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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

Parents
  • Morning Jules,

    How are you?  I've read on other sites that you've been feeling a bit low lately and have noticed that you haven't been on your own site of late.  I hope you are OK and that your grandson's party on Saturday will help to cheer you up.  I think this time of the year has a big impact on all of us dealing with our problems, but don't forget we are all here for support.  Take care.  Hope xx

  • Hi Hope,

    All stable at this end (sorry seem to be posting all over the place and even had to apologise just now for missing a post (on my own thread too!!) from Brian).  Shows what a tizz I have been in recently.  Things just seem to catch up with me from time to time but with the help of my forum buddies and my workmates am out the other side at present. Stress at work is always high at this time of year and I am struggling a bit when things go pear-shaped.  Its like as I have no control of what is going on with the cancer journey we are on other everyday things are affecting me more and its taken me a bit by surprise.  Socially we have only one free weekend now prior to Christmas which is great as we will be catching up with friends, old and new and also trying to do Mum's bidding (she suddenly taking a bit of interest in day to day life whichis lovely but somewhat adding to the stress of shopping!!)

    Do take care of yourself, taking those little steps on the good days and being kind to yourself in the meantime.  You are being so supportive to everyone here and no doubt at home too.  Glad to read that your eldest's exams went okay. He has a long learning road ahead but sounds as though he is really up for it.

    Must to now as phone is ringing ready to summon me to the station.  Take care and chat again soon.  Hugs Jules x

  • Hi Jules,

    Have been following your thread, and just wanted to say I hope you have a fantastic time today with your friend! 

    Like Hope, I could detect the low ebb in your life . . . You have so much going on with hubby, grandchildren, your mum, work and the social events that seem to pop up at this time of year, no wonder you are 'in a tizz' as you said to Hope!

    I think you're doing well to know which day of the week it is!! (I have to ask my other half when I wake up! )

    Enjoy today . . . try and take a step back from everything and have a bit of 'me' time (and don't go feeling selfish about doing so!) A few hours with your friend will hopefully be a tonic (maybe a sneaky little Gin could be added!   )

    Love and hugs, lovely Jules, xxx

    p.s. Love and hugs to you too,  Hope, xxx

  • Hi Jules,

    Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.  Totally know where you're coming from when you say the everyday things get to us while we are on this journey, I feel the same.  Hopefully your socialising will help you relax, it is always good to meet up with friends and family.  Take care.  Hope xx

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  • Hi Jules,

    Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.  Totally know where you're coming from when you say the everyday things get to us while we are on this journey, I feel the same.  Hopefully your socialising will help you relax, it is always good to meet up with friends and family.  Take care.  Hope xx

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