Dear Jules,

So sorry to hear your upsetting news about your friends health. There is never a good time for bad news but it always seems worse at this time of year.

Knowing you you will want to be there for your friend even when it comes to your own familys plans.

But do look after yourself Jules won't you. It's understandable that the news is going to affect both you and your husbands moods, and possibly in differing ways.

Your friend sounds a very strong lady who has done brilliantly over all those years at battling this awful disease. I pray she makes it to Christmas as is her wish.

I am glad you've gone out with your daughter tonight, I hope you have fun.

love and hugs

Annabel. xx

Dear Jules , I am so very sorry to hear the news of your good friend , my thoughts and prayers are with you(and your friend).Do take care of yourself , it seems to me that you are the hub of a very busy wheel with a lot resting on you , and I know your way of coping is to be busy but do take care of yourself , you sound to be such an amzing person with a surplus of love and kindness to share xx take care Tonic

Hi Everyone

Sorry for group response but feeling a little jaded today. Just wanted to say a huge thanks for all your supportive words.  This forum continues to be an amazing community to be part of.

I did go out with my daughter last night (my friend is still going out too when she can bless her and is determined to see this Christmas so we will fight alongside her and try and make it happen - its the least we can do considering (if needs be her husband is going to change the date of this Christmas in their home and they have already decorated with Christmas cheer and my friend says with no  more drugs she can enjoy a real drink!!!)).  Her resolve over the many years of this battle has been inspirational and amongst other things she even gained a teaching degree during treatment.   I wish I had half her strength whilst dealing with our own situation.  Hubby has a different character to my friend and perhaps that's why I am struggling when he could still be doing so much whilst he is stable.

The pamper night was all in aid of different charities and we stayed a couple of hours.  My daughter had a mini facial and we both bought a few Christmassy bits and pieces.  It was held in a local social club so we also had drinks and mince pies and then she talked me into having a tarot reading.  Never done that before!!   My daughter went first (she has had readings in the past but was amazed at what she was told this time) and she had pre-warned me to offer no information so I sat with my 'impassive' face and 15 mins later was astounded at how accurate the reading was in relation to my life now (whether the future will hold true who knows - am still somewhat of a sceptic).

Decided after being so good on my healthy eating this last 8 months I deserved a treat this morning whilst in town shopping, so fell victim to a croissant filled with mature cheddar - yummmmmmmmmmm.   Tonight we are out for a Thai meal (first restaurant meal for a while) so hoping hubby can enjoy himself with old friends.

Once again thanks for all being on this forum.  Have a peaceful weekend and hope to chat again soon.  Jules xx

PS 8/12  Had a lovely evening out last night with old group of friends (14 of us in the end!!). Wonderful company and the food was beautiful.  Hubby more at ease than I had seen for a while and think, just for once, he had left his sad thoughts behind.  He is now sleeping in as we have our grandson from around 10 a.m. and then the family here for dinner after they finish their Christmas shop.xx

Hi Jules,

Glad you did go out and that you enjoyed yourself. Hope you are not feeling jaded today and that you enjoy your visit from you grandson and family today.

Our elderly next door neighbour is going away next week for a few days on a turkey and tinsel outing. She told me her digital camera had packed up and asked me where I bought mine from as she wished to buy one to replace it. I told her I would have a look at hers for her. In the end I found it was one of the brand new batteries that was as flat as a pancake when I tried them on my battery tester. So she now has a camera to take with her. I have also given her a DVD slide show I've made up with a lot of photos of cute animals on it which runs for about 22 minutes which she enjoyed watching. Tomorrow afternoon we are taken Mrs B's brother and sister in law out to buy some tree lights as theirs have packed up. Neither of them can drive at the moment (he has the prostate cancer and sister in law has Meniere's disease which means she keeps losing her balance). I know they would do the same for us.

I read that you have suffered a Jules-itus moment with the croissant. I don't feel so bad about my Brianitus now so thanks for writing that Jules. I couldn't go 8 months like you. You must have very strong will power. Our Waitrose has just nearly doubled in size so the risk of more things falling off shelves into our trolley has also doubled much to my wife disgust, I mean the trolley thing not the bigger shop. But they had placed my chestnut at a very low level this week so had to try my powers of levitation to get them into the trolley. This elderly lady looked quite awe-struck as this bag of nuts slowly became air-bourne and lifted up into our trolley. Don't worry Jules, it's just wishful thinking on my part.

Hope you and your husband enjoy today's visit from your family. You are so right about this being an amazing community to be a part of and you are a  big part of it. I think it like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it isn't it. Thank you for all the support you have give me and many others over the past months Jules.

Take care, best wishes to you and your family, Brian,

Hi Brian

Sorry for a bit of delay in responding but for some reason my e-mails are being blocked and I am getting rather frustrated trying to sort it!!  Am trying to keep up to date via browsing the site so hope I do not miss anything important!

Hope your shopping trip with the in-laws went well(I am sure they will have really appreciated the help whilst being unable to drive themselves and I really must sort out our decorationsas we hope to get them up next weekend.  We have a real tree normally so may have to call our son to help me carry it home!

Have to say I really enjoyed my dip back into 'Brianitus' but know for the good of  my cholesterol levels that I need to keep those 'naughty treats' for special occasions (will have another lapse over the Christmas as would not want to be a killjoy).  How annoying that  you are now having to get down lower to your treats at the supermarket (think you may need to have words to explain your predicament).

