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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Brian

    You really are so clever!  I love both the figures.  Yiu must let me know when and wher your next "do" is so I can come and buy a few bits.

    Sorry to hear about the car!  A really big dent in the wallet but you don't have much choice nowadays as it is very difficult to get about without a car outside of London.  I think ours cost about the same as it needed a few bits, nothing too big but it easily mounts up.

    Hope you have plenty of nuts in stock to keep you going through all your cancer meetings.  I have no doubt they are very appreciate of your efforts and support as I am sure many on this site are.  You are always trying to keep our spirits up with your quotes (and a very good job you do) as well as posting and supporting many people.  We would be lsot without you.

    My sister has just been told her breast cancer is back.  She is scheduled for a mastectomy on 10 of this month but is currently in Barcelona for a few days.  She is a bit miffed because she asked about a mastectomy and reconstruction when originally diangosed and was told at the time that it was not an option that her hopsital offered and they would only do a lumpectomy at that time.  She has been told that if she wants reconstruction she will haveto wait some time becuase she had radiotherapy.    She is still positive but is thinking hard about whether to go thrugh chemo again if this is offered.  She found it very hard first time round so may wel  decide it is not worth it if the manage to get everything out with the mastectomy.

    I must teach the cat to tell time time.  She is giving me dirty looks because she thinks it is time for food - mind you she thinks that at about 5am and has taken to waking me up again then just to let me know.

    Hope you have a nice day tomorrow.

    Gill

  • Hi Gill

    Sorry to read about your sister's cancer return and hope her op goes well on the 10th.  She must feel really frustrated about it all especially as she had wanted the full op in the first place. It does seem as though there are differing feelings in the hospital network as I have heard many different reactions to 'choice' and 'opportunity' in this particular area.  I wish her all the best and hope she is enjoying her R&R in Spain.  Jules x

  • Hi Jules,

    Have spent most of the day in my garage. I was given a de-walt saw bench some time ago that had had its base crushed by a fork lift. The saw itself it still in full working order so I have been making a new wooden base for it. It's one of those jobs that had to be trial and error. Have done main frame and just need to finish it off tomorrow. I was so hot when I came in I had to have a bath to get rid of the sawdust that was sticking to me.

    Glad to hear you have had a good morning and have had lots of smiles with Zack. Also pleased to hear you are enjoying the tennis.  Brother in law has now come home after his op and is eating like he has never seen food for a month. Sister in law is so pleased to have him home and Mrs B is feeling quite relieved.

    Will chat again soon, best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

  • Hi Gill,

    I am so sorry to read about your sister and the return of her cancer. Like Jules, I hope her op goes well.

    Thanks for the kind words re the figures and about the quotes.

    Some time ago Mrs B overslept and told our cat he should have woken her up. After that if she tried to have a lay in, he always used to wake her up and would keep on meowing until she got up, it was quite funny for she used to tell him to be quiet and I always said, He's only doing what you asked him to do.

    Take care Gill, sending best wishes to you and your sister, Brian.

         

  • Hi Brian

    Thanks for your good wishes for my sister will pass them on when she is back from Barcelona.

    I don't think Mrs B can complain too much if she told the cat it should have woken her.  As you say it was only doing what was asked.  I got quite used to not beeing woken up by the cat while I was off (it took about two and half months but she got there in the end) so it is comgin quiite hard to get jumped on again at 5am.  If anyone has any suggestions for teaching a cat to tell the time I would love to know.

    Gill

  • Hi Jules,

    What a hot day it was yesterday. In Brighton where I went for the cancer workshop by the time I had walked from where I had parked my car to the building where the event was to take place, I was sweating profusely. Luckily the room was very cool so soon cooled off. I did feel a bit odd as apart from three guys from Macmillan, I was the only guy there out of 30 people. Macmillan are just starting to build a brand new drop in information centre, right next to the Sussex Cancer Centre and we were discussing what services are needed. I was able to put a guys perspective on several things discussed and thought overall it was a very productive meeting.

