Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

Hopewells - I am  sorry to hear about both your Mum and your little brother, although good news that he is on the mend, and am sorry you are going through all this at such a young age.  I wish you well with all that lies ahead.  I take on board what you say about feeling lucky for the time I have had with my Mum, but that doesn't necessarily make what she is going through any easier to deal with - with things like this, it's probably best not to try and compare who is luckier than who, as when you are going through it, I'm sure it's just as hard for all of us for many different reasons and in many different ways.  Thank you for your advice and your prayers and for sharing your story.

Mickied - thanks also for your reply, you are absolutely right that the only way to deal with this is to live one day at a time, and I absolutely have to focus on doing that.  But you are right that it comes down to the kind of person you are, and just because something like this happens, you can't suddently change the way you feel or react to things.  I wish you all the strength to get through this to, and please stay in touch as  I feel there are some similarities in the way we are feeling and coping.

Brian - a massive thanks to you again, you write so well and manage to say so many of the right things.  Thank you for your wishes.  I am feeling better this week, and planning a few more trips to spend time with Mum  I just want to until we are given some more indication fo what the future holds, and without sounding morbid, would never want to regret not spending time with her - she keeps feeling guilty about us travelling to see her, so I am having a job convincing her that we do it because we want to!  All the very best to you and please stay in touch.

Catherine x

Hi Catherine

As they say life can be so cruel sometimes and it can be very hard to try and get through each day as it comes.  How is your mum keeping and how are you?

I kept your mum in my prayers and discovered last week that a young baby who undergone a heart operation survived and is on the mend so sometimes there is someone listening.

Thank you for the invitation to stay in touch which I promise I will do.

Take care

Mickied

Hi again Mickied,

Thanks so much for asking after us - we are ok, Mum is doing well and is still coping ok with the treatment, she has had a few side effects and is picking up a few coughs and colds where her immune system is weakened, but the docs are being supportive and have helped with most things.  As for me, I do seem to have got better at this 'one day at a time' thing we spoke about!  I've realised there is no point specualting on the future, because we don't know what it holds (for any of us actually!)  I'm still a bit up and down, and for example this morning, was speaking to a friend in New Zealand, who I don't get to talk to very often - I was talking to her about Mum and ended up in floods of tears.  But sometimes it's good to let it all out, and I am better at keeping a check on my emotions now.

Thank you also for your prayers for my mum - and as you say, you do hear of stories where they work.

How are you doing yourself?

Thanks again for the reply, and take care,

Catherine x

Hi Catherine

I am glad to hear your mum is keeping OK and the professionals are keeping an eye on her.  You are right Catherine about not speculating on the future as no-one knows what is in store for them.

I have been very weepy too all weekend.  Seems to be everytime I thought of something I could feel myself filing up.  Even listening to a song the other day had me feeling weepy and then I was OK again.

I am a bit annoyed I won't get to spend Mother's Day with my mum as we have to go to a Christening and stay overnight but my mother-in-law will be there along with her daughter while I won't get to see mine.  I know some people may think that is petty of me but I am not happy about this arrangement.  I would hate to think of her spending it on her own.

I still have your mum in my prayers.

Take care and talk again

Mickied

Hi mickied,

Thanks for your reply, and sorry for delay getting back to you.

How are you - you said you had been quite down over the weekend when you wrote, so really hope you are feeling a bit brighter now.  I do know what you mean, about how little things set you off - I am generally keeping on top of things, but every so often (Sundays are always bad!) I have a bad day, and the slightest thing sets me off.  I find tiredness is often the cause, as definitely don't sleep well most of the time.

I don't think your feelings about Mother's Day are petty at all - it is an important day and natural that you would want to be with her.  I guess it is one of those compromises we have to make, especially when married and there are extra demands on you - but it is hard to see other people being with their mums and you not being with yours.  My brother takes the view though that Mother's Day is actually just another day, and in fact you could be with and spoil your mum any day of the year, which isn't a bad way to look at it!

We are going to my in laws for the Easter break this year - we will see my Mum and Dad on the way up (they live about half way to my in laws house!) and I am worried that I won't want to leave and go on to be with my husband's parents when we could stay and have all those extra days with mine.  It is just one of those silly things about wanting to be with them as much as possible, but we do not see that much of my in laws so know we have to spend time with them too.  It's just harder than normal this year.

Thanks again for staying in touch and keeping mum in your prayers, it is very much appreciated.

