Hi Hope

No baby news yet but would like to think it will be within the next couple of weeks as due date is 11th!!! Its new territory for my daughter as her firstborn was 8 days early.  She is doing Ok and still out and about and doing quite a bit of walking, thankfully keeping generally well.  My grandson still enjoying his new class and is now planning who will come to his birthday (not until the end of November!!)

Hubby is his usual quiet self (just I notice it more now that he's at home all the time).  This is quite strange as before his illness was diagnosed he travelled a lot with his work and could be away for  quite a few of the jobs the company had (they are off to China to do a job soon) and I know he is really missing this side of his life. To be honest I cannot do or say anything to help as this is just met with silence and I keep myself busy finding things around the house to do. Strange I am the restless one as he seems intent on doing nothing but watching TV when he is awake.  Not sure what is going on as his consultant has told him to keep up gentle exercise as this will help and at the moment he still has the capacity to do so though we know this will eventually not be the case. Unfortunately I saw his Dad be this way so it must be in the genes!!   Am hoping that the new baby may help but he shows little interest other than when my daughter visits and I sometimes feel like I am surplus to requirements (then I feel silly and sad to be thinking this way).  I would like to be making the most of our time together, as we dont know how long this will be but the Cancer seems to have given us different outlooks and I cannot break through to the inner man. Hey ho, think he may go to his old workplace today so  may see a smile later.  He is also going fishing with our son tomorrow.  The family are trying their best and no sure what e)lse we should do.

So pleased your eldest is enjoying life at Uni and it must be lovely that he is in regular touch.  See the footie bug is very big in your family too so I  hope their team won last night and they enjoyed themselves.

One thing I have learnt in the past 2 years is that you cannot necessarily control your emotions and though it may not be the norm for our characters to feel this way, it is something we have to go through, to come to terms with the 'new' life we are facing.  I had similar experience to you when clearing Mum's flat as there were lots of correspondence that I have never seen to/from/about my late Dad that she had kept and I had never seen before. (I have it stored at my place now as she does not show any interest in wanting 'stuff from her past' and will have to decide what to do with it when her time comes).  Its a bit like going through a family history lesson and certainly made me see some things in a different light! Probably learnt a bit about myself too (not as hard as I thought thats for sure).  How are you getting on with the counselling? do hope its helping to talk it through both with her and with the forum - not sure where I would  be without the latter.

Well have been eating my breakfast whilst chatting here and had best go do the washing up (it will still be here if I dont as apparently thats not a man's work!!) before heading out to work.  Remember to take care of yourself Hope and chat again soon.  Virtual hugs to you and the family. Jules x

Hi Jules,

Hope you are OK.  I felt sad reading about how much your hubby has changed, this disease is so cruel and I really pray we can find a cure oneday.  It must be so difficult for you, I understand how you want to make the most of your time together and it must be frustrating that you can't seem to break through. When my Mum was diagnosed everybody told me to spend quality tiime with her, but the truth was that although I spent lots of time with her there was no quality time left.  It was like the minute she was diagnosed she went rapidly downhill even though she didn't know her diagnosis.  We did take her out a few times in a wheelchair and she did smile, but I know she felt so ill and she was never the same person again.  Hopefully the new baby will lift your hubby's spirits, and what about his trip to work today, how did it go? Maybe the fishing trip will also do him good weather permitting.  You always seem so upbeat Jules, I don't know how you manage it, I'm sure it is very hard for you at times.

I'm still seeing my counsellor who has helped me a lot but think I may be finishing this week.  It is my choice as I can go for as long as I want, but I think now it is just time and I have to just go with my emotions.  If I do stop she has told me I can contact her again anytime if I feel I need help which is great, and of course I have this wonderful forum too.  Anyway have a good evening.  Chat again soon.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Thanks for your response and did not mean to make you feel sad (you have enough sadness in your own story without being affected by my ramblings).  I had never really though of myself as upbeat.  I just seem to have to get on with things, deal with it and move on.  I have to accept I cannot change my man (have  not been able to in 36 years of marriage so why now!!!) and the way he is dealing with his illness.  Also his sister and brother are not conversationalists and I think perhaps this is something they definitely inherited from their Dad (got on really well with my inlaws but they did not believe in idle chatter!!) .  Hubby did  not go into work on Wednesday in the end as  the 'boss' was out for the day and there seemed little point just going for the drive!!  so I still came home to his washing up.  Today I fid the housework before I left for work and am now sitting down for the afternoon as he has gone fishing with our son and his friend so have a little 'me time' and thought I would put my feet up - rest of the housework can wait until tomorrow when I am not at work.

