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Continuing the journey

jules54
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Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Hope you didn't work too hard yesterday and that you and hubby have a relaxing time in Bournemouth tomorrow.  Fingers crossed the weather is better for you.  I am a little nervous today as I have a meeting at the hospital with the consultant who was in charge of my Mum.  Won't go into detail but there were some issues when both my Mum and Dad were diagnosed and I wrote a letter a short while ago.  A&E have already replied regarding my Dad admitting that I was correct and that errors were made, which I still fail to understand; but my Mum's consultant wants to meet with me.  People have told me I will make myself feel worse by going over things again, but I just want to highlight things so that hopefully nobody else has to go through what I did.  Anyway wishing you a peaceful weekend.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Hope today flies by at work and all that book shifting doesn't leave you sore!

    Enjoy your pre-weekend pamper tomorrow (hair appt and manicure,)  have a safe trip to Bournemouth and enjoy a fabulous weekend!

    Look forward to hearing about it when you return!

    Love and hugs to you and hubby, Jo xxx

    P.S. Annabel, have PM'd you xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules

    Great news you can still make your weekend away which you truly deserve.  Forgot to ask have you now recovered from your tumble on the stairs.

    Hope hubby gets some relief from the backache he has been experiencing and hopefully the steroids will give him more of an appetite.

    I don't know how you do it Jules and then having to visit your mum and then hold down a job at the same time.

    You are one true superwoman.

    Take care and enjoy your weekend and chat soon

    Mickied

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    It's yet another wet day here today, not raining hard but enough to get you wet and it's quite dark so if I have any typos it's because I am having trouble seeing the keyboard.

    Hope your back is not so bad today; books are deceptively heavy. Don't blame you for not going in for 6.30 a.m. and glad you didn't have the 12 hour shift. I am very impressed with your husbands specialist and pleased you have someone who cares so much. It makes such a difference.

    My youngest grandson was quite upset that he didnt get his story last night. He told his dad to phone me up so I could do one over the telephone for him, cheeky monkey.

    Hope you both have an enjoyable weekend, take care and look forward to talking again soon, Brian.


  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Hi Hope,

    Just read your post to Jules. I think you are doing the right thing by making the hospitals aware of the errors. Too many people seem to be prepared to accept bad treatment which in my humble opinion only makes things worse in the long term. I admire you for for taking action for as you say it may stop it happening again. Yes there is the possibility it may brings things back that you would perhaps sooner like to try and forget but if what you are doing changes the system, it may even make you feel better. For if you had done nothing and had just accepted what had happenned, that in itself could have played on your mind and end up being something you had regrets about in time to come. So well done Hope and as always, if today's meeting does cause you upset, your forum friends are here ready and willing to try and help you, you have only to let us know.

    Best wishes, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Hi Hope

    I haven't spoke to you in ages now.  Just saw your reply to Jules and noticed you have a meeting at the hospital today with your mum's consultant.

    Sending you thoughts of staying strong throughout the meeting.

    Take care and chat soon

    Mickied

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian & Mickied,


    Thank you both so much for thinking of me today.  The meeting went well, and went on for an hour.  The consultant was nice and agreed that the complaints I had made were very valid and that practice needs to change.  He made suggestions for change and asked me what I thought; now he wants me to write a letter to him to clarify what we discussed so he can take it higher.  So I am very glad that I followed my gut feeling and went ahead with the complaint; although I felt a little emotional after I also feel quite proud and that I have done right by my Mum and Dad.  Brian, hope all is good with you ad Mrs B and that your brother-in-law gets on OK with his new consultant.  Mickied, hope all is good with you and that you haven't had too much rain. 

    Jules - sorry for hijacking your thread, hope you have had a good day too.  Hope xx

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi all my lovely buddies. Just a quick message before we get away to thank you all for your kind words once again. With so much going on in your own lives it is very much appreciated to receive such support and understanding.

    Well here to sing the praises once again of the NHS.  Consultant personally contacted GP(as well as faxing!!) and yesterday arranged for hubby to be able to pick up the steroids direct from pharmacy  which he has now started.  He was also called by his GP to drop by yesterday to pick up prescription for the extra pain medication which will be available at pharmacy by mid-day today so we will delay leaving until after lunch.(it would be an added bonus if he can enjoy his food and be in less pain - who knows might manage a dance).  His latest round of  blood tests showed slight improvement to kidney function (they are keeping a close eye as one of the tablets can cause contra-indications when taken alongside new meds so has to repeat bloods in a month in case alternative needed) so all good news for us to take away with us. It's a shame that today's journey looks like being hampered by weather conditions so will need to take it easy but even if the sun doesn't shine outside I aim to make sure that we will have the best time once we arrive and with everything laid on without having to lift a finger will enjoy every single minute of it.  If the sun does show its face it will be the icing on the cake

    Hope you all enjoy peaceful weekends and look after yourselves. Hope to be back to chat next week.  Hugs to all Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Really good news about the meds. Good consultant.!!

    Have a wonderful weekend, take the driving easy, you'll get there.

    Weathers not important, having a lovely time and being with good friends and laughter is.

    Look forward to hearing about it next week.

    Hugs

    Annabel. xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Morning Jules,

    So glad to read the NHS are looking are hubby so well and really hope he is feeling more comfortable.  Hope you enjoyed your trip to Bournemouth and that the weather was kind to you.  It has been raining heavily here but this morning looks bright.  Speak soon.  Hope x

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