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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jules,

    Sorry to read you got wet yesterday. The comment your hubby made is pretty much what I would have said to Mrs B had she got wet. You are spot on about the grandchildren. One of my owls didn't turn out 100 % so I gave it to my youngest grandson. Straight away, he named it Ollie the Owl and wanted a story about it. I couldn't say no could I???????????? Suspect this is going to become a regular thing for a few weeks. The owl family is growing rapidly as per picture below.

    Glad Hubby had a big smile on his face today and lets hope it stays there too. Do you have to have a licence to be in control of the remote Jules?  Have not done any turning today as it's my day to help/ hinder Mrs B with the housework. Bet you have a mental picture of me now as Mrs Mops.!!!!!!!!!!!

    Have still not been able to talk to dad so have sent a letter to him which at least he can keep.

    Hope you both enjoy you usual Friday night out tonight. You certainly deserve some ME time.

    We only had one clap of thunder yesterday and a couple of showers. Today it is overcast and keeps looking like rain but nothing so far.  Will be taking Mrs B for a ride out next week as I need to visit a timber yard to get some more melamine lacquer as no one stocks it locally. I am nearly out of it at present.

    Anyway, take care Jules, hope you have a relaxing weekend and I will be thinking of you, big hugs, Brian   

    [[ ]]

    Click on picture to enlarge it.

  • Hi Brian

    Sorry for hijacking your post to Jules.

    Love the owls.  I think you are right in that you will have to ask for  a raise.  Not sure who you would ask though.  Think Mrs B might turn you down.

    You were lucky with the weather yesterday.  We had thunder, lightening, torrential rain and hail.  At one point during the hail the cat was sat by the french doors watching the hail when there was a very large clap of thunder.  Cat shot almost straight in the air and I do not think her feet touch the ground until she had reached the hall.

    I did not realise that we women need a licence to operate the remote control.  I have had control of the remote since mid January except occassionally when husband wants to watch something specific.  Mind you since he works nights and sleeps most of the day perhaps there is a reason I have had control of the remote.

    Hope you have a good day.

    Gill

  • Hi Annabel

    Thanks for your kind words/thoughts.  Really sorry to hear that  you not doing so well with your back.  I remember only too well how bad it feels as a few years ago something 'pinged' in mine which resulted in me crawling in agony until I could get upright and then found it virtually impossible to sit for any length of time asI would seize up. Ended up at the docs who prescribed heavy duty painkillers and special exercises but it was a good three months before it felt 'right' and now does not take much to leave me 'achy and stiff' though some of this is now due to mild arthritis.  Of course 'tossing' a 20lb+ 7mth old in the air has its drawbacks but he does give wonderful giggles.  Do take care and with the look of the weather here this morning (sheeting rain) you will be best served resting indoors.(am so relieved I decided to do the weekly shop yesterday after all!!).  Must be a little difficult when you are running the cottages (no doubt full for the half term break) so am thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon.  Sending hugs.  Jules x

  • Hi Brian

    Am loving the 'Family Owls' and  not sure Mrs B will want to part with them when your next 'wood club event' happens so suspect you will have to keep on producing. With the book request for your youngest grandson now that he has 'Ollie' in residence you may have to think about what you make and give him in the future (dinosaur perhaps!!) and plan the story as you are 'woodturning' as if you are not busy enough ha ha.

    Love the idea of a licence for the remote (or pehaps 'shared right of passage' between chairs!!).  I am certainly learning a lot about 'total fishing' and various 'kit builds' on Quest though have never been much of a fan of daytime tv but 'open plan living' means I tend to treat the tv like a radio (listening because its in the same room but not necessarily watching).  Well despite thinking I might have a really lazy morning yesterday I decided (when looking at the weather forecast for today) to go and do the weekly shop.  Looking outside now at sheeting rain so pleased I did!!

    When I got home hubby was back from his 'guided tour' and seemed to have appreciated his visit and was also treated to coffee by the 'top man'.  Quiet pride of  our son's involvement was pretty obvious and certainly gave him something different to do.  He also managed his evening out though very weary on his return and despite 'tuning in to Bond' when we got home (I won a tenner at Bingo so that will pay for next week) was soon sleeping but so good to know that he had been able to go.

    Seems like a restful day will be on the cards today with the weather looking miserable though possibly visitors popping in for a bit later.  Tomorrow we are having dinner with friends which we are really looking forward to.  I am not back to work now until Wednesday and we have hospital check up for hubby on Tuesday (he is experiencing a little more pain so suspect we will be looking at changes to medication again and maybe repeat scans to check on progress/spread).

