx

  • Hi Brian

    Really good news a bout your results.  You are obviously doing something (or quite a lot of things) right.

    Am glad to say my Scan results were negative which means there is no trace of the cancer at all.  Am due back in three months.  Consultant says it will be three monthly for a while and they may go on to six monthly and after two years if all is still clear we will part company.  I have an ultrasound scan of my liver booked for 23 July and asked if it was necessary.  Consultant said probably not as he was sure it would be clear but said they were just crossing the Is and crossing the Ts. Will get it done just to be sure.

    Keep eating the nuts!

    Gill