Take care, Catherine x

Hi Catherine

There is no need to apologise so you have to stay with the inlaws too.  You sound very close to your parents Catherine a bit like myself and you like to spend some time with them.  I usually spend time with my mum on a Sunday.  We go to the shops to get some groceries and then to the cemetery to leave some flowers for my father.  My father-in-law is also buried in the same cemetery but my husband refuses to visit his grave but has no problem visiting my fathers.

I like what your brother said and I going to act on that but I only have this weekend to do something.  I will get some flowers delivered and some chocolates - dark chocolate is her favourite.

Have you any plans yourself for Mother's Day?  Your inlaws will understand you want to spend more time with your mum and so will your husband.  It just can't be helped.

Thanks for asking still feeling bit down over the weekend I guess tiredness had a lot to do with it I wasn't sleeping too well over the last week or so.  Kept waking up during the night and then couldn't get back to sleep and then up early for work.

Still keeping your mum in my prayers.

Take care

Mickied

Hello everyone.  It's been a while since I was on here but a lot has happened in that time.  Mum was going through her chemo cycle, but had a bit of a blip one week when she was told she could not have her next lot because her blood count was not as it needed to be.  I had actually gone up to stay so could be with her for her treatment that week, and whilst there Mum told me that the oncologist had asked her to go back for a scan earlier than expected, as her bloods were showing that her tumour count was still high.  Mum went for the scan, and the results came back to say that the chemo had not done anything at all, and the tumour had grown ever so slightly, as had the spots on her lung.

Not the news we wanted, but perhaps the news we had been preparing for.  Mum has been given the option of a second, even more aggressive course of chemo, but has been advised that this is unlikely to have significant effects, especially as the first has not done anything to shrink the tumour.  With this news, Mum has immediately decided to stop treatment.  Obviously, we are all trying to be supportive of her decision, but I cannot shake off some niggling doubts.  The first is that can only one, relatively short course of treatment be indicative of what further treatments might do?  And even more so, if the tumours only grew by a very small amount in 3 months, does that not suggest that the chemo was doing something?

I am so unsure whether to raise these questions with Mum - I don't want to seem dismissive of her decision, and equally don't want to seem like I am bullying her to go through more treatment.  I know that I am just trying to buy more time with her, so does that make me selfish?  And ultimately, am I living in false hope that the treatment will suddenly start to have the effect we hoped it would from the outset?  I just don't know.  Mum's view is that she just wants her old life back for as long as she can have it, but my worry is that with no treatment, that may be reduced even more than having treatment and coping with the side effects.

Thanks to anyone who reads this and has any advice to offer xx

Hi mickied - sorry again for not replying sooner, I was away with my parents for a long break and work has been crazy.  How are you now, and how did your Mother's day work out in the end, did you manage to do something for your mum beforehand?  I hope it all worked out.

Our Mother's Day was not so good in the end - Mum had a bad day the day before, so come Mother's Day we were all a bit over tired and emotional.  My daughter was quite unwell over that weekend as well, so we were all worried about her and looking after her kind of took over being with Mum.  The best laid plans and all that I suppose! We did manage to cook a family meal, and sort some details for a short holiday we are going to take with mum and dad soon.

Do let me know how things are and thinking of you,

Catherine x

Hi Catherine,

Firstly let me say, you are not being selfish at all. I am not a doctor but chemo like any medication, often takes time for its affects to show up and start shrinking the tumour.  So to me as a non medical person the fact that the tumour has only increased a little means that had your mother not had the treatment it may well have grown a lot more. I don't know if you have read the post by Sofia, her chemo didn't seem to be working at first and stopped treatment much like your mother. But she restarted them and now it is working so it might well work the same for your mother.

At the same time, I can understand your mothers reluctance to continue her treatment as it does detract from the quality of life. My own opinion is I feel that you should talk about this with your mother. I know it's a very difficult thing and I do understand what you say when you write that you don't want to feel you are bullying her or trying to force her to do things she doesn't want to do. I feel sure you will make the right decision for both of you.

