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Continuing the journey

jules54
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Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Haven't been on site much for a couple of days as I have been in and out most of the week. Wont be doing any more Christmas shopping as we have done our last shop today. Hope your mother was in brighter mood this week. Mrs B and I will spend Christmas day on our own but our son and family are coming to us on Boxing day, so will need to start taking the vitamin pills for  when we have all three grandchildren here. I have been told I will have to don my story telling hat. Nearly at the end of the chestnut season so have stocked up well.  Brother in law has been told he will have the results of his scan this week, hoping the cancer is contained.

    I agree with what you say about smaller meals but more often for your husband. Since I retired over five years ago, I find I cant eat the amount I used to eat but tend to eat snacks during the day more.

    Hope work has not taken too much out of you this week. Take care, hope you enjoy your weekend, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Hi Hope,

    Just wanting to wish you a peaceful time whilst you are away at this difficult time and hope you are staying somewhere really nice and relaxing.

    Wishing you and your all the best , hugs

    Annabel. xx

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian

    Am taking the time for a sit down now that I am in from work - it was very very busy today so the time went very quickly.  I only have next Monday to do and then have a break until the 30th so will be doing my best to put my feet up on some of the days if I am allowed!!!   Apart from clothes packing everything else is done and prepared so will be away from 3 days over the Christmas with no cooking - bliss -.  Of course we all muck in with serving/clearing/playing/walking dogs etc. Whoever said this was a holiday.

    Really hope your brother in law can get the best news possible and it would be good to have the results before the festivities so that it reduces the worrying for all the family.  My friend is also coping quite well and has a few extra aids to help her within the home plus her youngest son is back from Australia which lifted her spirits.  Was going to pop in yesterday but she was out Christmas shopping - just amazing.  She says she is not going to give in easily and she has my total admiration.

    short season.  Can imagine  you story-telling inbetween bites.  Have a good weekend. We are off to a party (50th wedding anniversary) on Saturday evening all being well though have not bothered to dust off my dancing shoes as I have 2 left feet.  The only down side to social life is that I miss the final of Strictly Come Dancing so will have to watch it on the laptop the next day.

    Take care and all the best to you and the family.  Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to Annabel

    Hi Annabel,

    Thank you for your kind message.  We are away in England for Xmas but off to Europe for a few days for New Year so maybe catch a few rays of sun if we are lucky!  Wishing you a peaceful season too and thanks for all your support.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Don't work too hard Jules, and so glad to hear hubby a bit brighter.  Enjoy your time with your family over the holidays.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Just a short post to say hi and how much I love reading your posts! They leave me feeling exhausted though!

    I hope you have a wonderful break over Christmas and enjoy the festivities with your family. I hope your hubby's mood is lifted a little too. Maybe the combination of family, grandchildren, dogs and a wee dram will be a tonic.

    On another tangent, may I just say that your and Max's posts to James are so heartwarming and supportive! I think he knows how lucky he is to have you two lovely ladies as friends (and Annabel is offering her wise words and nursing experience too) Three wise ladies!

    Sorry to be brief, but current chemo gives me numb fingers! (Thank goodness for spell checker as my banana fingers keep hitting the wrong keys!)  Love and hugs, Jo xxx

  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Hi Hope,

    Just wanted to wish you and your 3 men, a peaceful and restful holiday. I know it will be an emotional and difficult time, but I hope you find some peace during your holiday.

    Take care, Lovely Hope,

    Jo xx

  • Offline in reply to Meerkat@65

    Hi Jo,

    Whats happening with you over the festive period??

    My husband and I are at home , just the two of us, but I am really looking forward to a day or two with no pressure to do anything in particular.

    I might even get some of my hobbies out and things progressed.

    I gather you've been having a little bit of a food fest due to steroids. Hope you'll be able to have whatever you fancy on the day, without upsetting the bowel.

    Well sleep well if you can Jo. Speak soon.

    hugs

    Annabel. xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Ladies,

    Hope you don't mind a shared response.

    Jules, with regard to dancing, I also have two left feet with no co-ordination at all and am like an elephant when dragged on to the dance floor. Pleased to read you only have one more work day left. It will be nice for you to try and find time to put your feet up and have a bit of a rest. Sound like you are going to have a busy time while on holiday but the main thing is to enjoy yourself.   Your friend sounds a remarkable lady and I wish her well. Thanks for all the support you have given me over the past 12 months and more.

    Hope, I wish you a peacefull time over Christmas and know you will have mixed emotions like a lot of us. Going away is  going to help and having your three men around you will also help. I will be thinking of you and wish you all the best. Thank you for your support and kind words over the past few months.

    Annabel. You are yet another lady who gives a lot of support and kind words, both to me and many others. Just want to thank you for that and wish you all the very best for the festive season. Do take care, best wishes to you and your family. A squirrel would love to visit my house and would go mad at the sight of so many nuts. He would leave my house a very happy (and very fat ) squirrel.

    Jo. Glad you liked the quotation regarding children on the other thread.  Sorry to read you had a bit of a down day recently but your sense of humour is still in evidence. We have completed all our shopping now and anything we havent got will have to do without. I cant stand crowded shops, that's one of my pet hates and why me and Mrs B always do our shopping early in the morning..

    To all of you I wish you all the very best and thanks so much for your friendship and support throughout the year.

    I don't drink alcohol, only squashes but will raise a glass to you all, thinking of you all, Brian



  • Offline in reply to Annabel

    Hi lovely friend, Annabel,

    Just like you, we have a quiet Christmas planned for just us two! Plus two cats, hoping to enjoy some Christmas food!

    I took my cue from my last lot of chemo and if it follows the same pattern I maybe a little weary by Christmas Eve (that sounds a bit pessimistic!) so we decided not have visitors this year as we only have one spare bed which my partner sleeps in so that I can snuggle up to my chemo infusor (the added bonus is that it doesn't snore like him!!! ) and another clincher was the fact we only have one loo and my present condition is not wholly conducive to having only one loo available! Without wishing to share too much info, but Annabel, you were a nurse, so you know what I mean!

    You were right about the steroid food fest! How can such innocuous little tablets cause so many weird and varied feelings? From enhanced appetite, to insomnia, mood highs and then lows etc etc! And I'm sure I'm sprouting a beard! That may just be an age thing though haha!

    Thank you for all your lovely messages since I've I joined this forum, I love seeing your little Beagle Avatar pop up (though I see quite a few people have chosen it as their avatar too! It is a beagle isn't it? Dog breeds are not my best subject! But ask me anything on steroids! Haha!)

    Enjoy your Christmas, Annabel and I hope you get a Skype call from little Ava on Christmas Day! Love and hugs to you and your family,

    Jo xxxx

    P.s. what hobbies do you have? Would love to hear more sometime! Xxx

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