    Your first weeks holiday has gone so quickly but I hope it has given a chance for you to be able to recharge the batteries so to speak. I bet your garden is looking neat and tidy and and that your books have been well used this week. I hope you enjoy your usual Friday night out. Enjoy the weekend and will talk again soon. Kind thoughts to you and you family, Brian.

  • Morning Brian

    Glad you were able to provide your insight into the cancer meeting.  Firsthand knowledge must be very helpful to the group when deciding how best to move forward.

    It certainly was a 'scorcher' and trust me to go down with what seems to be a 'summer cold' in response.  So now dosing myself up with throat lozenges  and gargling for a painful throat and getting through bit box of tissues!!  Not how I had imagined the second half of my annual leave being spent but just as well not having to go to work.

    Rain has just stopped here this morning and sun is shining again (but glad I managed to do the weeks shop and washing yesterday and can take it easy today).

    Hubby had GP check yesterday and though he had lost a little weight his blood tests/blood pressure were stable which was good.  Doctor has told him to up his exercise which should help his appetite a bit (his response was to spend the day in his favourite chair  so no change there!!) as she does not want to put him on steriods whilst he is capable of still helping himself (he still thinks highly of her though does not seems to follow the advice).  He goes back in a month to see her and then back to the consultant at the end of August.

    Wishing you and Mrs B a good weekend  and hope to be chatting again soon.Jules x

  • Hi Jules,

    So sorry to hear about your summer cold. It always seems to take a lot of getting rid of at this time of the year. I have had a slight touch of hay fever but nothing like I used to get. Years ago it was just like having the flue and doctor told me to stay out of the country and avoid dust. I told him not much chance of that as I worked in a timber yard situated in the countryside. I have spent most of the day tidying my garage up and its all tidy and organized again for a while. So tomorrow I can finish of my saw bench frame and get that operational.

    Sorry to hear hubby still does not want to exercise even if it was just a gentle walk with you, it would make a difference. I shall find out my latest prostate cancer psa on Tuesday as well as my latest diabetic results.

    I hope your cold soon gets better. Take care, will talk again soon, Brian

  • Hi Brian

    Well life is never easy!!  Got up this morning to a hissing noise in our kitchen and emergency plumber has found bust pipe just under kitchen floorboards.  Because its below the indoor stopcock we now have buckets catching the flow of water (since 9.30!!) as the outside stopcock has filled with earth (broken piping!!) and he is currently digging for all he is worth to try and reach the 'off point' as I am currently having to empty bowl every five minutes. (too low to the floor to get bucket under it so towels draped all over the place soaking up spray!!.  He can fix it once he gets the water turned off though as its old piping looks like a major waterworks repair is just around the corner.

    Hope all goes well with your results on Tuesday and as its cooler today no doubt you will  be finishing your woodwork project. Best wishes to you both.  Jules x

  • Oh Jules,

    Just catching up with your thread, only to see news of two unwelcome episodes!

    Summer colds seem to be doing the rounds at the moment! I really hope you're soon feeling better and able to enjoy the rest of your leave!

    It's often the way that you 'relax' into your time off from work and then go down with a lurgy of some sort!

    And on top of that, your plumbing problems! Oh I hope your plumber manages to dig his way down to the stopcock and get you sorted in super quick time!

    Presumably all this mopping up activity has meant that you're not relaxing in front of the TV with the tennis or the motor racing!

    Good to read about your hubby's blood pressure / blood tests being stable. I must admit, over the past few days, I've been with him on the exercise front, far preferring to sit on the sofa with the cat! But I know that being sedentary for too long leaves me stiff and sore, so I have made myself go for a wee saunter with the dog (partner holding the lead as Paddy is a bit exhuberant for me at the moment!)

    Wishing you a better week next week!

    Take care, hugs to you, Jo xx

    Brian, wishing you well for Tuesday's appointment. I'm still loving the quotes and especially the personal photos of your ever growing, wooden animal families!

    What talent! Hugs to you and Mrs B and hope the Brianitus isn't causing you too much discomfort xx