Our new grandchild is keeping us waiting (though due date tomorrow so who knows!!!)  My son in law is of the opinion it will arrive on Sunday and disrupt the last day of Touring Car Championship (he is an avid tv follower and has been a couple of times to watch it live). Midwife today said if he has not made an appearance by the time her next appointment comes round they will  be talking about inducing her (at least you can make definite plans if this is the outcome).   Luckily she is keeping well and still out and about - says the exercise keeps her occupied but think she is enjoying a few hours of peace during the day whilst our grandson is at school.

Glad that the counselling has been good for you and only you can really decide when you have the right feeling to finish it.  As you say you can go back again if you want to so its there as a back up plan.

Bet you looking forward to seeing your eldest at the weekend and no doubt planning favourite meal (my son came home during uni holidays unless he was working (mainly during first year to boost funds) and was always asked what he wanted to eat.  The response was always roast (still is even though  he cooks his own now and his yorkshires are to die for!!)  and he was very good at learning to cook and budget whilst he was away from home (a few of them would take it in turns and the house share was a great success in teaching them all how to shop and budget.  Him and his now girlfriend take it in turns to cook depending on what shift he is working so all in all it works very well.

Well I had best  think about what I am going to do for tonights meal so I can get going when hubby returns home (probably be rather chilly and ready for something hot!!)

Take care and have a peaceful weekend.  Virtual hugs and chat again soon.  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Don't ever worry about making me feel sad, I am always glad to listen to you, you have been such a good support to me. Today is a happier day for me, don't know why that just seems to be how it is at the moment, one minute happy the next the pain and tears come back!  I am going with the flow as my counsellor says that is what we need to do to heal.  It is great that you can chat on this site especially if your family are not the greatest conversationalists.  I bet there will be plenty of conversation with the new one arrives though, how exciting, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and wondering!  I guess we will all have to "watch this space".  Hope hubby enjoyed his fishing, I remember going fishing many years ago and found it strangely relaxing!  Yes I'm looking forward to seeing eldest at the weekend, I sent him off with a student cook book and a fair bit of food, hopefullly he will learn to cook and budget quickly as your son did.  Have a good weekend and speak soon.  Hope x  PS Let us know soon as new addition arrives!

Hi Jules and Hope!

Hope it's ok to double up on a post. I haven't chatted to either of you recently, but I'm following both your threads closely, watching for 'Baby' news and 'Med school' updates!

See you're both offering support to so many 'virtuals'  out there, old and new!

Hope you both have a peaceful weekend and the windy weather that's been forecast, misses your parts of the country!

Take care, both of you, hugs to you and your families,

Jo xxx

Hi Meerkat,

Lovely to hear from you, how are you doing now?  Hope you have been able to enjoy some pampering while you are recuperating!  Hope x

Jules, wishing you a peaceful nights sleep - unless of course you get the "baby call".  Hope x

Morning Jules,

Just wondering how things are?  I take it no baby news yet?  You must be in tender hooks now.  Hope x

Morning Hope

Yep we are all just ploddig along. Hubby seems to be more tired of late but this is probably more due to inactivity as he still just sits around all day despite being told that there is no reason he cannot go for walks.  With worklife being over he just shows no interest but maybe one day he will adjust and I will get a smile again.  Work has  been very busy as we continue to get ready for Christmas but as today is my day off I took our grandson to school as my daughter had upset stomach and understandably not sleeping too well now.  We are going to get him from school later and have him at ours for dinner to give her a rest!  Other than that all is well.  Hope you keeping okay and that your eldest enjoyed his weekend at home. Take care Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Hope you are well and that daughter of yours is doing okay.

I am sure she is feeling like having this baby now as she must be due.

How is your grandson doing with school and looking forward to the baby still?

I am sure your daughter will appreciate the time and space you are giving her today. So nice to be able to help them, and feel useful ourselves.

I bet your grandson looks foward to coming to grans for tea.

Agghh, you've mentioned that Christmas word, I wonder when one gets the time to organise Christmas. He ho.

Well I had better get off and do some more work.
Take care

Annabel. xx