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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hey Hope

    You let it go girl - its the best way, far better than bottling. Have a good blub (mine often happens when I am writing here and it somehow brings a bit of relief).  So many dates to run through.  My Dad has been gone six years next month and the dates during the year are still special and as hard as it sometimes is I am glad of the memories.  You are not being gloomy just truthful about your emotions which I personally think is better than hiding it away.

    Hubby is quite bright today and stuffing himself with packets of crisps which he has suddenly got the taste back for so seems as though the steroids are helping (he has even acknowledged the fact - now thats progress.)  Even a slight cold does not seem to bother him to much though he did laugh when I suggested a hot toddy!! (he misheard and thought I said 'hot teddy'.

    Sending a big hug and hope you have a pleasant weekend with the family.  I have son and his other half for dinner on Saturday (they are bringing dessert!!) and then hope to have a relaxing Sunday (but always happy if visitors drop in as it gives me an excuse to sit down!!!).  Look after yourself.  Jules xx

  • Thanks Jules,  I'm just feeling a bit werid at the moment.  Glad hubby is doing well and has an appetite - as well as a liking to a hot toddy or even teddy!  Take care.  Hope x

  • Hi Jules,

    Glad to hear steroids are working well and hubbies appetite is improving as a result. It's also good he has not needed to top up recently which must be a relief for both of you. Sorry you you didn't have a win at the bingo but at least you enjoyed you evening out. I was going to stay up on Friday night as on BBC 4 they were showing the Everly Brothers reunion concert from 1983. But I felt so tired I went to bed. But last evening I used BBC I Player and both Mrs B and I thoroughly enjoyed watching the concert. Brought back a lot of good memories.

    My youngest grandson was very cheeky to me over the phone yesterday saying I was over a thousand years old. I told him that if that is true I wouldn't be able to make him up any more stories so he revised things by saying I'm 100 years old. I cant win with him, cheeky little lad.

    I was pleased to hear you were able to have a good conversation with your mother last Tuesday.

    Brother in law is feeling better now he has got things sorted and is now waiting to the the bone specialist. Mrs B is much relieved thank goodness although I know she is still understandably concerned.

    Take care and hope you have a pleasant day. Best wishe to you, your husband and family, Brian.


  • Afternoon Brian

    Glad you are 'nut sharing' with Mrs B. We are also sharing today with 'dunking digestives'.  After a long time hubby has found his taste buds returning on both biscuits and crisps so we have a couple more things to add to the shopping list (though I have to limit myself or will be back in doc's bad books).

    Can understand your wife's continued concerne re her brother but she has you as a 'good source of info and encouragement ' which must be a great comfort both for her and your brother/sister in law.  Fingers crossed now that his treatment plan is properly sorted and his confidence hopefully a little restored this will help him move forward with his battle.

    Hubby has now finished his course of steroids and last night had to resort to top up pain relief (first time since last weekend) and still has horrid cough (but apprently not a chest infection -phew).  Community nurse calling in tomorrow (he is finding this difficult emotionally) but I will be at work so maybe that will make it a little easier for him!  They write up each visit in a folder which is left with us so I will be able to glean some info without him having to talk about it to me if he does not want to = not ideal but its better than it being guesswork on my part. One side effect I have noticed is that he seems to be 'dreaming' more when in light sleep and it often wakes him with a start - he looks scared when he wakes so dont think its 'good dreams' but he as usual does not talk about it much saying only that he remembers the dreams for a short while on waking and then forgets them (I am assuming by choice!).

    We had son and his girlfriend for dinner last night and it was great catching up on all their news.  She bought a lovely homemade cheesecake for dessert and we sat round the table with a glass of red wine and cheeseboard to finish ~(felt like I was back in Bournemouth as I was able to use my new raffle prize (large slate cheeseboard set)).  Healthy eating was a bit on hold if you know what I mean.

    Well almost time to fix lunch (when hubby wakes). Have a peaceful day - sunny here at present -  take care Jules x

  • Hi Jules, Brian, Hope and everyone.

    sorry I haven't been around much over the weekend.

    The family visit was full on but a lovely few days.

    Ava, who is 5 months this week was full of it. It seems she doesn't sleep much in the day anymore, but does sleep through 9-10 hours at night.

    This means the dear little thing needs quite a lot of attention during the day.

    She chats and gurggles like nothing on earth. ( And Brian I made sure I listened when she was chatting away, Took your advice). So funny to listen to.

    She's also a bit of a charmer , everywhere we took her we had people coming up to admire and chat to her.Must be her very red cheeks and toothless grin that reals them in.