Busy day with the eldest grandson yesterday, keeping him amused and slept well as a result.  My daughter and family enjoyed having a meal with us after their shopping trip and its always good to see them.  All being well will be going to the school to watch the 'Christmas assembly for his class on Friday (hubby will mind the baby - there is only 2 tickets per family).  He has a couple of lines to say as a narrator and told me what he has to say and seems to have  no nerves at all (think that comes with age!!).  They were due to be going to Wigan next weekend to see son in law's Dad but the family car is not working at the moment (he thankfully has a small company car for work but its no good for transport family especially with all the bits and bobs you need for a baby) so they may  not  be able to go.

Hope you and MrsB are keeping as well as can be and hopefully will chat again soon.  Virtual hugs.Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for asking about Mrs B, who is keeping well at the moment. Talking about the Christmas decorations, Mrs B and I were talking about when we were young and how we used to have to either make or assemble a lot of the Christmas decorations ourselves (remember the strip of gummed paper we used to loop together to hang on the ceiling). We also don't get any Carol singers coming round anymore and I think thats a pity for it used to make it feel more like Christmas. 

When I took my wife brother and his wife shopping yesterday, both of them and my wife were all using walking sticks, and they joked that I was the only fit one. I told them that it's due to my diet of nuts Tesco's had re-stocked on their chestnut so bought some more this morning. Brianitus is still alive, I promise you. The lady on Tesco's checkout said what are you going to do after Christmas when we have sold all of them, so I told her I will have to resort to buying the frozen ones from one of your competitors. Mrs B has told me quite firmly I have to go on a diet in the new year so hope she has found some medication for my Brianitus and if so that it tastes nice??????

Our three grandchildren cant wait for Christmas to come. I expect your grandson is also looking forward to getting a visit from Santa.

I hope your weekly visit to your mother has gone well and she is still in chatty mode and that she also approves of your latest purchases for her. It must be so hard to make conversation when she isn't responsive. When Mrs B's father was in the nursing home, we often had to buy things for him but whatever we got, it was never right for him and it got to the point where we dreaded him asking.

Anyway I am rambling on again, please forgive me. Take care, best wishes, Brian.

Hi Brian

Yes I do remember the homemade paper chains and my daughter still does them with our grandson to add to the pre-bought decorations that are now well and truly up in their flat.  Unfortunately their trip to see her husband's folks has had to be postponed as his car has given up and is off to the scrapyard tomorrow (not worth the cost of the repairs).  He has a small Skoda as a company car and as her car is also on its last legs they cannot chance a long journey.  Plans are afoot to scrap hers in the New Year and get a family car which they can both use (now know where any Christmas money they are lucky enough to get will be spent!!).

Popped down to see Mum and sadly we are back in the doldrums with no interest in what is going on and backtracking on all the positivity of the last couple of weeks.  Still do not have to take the new top back to the shops - its now hanging in her wardrobe with the trousers.  I think a lot of what is going on in her mind  just now is due to the time of year - I have never known her enjoy Christmas and she just wants it done with.  We will of course visit just prior to being away for the festivitiies and leave her presents ready for 'Santa' to deliver (the staff set aside a 'present room' and everyone has a delivery on the 25th).  I will also take some shortbread down for the staff as they all enjoy biscuits with their coffee when they have breaks.  I was lucky to get a glimpse of the 'happy mum' for a while but its very hard going making conversation when there is no response.  Luckily I took down the latest baby photos for her to look at and the staff all gathered round too.  I have also sent a few cards on her behalf to some of her older friends as I am sure they will appreciate the contact (they all know her well so will understand the current situation).

Glad you all managed  to get out (walking sticks too) and also that your wife is keeping well - long may that continue.  We are all plodding along much the same and I am just trying to get the energy to start the present wrapping (ours and Mums). Prefer to do it in one go and then pack it ready to travel!  Now that my daughter will only have a small car at Christmas we will be taking some of their 'baby luggage requirements' in ours and then transporting stuff back again. Just as well we have an estate and live close by (and spending Christmas at the same place ha ha).  Work is getting busier which certainly makes the time pass quickly.

Today I had a message from my friend who still has some fight in her against this awful disease.  She wants a little get-together so am going round on Thursday evening for drinks and nibbles and a gossip (am praying this wont be the last time we can do this).  Think I will be taking lots of deep breaths - just feel I need to be strong for her and the family as her bravery deserves so much more.

Now its me thats rambling - something else that is catching.  Take care and look after yourself.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Hope you are OK.  Was sorry to read that your Mum seems to be back in the doldrums after a few positive weeks.  I expect you know her well though and that she'll hopefully come around to be positive again.  Hope you enjoy your evening with your friend tomorrow, she sounds incredibly brave and it is so sad.

I remember the homemade paper chains too.  Have lovely memories of making them as a child and hanging them all around Mum and Dads house.   Take care.  Hope x

Hi Hope,

Thanks for your kind thoughts.  Sadly I am pretty used to Mum's ups and downs and she really has no interest in this time of year (even when well).  She has always disliked Christmas and this probably has a bearing on her current spell of the 'blues' as she calls them.  The doctors are monitoring her medication just in case it needs topping up but generally it makes little difference and she is at least calm (just not interested).  The carehome has a wonderful array of activities over the next couple of weeks so if she wants to join in she can.    My parents were like chalk and cheese with Dad being the social animal and Mum keeping to herself and she always says I somehow managed to get more of Dad's genes!!!  Anyway did not have to take the jumper back to the shops (she still plans to dress for Christmas).

Look after yourself Hope and despite the sadness in your heart I do hope you can enjoy getting away on holiday for some well deserved relaxation with your husband and the boys.  Virtual hugs are sent to you all.  Jules xx