This discussion has been locked.
You can no longer post new replies to this discussion. If you have a question you can start a new discussion

Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

Parents
  • Morning Jules,

    Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

    I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

    The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

  • Hi Hope

    Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

    I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

    Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

    When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

    Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

    Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

  • Gald she's home now Jules it's often better for them to be in their own environment, much less stress and fretting. My daughter was also put on the iron tablets .

    Interesting I too hate cooking these days it's just a hassle, but I make the effort for others, husband included!!! ,lol.

    Hope you have a fun weekend, you are going to be even busier for the next few weeks.

    Speak soon

    Annabel. xx

  • Hi Jules, Meerkat & Annabel,

    Thanks for all your good wishes.  I can't believe I still feel bad as I usually shake these things off quickly, perhaps I'm just run down.  Hope you are all doing OK, and Jules you make sure you avoid the bugs so you can spend time with your new grandson and look after your daughter.  Take care everyone.  Hope x

  • Hi Jo

    My daughter so pleased to be in her own comfortable surroundings.  We safely delivered our rocking chair yesterday afternoon (her hubby and I managing to get it up the stairs to their flat). First person to sit in it?  my hubby (never bothered with it at home) though as its wooden was a little hard on his bot!!!  Of course there is now a cushion on it and my eldest grandson thinks its great!!  We stayed for just over an hour and the little 'un slept all through the photo sessions!!  He has been very good so far and even did a five hour sleep during the night.  Hubby was on night duty to help my daughter regain some strength (she looking much better and lots of smiles now) and apparently the baby likes motorbikes already (on the tv during the night!!!). We left just as the midwife was visiting and my daughter is already planning her 'out and about plans' for next week. though knows not to rush things

    It is lovely for my hubby to have something good to focus on as his pain has been 'breaking through' again the last few days and he always dreads what that will mean at the next check up (last week in October).  I know he is worried they will  have to increase his medication as this would probably mean no more driving  and the mention of public transport leaves him in a very black mood!!  Following your comment to Hope I suppose I could point out that he could have a larger scotch(his oncologist made the mistake of telling him he could eat and drink what he likes - think she should have added 'within reason' but dont suppose it matters much now). Bless him he only has a tipple on a Friday Night, neither of us being big drinkers - still have bottles in the cupboard from past Christmases.

    Well looks as though we will be cossetted inside today - its very wet and miserable outside.  I was going to go the the Farmers Market and Artisan Craft Show (once a month locally) but getting drenched does not appeal!!!  Have a good day and chat again soon.  Jules xx

  • Morning Hope

    Just a quick post to say hope you are feeling a little better today.  These bugs are such a nuisance and as Jo says working in a school always means you are more at risk with the kids spreading all the germs around.  Sitting here listening to a storm raging outside and there was I planning to walk to our monthly Farmers Market and Artisan Craft Fair!!  Well unless there is a dry spell before 2pm think I will give it a mess as do not fancy being drenched!!!  Hope you letting your menfolk spoil you.  Adding to the hot toddy can thoroughly recommend honey and lemon and putting your feet up with a good book!!  Take care and chat again soon.  Jules xx

  • Hi, Jules xxonly just seen your post ....CONGRATULATIONS x such lovely news the birth of a new baby x all good wishes to you and your family x Tonic

  • Good morning Jules,

    So pleased to hear your daughter is now home and feeling better. My wife was also kept in hospital longer than she wanted after the birth of our son. She doesn't make a good patient but just like your daughter as soon as she got home the smiles returned. Your husband must, like you be feeling so proud of little Zack. Don't know what is is about babies but they have this knack of lifting everyone's spirits as others have said. I know your husband doesn't like talking about his cancer and this must be hard for you but you ladies seem to have a knack of knowing how your men are feeling anyway. My wife has this ability to read me like a book and nothing much escapes her. She even know what I am going to do or say often before I know my self.

    Sorry I didn't reply yesterday. I was a bit silly; although I still have this cold (over a week now) I went out to my garage and planned up the oak shelf and skirting's that I took off when I put the new porch floor down and as it was an electric planner, the dust didn't do me any good at all and I got a severe reprimand from Mrs B. I also sorted the box which I thought contained the oil for the floor which was given to me a few years ago and I found it's only a floor cleaning kit. So I will have to but whatever I chose to put on the floor. Then yesterday evening, feeling rather frustrated I hadn't been able to sample my chestnuts, I did roast some of them which also didn't help and once more also got a roasting myself from Mrs B.