Sending best wishes to both you and your mother, Brian

Hi Catherine

Have been sorry to read that your Mum's chemo does not appear to have worked and there are very many different reasons(and cancers) where it does not do the trick unfortunately.  I can only look at this from our personal perspective so here goes. My husband has incurable cancer of the lung membranes (diagnosed Feb 12). Had pain relief till October 2012 when after discussions with consultant oncologist he was given the option of a course of chemo to try and hold the cancer back for a while.  He grabbed the opportunity as you can only have this treatment whilst body in reasonable good health!  He had first treatment (bad side effects) second treatment delayed due to blood count problems but went ahead two weeks later (was very ill). More discussions and then had third session (very ill again despite an increase in other drugs to try and control these).  We were half way through proposed treatment (during which he lost 2stone) and he had no quality of life being unable to do much at all because of the side effects.  HE had a scan and it showed a very tiny change but we all sat round a table with his medical/social support team (so grateful for their straightforward and sensible approach) and were advised that his body was being so ravaged by the chemotherapy that it was likely to do more harm than good if he continued treatment and though the decision was ultimately his their advice was to cease now and have a chance of some good times and let his body recover.  This was just before Christmas 2012 and now he is on slow release pain killers, has regained most of the lost weight, can eat and does 2 days a week part time (he is 62 next month) and though we have no idea how long he may or may not have, he is totally at ease with his decision because he does not feel he is suffering. We are going on a short break with the family in April to Sherwood Forest, he cant walk far without being breathless but can still drive and enjoy the change of scene and time with out children and their partners and our 4 yr old grandson so this is the positive side of our lives.

Please dont call yourself selfish. You only want what is best for your Mum and thats what we all want for our loved ones.  If she has had all the facts and is comfortable and thus happy with her decision (you dont reach these decisions easily and its not about giving up but giving yourself a chance to have some good times whilst you still can), I hope that she will find your love and support invaluable and I know from how you write that you will be there when it matters to both of you.  I do sincerely wish you all the very best during this difficult journey. Sadly there are no easy answers (I only wish there were) and hope you dont mind my responding.  Best regards Jules54

Hi Catherine

There is no need to feel sorry for not replying sooner.  Just read about your mum.  I don't think you are selfish at all Catherine in wanting to give your mum the best chance of continuing with her treatment.

I know they said the first cycle of treatment wasn't successful and could a second cyle of chemo help her.  What does her oncologist think about this second course of treatment does he feel it would buy your mum more time.  I don't think there is a definite answer to this one Catherine but I hope and pray that your mum makes the right decision even if it is one you will have to respect her wishes.

Sorry to hear you weren't well over Mother's Day like myself and the rest of the house.  We all came down with the flu and I still have it.  It is very hard to shake off.

Thinking about your and your mum.  You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care

Mickied

Hello Jules54 - thank you as always for taking the time to reply, and sharing more about your story.  Your husband sounds like a wonderful and courageous man, and it seems like he is doing exactly what my Mum is hoping to do - accepting his condition but getting on with life as best he can.  Not that you haven't all been through some ordeals along the way, but your message suggests he is at ease with his decision, and I can only guess that you must take comfort from that as well, especially as he is not suffering.  Great news that he has bounced back so well, and is able to do and enjoy the things you speak about.  One of the hardest things about cancer (and many other illnesses I guess) is that the stuff that's supposed to make you better can actually make things worse - it's hard to get your head around that, and the decision always has to be about weighing up whether the side effects of the treatment are worse than the illness itself, which is in many cases is a guessing game, especially as none of us know how the illness will progress and how quickly...

Your are absolutely right to say that taking these decisions is not about giving up, but is about making the most of the time left, and I completely respect that.  I also respect that it is only a decision that can fully be made by the person suffering from the disease, yes of course we will have feelings and opinions, but ultimately it is not up to us. You say about Mum having all the facts and being comfortable with her decision - I guess I have to reassure myself that this is the case, and if it is then move on and accept things.

Thank you again for all your words of advice and comfort.  I often read your messages on here to others, and it's good to follow your story as I pick up lots of little ideas and ways to think about things differently, which all helps.  I wish you and your husband and family all the very best, and hope you have a lovely family break in April.

Regards, Catherine

Hello Jules54 - thank you as always for taking the time to reply, and sharing more about your story.  Your husband sounds like a wonderful and courageous man, and it seems like he is doing exactly what my Mum is hoping to do - accepting his condition but getting on with life as best he can.  Not that you haven't all been through some ordeals along the way, but your message suggests he is at ease with his decision, and I can only guess that you must take comfort from that as well, especially as he is not suffering.  Great news that he has bounced back so well, and is able to do and enjoy the things you speak about.  One of the hardest things about cancer (and many other illnesses I guess) is that the stuff that's supposed to make you better can actually make things worse - it's hard to get your head around that, and the decision always has to be about weighing up whether the side effects of the treatment are worse than the illness itself, which is in many cases is a guessing game, especially as none of us know how the illness will progress and how quickly...

Your are absolutely right to say that taking these decisions is not about giving up, but is about making the most of the time left, and I completely respect that.  I also respect that it is only a decision that can fully be made by the person suffering from the disease, yes of course we will have feelings and opinions, but ultimately it is not up to us. You say about Mum having all the facts and being comfortable with her decision - I guess I have to reassure myself that this is the case, and if it is then move on and accept things.

