Hi Hope

Thank you for your words of support as always.  How have you been coping lately yourself and how is being back to work going.  The funeral is tomorrow so I have booked a half day off to attend.

We didn't see much of him but in the end he is still my father's brother.

I know all about office work Hope because I work in a solicitors office and have done so for the last 21 years.  Some probates can take some time to be sorted and you are completely right about the forms that have to be completed.  I take it the law firm has requested the original will from the other firm.  I know from experience here in N. Ireland that if someone requests a document relating to another person a certain procedure has to be followed through before the document can be released.  It has all to do with the new Data Protection Scheme but let's hope you don't have much longer to wait.

Take care and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Jules

Yes the funeral is tomorrow so I have booked a half day off to attend and then back to work.  Sometimes you wonder how you cope Jules but somehow we always manage to.

Everyone used to say this uncle was my father's double whereby I could never see the resemblance but maybe when I go to the house this evening I may notice how much they looked alike.

He was 71 a year older than my father.  Thank you for the invitation to "bend" someone's ear mainly yours because you have been a tower of strength to others on this forum me included.

Jules the other night I had a dream about my birth aunt.  I saw her clearly and I asked if everything was OK.  She told me the reason she hadn't been in touch was because her two nieces had only had two babies and no mention of her husband or daughter.  I see her other daughter still posts on FB as I was checking her profile for any clues about her sister but nothing.

It will fly in Jules for the rest of you but not for your poor daughter.  Glad to see your little grandson settled into school.  Sometimes they surprise you.  Our Sarah was off school on Monday for teacher training day and she will be off again at the end of this month for Halloween.

How is retirement going for your hubby.  I know you said he always enjoyed his work but had cut it down to a few days a week.  You are right about waiting until the time arrives when you are needed much more at home and let's hope it is a long time off Jules.  My father-in-law used to always perk up too whenever he saw my kids and used to keep the both of them going.

Our Sarah still mentions that she misses her granda every so often and sometimes it sets me off too.  I can get so emotional sometimes Jules it is unbelievable.

We had our Sarah's 6th birthday at the weekend and invited three of her friends to a kids play centre.  The food was awful and the kids didn't eat it but enjoyed the rest of the day then they all went back to my house and up to her room.  About half an hour later she came down and said she wanted to put on her pyjamas because she had saw enough of her friends and wanted them to go home.

She wouldn't even go with her dad to drop them off home.  About an hour later she was fast asleep.

Well nothing else to report for now.  Take care and take it easy

Mickied

Hi Mickied, Thanks for replying to me individually.  I really hope the funeral goes as best as it can tomorrow, will be thinking of you

As for me I am coping the best I can, I think I'm doing OK but as you know emotions creep up on us out of nowhere at any time!  I guess I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel the way I do after losing both parents, especially so quickly and close together.  The paperwork seems to really get to me, I think it is because it is something out of my control and I am a very "in control" sort of person.  Yes it is the law firm I'm using that has requested the original Will from the other firm; thanks for your advice speaking from experience of working at a solicitors, I just have to leave things in their capable hands and let things take their course - easier said than done for somebody as impatient as me!  For some reason I think I'll feel better when all the estate is sorted out legally but in truth I probably won't feel a lot different

Anyway best wishes for tomorrow and let us know how it goes.  Hope x

Hi Hope

No need to thank me.  I really feel for you losing your parents in such a short space of time.  The same happened to my father's brother and his wife.  He died in April that year and his wife died in July 3 months apart.  I remember someone saying to his daughters they didn't get much time to grieve for their father and then to lose their mother.

You don't need to talk about being impatient Hope.  I must be the worst impatient person known.  Sometimes I wish I was more laid back like the rest of my family and let things take their course.

You are right about feeling you are coping well one moment and then the next you feel you are about to have a nervous breakdown.

A few weeks ago I was going through my telephone calls in work and came across the date my father-in-law died and I got a bit emotional as that date brought it all back what happened.

Dreading tomorrow but these things have to be done.

Take care and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Hope

I am sure your eldest will enjoy being in Halls and its where many friendships can be made.  My son did Halls first year and then moved into a house share.   He also held a part time job for some of the time he was away.  He came home during the holidays and we visited on his 21st!! but other than that he looked after himself extremely well, coming home able to cook and budget which would never have happened so well at home!! (and I did not get involved in washing etc as he was too far away and they had all amenities on campus.)  I think my daughter (older) missed him a bit but also relished not being constantly badgered when she had her friends in!!  He came home at the end of his three years very well rounded and stayed home until he was able to move into a flat share (about 6 months later).  My daughter moved out at aged 21 to live with her then boyfriend (now husband).Both have stayed close by and with modern technology its a lot easier these days.  In fact I used to joke that Iheard more from the children than I did from my husband when he was away working.