    The weather has cleared up here now Jules so hope you are able to get to go to your farmers market / craft fair as I seem to recall you saying you like looking around events like that. I hope you manage to keep free of colds and also hope you enjoy your time off with your family. Just don't go overdoing it for you never seem to stop working. Take care, Brian.

  • Morning Jules,

    I hope the weather has cleared up enough for you to get to the 2 markets and enjoy.

    I missed one of the local farmers markets yesterday as had to go and make sure my poorly parents have everything they need for the next wek whilst they get better.

    My husband is also suffering and I am trying to persuade him to stay in bed as there is not much he can do whilst he's like he is , but to no availe. He's on the computer s we speak.

    ( I really just wanted him out of the way whist I get the house clean and tidy)LOL.

    I love the name Zack of your little grandson, although I would say it's unusual I bet it's back in popularity again. !!

    have a good day

    Annabelxx.

  • Morning Brian,

    I am sorry to hear you are suffering with this virus that seems to be sweeping far and wide in the community.

    I have to say you made me laugh with your tales to Jules of all your attempts to do things yesterday.

    Isn't it always the way when you think your fit enough to start doing things again only to find nothing goes right.!!!!!

    I have this image in my mind of Mrs B with a bubble coming out of her mouth with some choice words for you in your attempts in the garage. 

    As for the nuts I hope you feel well enough soon to enjoy some of them and keep your strength up with them.

    all the best

    Annabel.

  • Thank you so much Tonic.  Its lovely to have something to celebrate and he is a real cutie (but then I am a bit biased).

    Hope all is well with you and the family.  Jules xx

  • Hi Brian

    I see the temptation of your nuts was just too much for you and you have suffered the consequences - no doubt resulting in little ticking off (hope you enjoyed them at the time though) .  There seems to be quite a lot of bugs going round, just the time of year I think.  Probably need a spell of 'cold weather' to kill off the germs - amazing we still have not needed the heating on and at the moment the patio doors are open and the sun is shining!!  As soon as the thunderstorm passed I was out of the door and have just returned from a 2hr walk which included popping round the farmers market and a visit to the surrounding park - lovely autumnal colours now so took a few pictures.  My 'cheese-man' was in his regular pitch so came home having had a few 'tasters' and now have a piece of chedder infused with ginger ready for a homemade ploughmans lunch (also got some homemade chutney) - not what the doctor would order but my treat for today.

    Hubby spending the time between tv and laptop and has just had neighbours cat arrive for his lunchtime petting session. Both creatures of habit.

    Do hope you are soon feeling better and that you are relaxing a bit more today to give yourself a chance to recover (and save yourself another ear-bashing!!).

    Last day at work for me tomorrow for a couple of weeks - so looking forward to having a change of pace (and being appreciated for the effort I put in!!!!).  I even have a children's birthday party to attend as my daughter's extra pair of hands next weekend (gotta love that!!).

    Anyway do take care and hope we can chat again soon.  jules xxx

Reply
  • Hi Brian

    I see the temptation of your nuts was just too much for you and you have suffered the consequences - no doubt resulting in little ticking off (hope you enjoyed them at the time though) .  There seems to be quite a lot of bugs going round, just the time of year I think.  Probably need a spell of 'cold weather' to kill off the germs - amazing we still have not needed the heating on and at the moment the patio doors are open and the sun is shining!!  As soon as the thunderstorm passed I was out of the door and have just returned from a 2hr walk which included popping round the farmers market and a visit to the surrounding park - lovely autumnal colours now so took a few pictures.  My 'cheese-man' was in his regular pitch so came home having had a few 'tasters' and now have a piece of chedder infused with ginger ready for a homemade ploughmans lunch (also got some homemade chutney) - not what the doctor would order but my treat for today.

    Hubby spending the time between tv and laptop and has just had neighbours cat arrive for his lunchtime petting session. Both creatures of habit.

    Do hope you are soon feeling better and that you are relaxing a bit more today to give yourself a chance to recover (and save yourself another ear-bashing!!).

    Last day at work for me tomorrow for a couple of weeks - so looking forward to having a change of pace (and being appreciated for the effort I put in!!!!).  I even have a children's birthday party to attend as my daughter's extra pair of hands next weekend (gotta love that!!).

    Anyway do take care and hope we can chat again soon.  jules xxx

Children
No Data