Thank you again for all your words of advice and comfort.  I often read your messages on here to others, and it's good to follow your story as I pick up lots of little ideas and ways to think about things differently, which all helps.  I wish you and your husband and family all the very best, and hope you have a lovely family break in April.

Regards, Catherine

Thanks for your response Catherine. Its such a minefield of information out there isn't it.  I came to this site originally as I found I was very frustrated (never mind terified) that my hubby did not want to talk about things and I really was not coping too great with my own feelings which at the time I felt was selfish. Got told off by such a lovely group of people who helped me through my feelings as it gave me an outlet to express myself without upsetting those near and dear to me. My hubby now knows that I chat to people here and like you along the way I have picked up hints and tips. There are so many here in a lot worse situation and I admire them enormously.  I am typing this as my hubby enjoys an afternoon nap and I have the attitude that if he feels okay with his decision I have no right to try to change that (however much I long to wave that magic wand and make things different). We are on a path and no doubt along the way there will be diversions as there always are in life in general. Hell, I am along for the ride and after 36 years of marriage dont plan on giving in just yet. Just hoping the good genes battle a little longer with those baddies.  Wishing you and the family a happy weekend. Take care Jules

Hi Jules - loved your last reply, especially the bit about being along for the ride!  You are right, and my brother is coping the same way - after all the precious years we get with our loved ones, we just have to keep enjoying those in spite of everything life throws at us!  Who knows what will happen to any of us and when?!

Like you, I joined here as need to talk about things in a way that is different to the males in my family (hubby, dad and brother).  It's not that they are not happy to talk, and are wholly supportive, but just have a different way of coping.  One of the hardest things about my mum's illness is that I could always talk to her in a way that I couldn't to anyone else, and yet I can't always talk to her about this as I need to, as don't want to upset her. One of the cruel ironies of going through something like this I guess, and is nothing compared to the way I feel when I think about the day I won't be able to talk to her at all (although plan to always keep talking to her even if she can't directly answer me!)

But the fact that you and others have always taken the time to read my posts, reply and offer so many comforting words means so much and as you say, is an outlet to get all those feelings out without the fear of upsetting others touched by what you are going through.  So a big thank you again.

Take care, wish you husband all the best,

Catherine

Hi Catherine,

           Just wanted to say how touching your messages have been and in particular I could empathise about talking to females in the family being very important but that you can't totally open up to your mum at the moment as you don't want to upset her.That's a real irony of the situation isn't it. The trouble is does your Mum need the chance to open up to you. The female in my family I need for real chats is my daughter, but I don't like to have such chats on the phone so I have to save them for when they come up to Cumbria and have them then. It's my birthday soon and both my children and there other halfs are coming up to celebrate with me so I am really looking forward to that.

           When I was diagnosed with cancer just before christmas I found so many ironies it was untrue. as you say we have to make the most of what precious time we have together because none of us know what's around the corner for us.  I do hope you get to chat with your Mum even if you start off with small inconsequential chats but giving both of you the opportunity to open up if  the situation allows.

            Take care and look after yourself.  Annabel.

Hello Annabel - thanks so much for reading my story, and for getting in touch.  Always lovely to know there are people who relate to your feelings and understand what you are going through.

I know what you mean about chats by phone, you always feel against the clock and it is never the same as face to face.  I hope you get good opportunities to see and talk to your daughter in person.  I think my mum can open up as she needs to , but actually quite often will ask us to change the subject after a while.  I know she is scared about what is happening, so this is partly a self-defence thing for her, but we speak about things enough that I think she is comfortable doing so.  Am seeing her for a couple of days this weekend, and we will be talking about what she has decided to do in terms of future treatment, not going to be easy for any of us but we wil all support her.

How are things going for you - you mention you received your diagnosis just before Christmas, which must have been a terrible shock.  I hope things are going ok for you?

Well, thanks again for getting in touch and please take care of yourself,

Catherine x

Hello All,

Forgive me for the long and rambling message to follow - am feeling pretty tired and emotional today, so just need to get a few of the thoughts flying round my head down in writing...

The last week has been tough - we had a couple of days with mum and dad before Easter, and it was hard to leave them as I knew it would be.  But we had promised to go and see my in laws, and it was a nice weekend with them.  But so hard to leave Mum, she was wiped out just from a couple of days with us, and I came away with this horrible image of her in  my mind, being a shadow of her former self.  And this was made all the more upsetting as she knows this and hates it too.