    Anyway must stop the Nanna boast and ask you how you all are at the mo.

    Hope you are coping well at the moment.

    Hubby and I went out today in the pure sunshine(almost warm) as the weather is supposed to change from tomorrow, gather we are threatened with snow tomorrow afternoon.

    There was black ice out there this morning when I took the dog out, nearly slipped over, but managed to stay on my feet.

    Well take care of yourselves in this precarios weather.

    Hugs to you all

    Annabel. xx

  • Hi Annabel

    Glad you were able to make the most of the sunshine before the next dose of weather hits.  It has been cold with heavy showers today but as I was working did not get caught out and managed to get home between rainfalls.

    Glad that Nanna had a lovely few days with Ava - time passes so quickly and they change daily with their antics.  Little Zack - 4months - has had a cold (along with my daughter) but is still doing well and they have just finished a baby massage course which he loved. Now she will begin going to Mum and baby groups a couple of times a week just like she did with her eldest.  He is still a little hit and miss going through the night(still having a couple of hourly naps during the day) but getting better and he goes to bed at 7 which is the same time as big bro (handy as they share a room) and does not mind being placed on his play gym mat for around 20 mins at a time whilst daughter does housework round him!  Also has bouncy swing in the doorway  which he goes in for a change.  He is so long now that he is going into 6-9mths clothes. Love this age and the smiles and gurgles are wonderful.

    Hubby has been coping reasonably well with the 'add on as required morphine tablet' and so far only had to take one three times in 10 days.  Community nurse visited today and has decided all is working okay at present and has now left instructions for hubby to ring him when he feel he needs advice/help which is just fine with him.

    My work was very busy today and we are back to normal staffing following major audit so that meant a shift on my own today.Needless to say it gives me plenty of exercise covering the whole department for over 5 hrs but the times passes quickly too..

    Take care and am returning hugs. Chat soon. Jules xx

  • Hi Jules,

    Bet you were pleased the tube strike was called off especially with the bad weather. Hope you didn't get too wet today. Despite all this rain our grass still keeps growing and know its going to be a job to mow it if and when the weather eases off. Our house is built where there used to be a big pond so gardens always take a long time to dry.

    My son and daughter in law have taken my youngest grandson up to London today for a hospital check up/ tests and he is likely to be there at least four hours. So I am going to have to pick up my other grandson from school and then to his house to pick up my granddaughter as they are having tea with us today. Then after tea take them back to their house and am then off to my wood club meeting this evening.So little one will not get his stories today and he will not be pleased with me.

    I cant believe little Zack is now four months old; time fly's by so quick.

    Will talk again soon.Take care Brian

  • Hi Jules,

    How are you?  Glad to read that hubby is coping reasonably well and hasn't had to take too much of the morphine tablets.  Sounds like you are busy at work - hope you're having a relaxing afternoon now.  Take care. Hope x

    Hi Brian,

    Just wanted to say I hope youngest grandson gets on OK at hospital today.  Hope you and Mrs B are well.   Hope x

  • Morning Brian

    Hope you and MrsB  are coping okay in this  next round of awful weather.  Yes,it was a relief not to have to battle on the buses though walking home was a fight in itself  = the wind and rain and bits of tree flying through the air meant I was very pleased to get indoors.

    Hope all went well for your youngest grandson at his hospital appointment and am sure you had a lovely (possibly tiring) time with your other grandchildren yesterday.

    Its my daughter's birthday tomorrow and as its teachers training day off for eldest grandson they are all going out to lunch to celebrate.  We are having them all here plus my sister in law for dinner on Saturday so will catch up on all their news.

    Dry and nippy here this morning so will put an extra body warmer on under my coat as I leave for work in a short while.  Shop is pretty busy just now so the time goes quickly and it helps keep the mind occupied!  Have been a bit naughty with 'comfort biscuit eating' last couple of days so must give myself a shake and get back on the straight and narrow (will buy some more fruit today).

    Have a peaceful day.  Jules xx

  • Morning Hope

    Not so bad, thanks for asking.  A few sleep disturbed nights again and fed up of getting wet (but feel so sorry for those affected by the flooding dont like to complain!!). Hubby in his usual quiet mode as was Mum - it wont be long before I start having conversations with myself as if I am not mad enough already.

    Expect you and your sons will be looking forward to half term (maybe the eldest does not get one - I know my son had a so called reading week at this time of year when he was away at uni) and hope you are not doing too bad  yourself.. Take care  Jules xx