This discussion has been locked.
You can no longer post new replies to this discussion. If you have a question you can start a new discussion

Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

Parents
  • Morning Jules,

    Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

    I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

    The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

  • Hi Hope

    Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

    I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

    Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

    When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

    Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

    Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

  • Thanks Brian,

    All chuffed to bits and once they are settled back at home and are ready for visitors we will pop in.  No rush as would rather my daughter rests when possible and plenty of time to play catch up. Have a feeling it will be the 'older brother' who will get my attention first as he is full of it all and very excited to tell everyone about it.  Jules xx

  •        HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!!            

    What fantastic news, Jules! So glad your daughter and baby Zack are well. What a big baby! Lovely name too.

    It's great that your eldest grandson is so excited and enthusiastic about his new baby brother. I loved it when the children in school wanted to do 'Show and Tell' about their new siblings! (Quite a regular occurrence in a primary school!)

    Enjoy lots of cuddles with both your grandsons and we look forward to hearing lots of updates over the weeks about how everyone is doing.

    Take care, hugs to you all, Jo xxx

  • Congratulations & welcome to the world Zack!  Oh I bet you are so pleased and glad to hear it has put a smile back on hubby's face.  Bet your grandson is proud to have a baby brother too.  I expect you may be rather busy over the weekend, but look forward to hearing all about baby when you get a chance. Hope x

  • Thanks so much Jo.  As you can imagine it has lifted everyone's spirits.  Just as well she did not hang on to him any longer. He was 14oz bigger than his brother!!!!  According to the midwife he was one in a million (born with waters intact!!).

    Hope you are doing okay and will chat again soon.  I see a spell of nappy shopping ahead!!!  Take care Jules xx

  • Thanks Hope,  I am back to work tomorrow (have already rung them today to arrange leave from the 23rd (when son in law has to return to work). It will mean I can do the housework for my daughter and school runs if necessary (we are so lucky that they are only 20mins walk away!!).  My son and his girlfriend have half term week as holiday and the plan is to treat 'big brother' to a day out (providing he wants to go,of course).  Suspect all will be bedlam for a bit but if my daughter is anything like I was she will just fit Zack's routine around his older brother - she can't wait to show him off to the school Mums - there will be a new addition to the morning coffee club!!

    Hope you are doing okay - not doubt work keeping you busy.  chat again soon.  Jules xx

  • Well CONGRATULATIONS GRANDMA. !!!!!

    Wishing all your family the best of happy times and lots of celebratory moments.

    So glad to hear all went well . So happy for you all.

    Best wishes

    Annabel.xx

  • Thanks Annabel

    Just had a call to say daughter being kept in overnight due to heavy blood loss.  Under observation but in good spirits.  Son in law just bought our grandson home for later than usual bedtime but will go back up hospital after he has taken him to school in the morning.  Hopefully  they will be allowed home tomorrow if all settles down ok.  Chat again soon. Jules xx

  • Congratulations Grandma! What lovely news!

    From all the Cancer Chat team

  • Thank you- I feel like I have gained a whole new virtual family and its wonderful to share the good news especially as I have received so much support here over the past year.  Jules x

  • Congratulations on the new grand baby! Somehow babies and children tend to really lift our spirits and I think they give us hope for a better future. I know you will really enjoy both grandchildren and they will make you smile even on the days when you may not feel like smiling. They do worm their way right into your heart without even trying. Have fun!

    Lorraine  

Reply
  • Congratulations on the new grand baby! Somehow babies and children tend to really lift our spirits and I think they give us hope for a better future. I know you will really enjoy both grandchildren and they will make you smile even on the days when you may not feel like smiling. They do worm their way right into your heart without even trying. Have fun!

    Lorraine  

Children
  • Thanks Lorraine for your kind words.  If things have settled down with my daughter I am hoping she will be allowed home later today. Suspect if will depend on whether the canula can be taken out and they have been able to slow the bleeding(up to last night they did not feel she warranted a transfusion). I amgoing into work today to book few days off once our son in law goes back to work. This will give her an extra pair of hands through the half term week and also that's when hubby's next check up is due, too providing the manager agrees.

    How are you keeping?

    Take care Jules x