    Such a shame that the time difference (and no doubt a 'turned off  mobile') has meant you have not been able to talk to Dad but great that he will now have a lovely letter to read from you and you were probably able to put far more down on paper that you would have been able to say on the phone.  Am sure your sister will let you know how well received it was in due time.  Wishing you and Mrs B a happy weekend now that you have had your day being a 'Mr Mop' sidekick - am sure you have now earned a visit to the nut shop.  Sending warm wishes and hugs Jules xx

  • Good morning Jules,

    I bet you are pleased you did the shopping yesterday as the rain is so bad. We had some heavy downpours before six o clock but at the moment the sun is trying to put in an appearance.  Pleased to hear hubby enjoyed his day out and as you say must be proud of his son although can understand him feeling a bit tired.. Nice to have a small win on the bingo as well. I feel you needed a night out after the week you have had. Hope you have a lazy morning today for it doesn't sound like you will get out into your garden much today.

    Our next door neighbours moved out yesterday so wont be getting the daily visit from their cat which we will both miss. Think I may give the woodturning a miss today, otherwise it gets to feeling like a full time job rather than a therapeutic pastime. As you can see, I have learnt how to put speech balloons on my photos, something I have been trying to do for months, I just wasn't saving them in the right format, silly devil. So I can now do my own quotes.

    Glad you like the owl family so here is Mrs Owls reply, see below.

    Take care Jules and will be thinking of you and hubby next Tuesday. Best wishes and big hugs, Brian

    [[ ]]


  • Hi Annabel,

    I hope Jules doesn't mind me replying to you on her thread. I am sorry to read you have a bad back. Its not until you have suffer from this you realize just how painful even simple movements are. So you have my full sympathy. Just take thing easy although I appreciate it's not easy to do when you have a business to run.

    Take care and I send best wishes to you, Hugs Brian.

  • Hi Brian,

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them.

    I think the back is slowly getting better, it's amazing how it slows you down as well.

    Today I found i had to pace myself and have quite a number of rests in between the jobs.

    And whilst resting `I wanted to go to sleep, and of course this was the effect of the pain whilst doing jobs.

    This is an old injury which has been set off again more recently. Will now have to take greater care because of age.

    I do find it hard when I cannot do what I would normally do. HE HO.

    Love your wooden owls Brian.

    Would give them pride of place in our home so I hope Mrs B does. !!!

    You are exceedingly skilled.

    Take care Brian

    Annabel. xx

  • Hi Brian/Annabel

    Just wanted to reassure you that its great to be 'gatecrashed' on my thread as feel that is one of the really good things about the forum community - 'talking'.

    Yesterday was very very quiet and therefore relaxing (though this was because hubby spent around 75% of the day sleeping (probably having put so much effort into 'managing' his Friday outings).  I also received a call from Mum's Care Home so have a confirmed date for a 'team/family' meeting for 3 June and also been notified that they have had a hospital appointment come through (following doc referral) for 4 August to look into various symptoms she has been displaying which may or may not be due to onset of Parkinsons.Good to know they are keeping a close eye on her.  Its sad that most of her agitation at present (she is  now mainly conversing with nods and shakes of head rather than speaking) is because they are 'making her live' and there is every reason to monitor this (she has been regularly assessed by their mental health dept since she went into residential care as she has been since the age of 27).

    Its beautifully sunny in Middlesex this morning and we are off to friends just a few minutes drive away later so more 'relaxing' with maybe the chance of sitting outside (between showers if  necessary).  Lawn is too wet to mow so can get out of that chore for now ha ha!!

    Look after your back Annabel and Brian, am loving the 'caption bubbles' - you have so many talents.  Hugs   Jules xx 

  • Hi Jules,

    After visiting our elderly next door neighbour as usual, she asked me if I could take her and her daughters cameras back with me and put both lots of photos taken of their recent holiday onto a dvd for her. So have spent the later part of the morning and early part of the afternoon doing this for her and have made them into slide shows she can watch on her tv/video player. I have put music, titles and credits on it for her. There is one photo of her on a very up-market mobility scooter which she used while visiting a stately home. So I have added a caption that say, "Look at me on my rocket powered go-cart". She always like's a good laugh.Just as well having me for a neighbour

    Hope you and hubby have a quiet but enjoyable day out at your friends. The sun is now shining brightly by the way. Sorry to hear about your mother but in a way I am not that surprised. None the less however it just one more thing that's of concern to you as if you don't have enough already. It does sound like a good home where your mother is staying. When Mrs B's parent had to go in a home years ago we looked at some where to be honest Jules, I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go to. One the person in charge looked and acted like she was ex gestapo. I took an instant major dislike to her and her attitude to the patients. We walked out half way through the tour it was that bad.

    Anyway I have rambled enough for one day. Will talk again soon, take care hugs, Brian.


  • Hi Gill,

    Hope you are okay as I haven't seen your name crop up on here which is unusual for you respond to so many people.  You made me and Mrs B laugh about your cat and the thunder. Poor thing. Did you see the bit on the telly a few days ago about the cat that went to the rescue of that young boy who was being attacked by a dog.I have even seen a video on you tube where a cat chased a bear of of the garden. Incredible.

    I am not one for watching TV so Mrs B has full control of the remote, only handing it over to me when she goes to bed. Not that ther's much on there i want to watch these day. We have more channels than ever with Freeview but to me there is less I want to watch than when we only had a couple of channels. Is it just me or do other people feel the same.

    Anyway take care, best wishes, Brian.