Yes work very busy and never enough hands but its only part time.  At least we get to see whats on offer and can do our own Christmas shopping.  I am late this year - normally start in the summer months and as a family we have quite a low budget per adult, preferring to spend Christmas Day together (usually 8-10 of us) relaxing and sharing the chores and food bill.  Has worked this way for many years and our children have carried it on, taking it in turns to visit respective parents/aunt and uncle on both sides and sometime enjoying their own.  This year we are at my husband's sister for 3 days  (she loves to cook!!) and no doubt it will be mayhem with the addition of the grandchildren and 2 dogs but would not miss is it for the world.

Dont wear yourself out this weekend but do enjoy the family time.  Take care. Jules

Hi Jules,

Can't bellieve how much time has passed again since I last wrote.  I will write a longer reply soon, but just wanted to say thank you as always for your kind words, they really do always make me feel better and help me think about things differently.

Dad and I have said we will bth need to be more open with each other about how we are feeling, and not hold back because we are worried about upsetting the other one.  My brother is not such a 'talker' but I know he would happily listen to both of us if we needed it.

I've been thinking about your daughter as well, and the imminent birth of her new child, and your new grandchild, and hoping all goes well there.  Do let us know the news!

LIke I say, just a short message for now as work is calling, but I just wanted to get in touch,

Wishing you all the best,

Catherine x

Morning Jules,

Just thought I'd quickly log on and say hello (although now logged on I've started to reply to others as well - this site is addictive!).  Hope you and your family are doing OK?  I take it no news on the new addition just yet?  As you know I'm in for a busy weekend moving eldest to halls tomorrow - guess he'll only need to move half his stuff as he'll be home most weekends.  Anyway exciting times for him, a little emotional for me but I've been living on emotional times all year so nothing new!  Have a good weekend and catch up soon.  Hope x

MICKIED - Just want to say I hope the funeral went as best it could yesterday.  Thinking of you.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Always nice to hear from you and do relate to your comments about being on the forum.  Somehow its like its become my security blanket - I have been here over a year now and don't know how I would have coped without coming to chat.  Offering support just seems so natural when  have had so much from others. Not having a 'chatty' other half (anyway he is still snoring at present) means I find relief in being able to 'chat type' though funnily enough I have never signed up to Facebook (sure I would know even more about my children's lives if I did!!!).

My daughter is still playing the waiting game though keeping well which is the main thing.  Every time the phone rings we wonder if we are about to 'go into action' in having our grandson (who is like a cat on hot bricks he is so excited about getting a brother before his birthday) whilst his Mum and Dad go to the hospital.  Mind you hope she has an easier time than last time (18hr labour!!). Quite handy for her having her 'nearly 5yr old' as he is very much like his Dad and loves to help her do the housework!!  Maybe I will borrow him anyway.

Sure the emotions are running high for you this weekend but another wonderful goal in how well you are supporting your eldest (probably emotional for him too!!). Certainly will give you weekends to look forward to when he pops home (even if it is with the washing ha ha). Spreading the wings is something we encourage all their lives as we bring them up but when it happens there is often a lump in the throat.

Look after yourself. Jules xx

Hi Catherine

Thanks for your kind words. As always support works both ways which is why you, like so many others on the forum, both give and receive comfort from the words that flow.  I am pleased that you and your Dad can now begin the journey of 'talking openly'.  In  both your heads you really know that you are there for each other and whether its spoken out loud or not love has a way of getting through. Worrying about a lone parent is something I have been doing for over 5 years which now that Mum is in care, seems to give me some respite from the 'worrying' side because  know she is not alone (even though her mental illness throws us some rocky moments as she still wishes she could join Dad).  I went to visit her yesterday and filled her in with the family news for the last week and had to deal with the comment ' dont you wish you were dead so you did not have to face what you have at home' - referring to my hubby of course!!!  Think the shock must have shown on my face but  I took time to reply and then calmly said (inner turmoil was something else), to me life is precious and I do not wish to have it taken away just yet!!!  Its so sad that her mind thinks this way as though she is lacking mobility her physical health is not too bad at present.  Hey ho, something I have little control over (seems a recurrent phrase in my head recently).

Strange its very quiet here at the moment (hubby still asleep) and I am sitting with the laptop listening to the birds in the garden and have scented candles calming my mood.  Reality will no doubt when I get on with the housework though have already done the ironing (getting up early has its bonuses).

Have a peaceful weekend. virtual hugs to  you and the family.  Jules xx