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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Hope

    Thanks.  Will be in touch soon.Jules x

  • Hi George

    Hope you have a really good holiday but would not hold out too much hope for a singal on Angelsey.

    Best wishes.

    Gill

  • Hi Jules

    Glad to read on another thread that your Mum was in a good mood.  Hope the PofA goes through fairly quickly.  It will make life a bit easier for all concerned if both you and/or your daughter are able to deal with things.

    Will try and catch up on the tennis in the evenings but was pleased to see Andy Murray in such good form.  Hopefully he will keep it up.

    Did my first full day at work today which was fine (boss kept asking me all afternoon if I was ok).  It was really good because Alice offered to do the cooking even though she is working full time as well.  Says she is happy to do the cooking a few times each week.

    Unfortunately the quilt set is still not quite finished.  Have ben having trouble finding a thread to match the decoration as there has been nothing even close.  Finger crossed that this will be sorted soon as another shop have just started stocking thread so will visit them on Thursday.  They have said they are happy to order anything in if they do not already have it which is great.  Next time I will have to choose an easier colour although I was only trying to match the jade colour that Alice chose for her curtains so perhaps I can blame her.

    Best wishes and make the most of the good weather.

    Gill

  • Morning Gill

    Glad to read that your first full day went well and its lovely that you have a caring boss who is looking out for you.  Nice to come home to Alice's cooking too which will give you a break in the evenings.  No doubt you are starting to feel that your routine is returning.  Am sure the quilt will be great once the ellusive thread is located - hopefully the new shop will be able to assist - loving the colour choice even if its proving difficult.  We have a huge hobby/craft shop recently opened in our local high street who appear to be very accomodating too (so I am told - am not practical in any shape, way or form!!)

    When Mum is in good humour its such a bonus so I have to make the most of that time.  Most of the residents were treated to a morning in the garden (beautiful at present as ablaze with roses and petunias) and were offered lunch outside if they wished.  Mum preferred to stay inside (she is another one like my hubby) but to be able to sit and chat normally is so rare now I would have sat anywhere to be honest.  Apparently she had not had a very good night and the staff say this always seems to leave her in a better mood the following day so perhaps she deals with her demons during the night and feels refreshed. Its almost like she has an on/off switch but when she is on a good day she is very 'with it' and is amazing for her 88 yrs.  Days like this are very rare and thus pretty special and certainly lift the mood.

    Well for me I have just two work days and then on leave for 12 days but it looks as though the weather is on the turn (somewhat typical when I would like to 'holiday in the garden!!) so looks like I may be kicking my heels indoors watching tennis between the showers!!  Do have day out planned with a friend so will enjoy that I am sure and then take it day to day and will probably feel more relaxed once the form filling has been finalised and sent off - having my daughter involved is really helping and of course will be able to spend some time with the grandchildren (very good anti stress).

    Have a good day and take care. Hugs  Jules x

  • Good morning Jules,

    So pleased to hear your mother was in responsive mode yesterday. I could feel the happiness this brought you in what you had written. It must be so hard when you have made the effort to visit and she doesn't want to talk so I fully understand how good yesterday made you feel.

    Hope it wasn't too hot for you when you did your shopping/lawn mowing. I washed the car yesterday and nearly melted, (me not the car) it was so hot and humid here. I have a meeting of my local cancer charity tomorow night and another one on Saturday and another one shortly after that so plenty to keep me busy for the next few days. One of my close friends in the woodclub had a black mark on his head which the doctor was quite concerned about but after seeing the specialist at the hospital, he was told it wasn't cancerous. He has just had it removed and double checked it luckily it was nothing to worry about.

    I bet you are really looking forward to your holiday even though you may not be going out much. At least you will be able to do what you want to do and when you want to do it. I am very pleased with my new laptop and have just about got used to the differnt keyboard layout. The photo editing tools are much better than on my old one and have been back through some photos I took a while ago and greatly improved the appearance of them.

    Sending a picture I came across and thought you might like. Best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

                    

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  • Hi Gill,

    Well done on you first full day back at work. I must be nice to gradually get some semblance of normality back in you life after all the visits/treatments etc. You are lucky to have a daughter who is so caring but probably returning some of the love and care you have bestowed on her in the past. Thank you for all you do on this forum; you reply to so many people with kind words and encouragement just like Jules does. A few kind words make all the difference. I am so glad I found this site for I have made the acquaintance of some wonderful people and have leaned heaps since joining over two years ago.

    Glad to also hear your boss is keeping an eye on you and making sure you are coping.

    Take care, best wishes, Brian.

  • Oh Brian

    What a sweet picture - the cats are almost forming a heart shape and just look so content - thank you.

    Am pleased that your friend at the wood club got the all clear but very sensible to have it checked out and dealt with.

    Like you I was pretty hot and bothered once I had completed my chores but happy that they were done and had an iced coffee as a reward!!

    Last day in work today before my break and I am looking forward to being able to please myself (within reason) as to what I do and when I do it!!!  Even my Mum guessed I would be 'off' as I am a creature of habit and have been having the second week of wimbledon as a holiday for many many years (though sometimes have watched the tennis whilst being  away  (usually in open air 'bars' and restaurants when abroad) I usually pick and choose which matches to watch  as there have been some wonderful characters on the circuit over the years.  Am going to face a big problem on Men's Finals Day though as its also the British GP and we both enjoy that - decisions decisions.  Mind you if a better offer comes up I will leave the tv alone and watch on catch up (not the same as watching it live though!!.  Once the children left school our main holiday 'fortnight' was always in September and I have booked out the first week as annual leave (this includes our wedding anniversary) this year so I have something to look forward to later on.

    Well had best sign off and wash up before leaving for the shop.  Take care.  Jules x

    Hope your  brother in law is making steady progress following his op and that you and Mrs B keep well

  • Hi Jules,

    Glad you liked the picture of the two cats, Mrs B loved it too. My youngest grandson went with his parents to my older grandsons new school which he will be starting in September. The parent met the teacher who will be their tutor and after explaining everything to them asked if there were any questions. My youngest put his hand up and asked, "What would you do if someone turns up drunk?".  The whole room full of people feel about laughing, trust him to embarrass his parents.

    On another note while adding a few more quotes yesterday, I came across this article which tickled my wicked sense of humour. It made both me and Mrs B fall about with laughter.

    Take care Jules, hope you and your family have a great weekend, Brian.

              [[ ]]

  • That is priceless Brian, absolutely wonderful.

    Thank you for a good laugh to start the day.

    hugs

    Annabel.

  • Hi Brian

    What a brilliant  little boy he is and wish I could have been there to hear the teacher's response.  Bet his parents wished the floor would open up though.  This reminded me of my own parents' embarrassment having carefully instructed me on what to say at my own 'interview for secondary school' as regards 'tv watched'  Off course when the question came (in those days to test what time you went to bed!!) I forgot all I had been told and replied----------------'the flintstones' and yes my Mum was mortified.  Loved the underwear story too - we have such a wicked sense of humour but very necessary in today's stressful times - nothing like a good 'belly laugh' to lighten the mood.  Jules x