I saw my parents briefly after Easter, they had been staying with my brother and stopped here on the way home.  My mum looked even more tired and was in pain from her back and legs, which had been stopping her sleeping well.  We spoke about our forthcoming holiday, and mum said she didn't think she would be able to go, but still wanted us (as in me, my husband and daughter) to go.  I said we wouldn't want to go without them, as would miss them not being there and would rather have the time with them in a different way.  I wanted to avoid an argument, but she really couldn't understand what I was saying and insisted we go, saying she would be even more upset if we didn't.  It was left at that, as I absolutely was not going to argue with her.

I rang my parents yesterday and it was awful - Dad answered and when he heard my voice, he just broke down.  I was terrified, as could not establish for some time whether something specific had happened.  Mum has apparently been really suffering this week - wiped out tired, in pain, not sleeping and breathless and energy less.  I feel so useless being so far away, and just don't know what to do or think. I think it just hit dad really hard as was a bit of a harsh reminder of what is happening and what lies ahead.  Mum has decided to go ahead with a very aggressive course of treatment, and I think we are all afraid how she will react, how much she will suffer and whether it will do any good anyway.

My mind is in turmoil today - the holiday is not important to me, but I'm afraid of upsetting mum if we don't go, I know if we go I will regret it as would regret not spending the time with her. And I'm worried about saying this to her as don't want it to come across that I know we only have limited time left to spend with her.  And how can I help more with day to day care for her, we live 3 hours away, work are understanding but only to a point, and anyway, it just seems that being with us is too much for mum as leaves her so tired.  My mum feels my daughter should be my priority, and of course I do not want to do anything that detracts from my care for her, but it just seems like maybe mum needs care even more at the moment.  I want to keep everyone happy, but don't want to do things I know I will regret in order to keep the peace.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this rant.

Best wishes to everyone out there,

Catherine x

Hi Catherine,

You have no need to apologise about rambling or ranting, for this site is the ideal place to do that. I'm often guilty of rambling anyway. 

One of the things I have found about cancer is it turns our lives upside down and causes us great problems regarding making the right choices. It sounds like you have one of those problems right now and whichever choice you make, you may feel guilty or that you have been talked into making a choice you are not happy making. You are in such a difficult situation and I do feel for you.

To know that your dear mother is suffering and getting weaker and that it's upsetting you dad so much must be very painful for you even more so as you don't live close by.     I can tell by what you have written it is taking a big toll on you too Catherine, and you do have to look after yourself too. I hate the way cancer plays so much havoc with our emotions. You have a very delicate balancing act to try and keep the peace and keep everyone happy as you have said.

Please take care, Thinking of you Brian

Hi  Catherine,

I know how difficult that 'holiday question' is and the inner turmoil in brings. Going back just over five years my Dad had planned and paid for a holiday for the whole family to enjoy knowing he only had months at most (prostate/lung cancer). We agreed to go because it would be his last holiday. 3 days before departure he told us he and Mum would not be coming but he insisted (just like your Mum) that he wanted to have the memory of us going away and enjoying ourselves because normal life must continue for those who can manage it. I too was devasted at this thought but we talked and it became apparent it would upset him more if we did not go. We went and I hated every minute of it though the rest of the family rallied round and we did our best. 5 days later I returned to see my Dad and he was eager to hear all about it and how had we enjoyed ourselves.  I was truthful, said the place/hotel etc was lovely and I thanked him for sending us on holiday but I spent all the time worrying about him back at home.  He understood what I was saying but our holiday photos gave him such pleasure in his final weeks that I realised the holiday was not just for  us  but for him too.  Its so hard when you love someone  to be apart and all families are different but in the end I was grateful to my Dad for being so open, letting me continue with my life which to him was far more important as he had lived his as he wanted to and wanted the same for me.

I hate the cancer journey (now doing it with my hubby) but my Dad's outlook on life has left its mark and though my husband is terminal we dont know how long he has  and so we carry on as normal as possible, visiting friends when we want to and having them to us when we can manage it.  Hubby tires easily and some visits are shorter than others. We have to be guided by his feelings as he know how he feels. I still have my nights out (though I am always at the end of the phone).

Brian's right its so hard being a watcher and it takes its toll on us all. Come and rant whenever you need to. You have to unload somewhere and better on the forum than getting upset when you see your Mum.  My hubby tried the aggressive route of treatment (saying he would give anything a go to lengthen his quality of life) and it was never a cure option but we hope he will have longer with us in better health. He is on slow release pain relief and suffers breathlessness when he walks or tackles the stairs but  he knows what he wants and no doubt will give me orders when the time comes.

Please take care of yourself. We all know we cant be in two places at once as much as that would solve so many problems.  Thinking of you during this difficult journey as one of the many going through hell. virtual hugs being sent your way.

Hi Catherine

Sorry I am only getting back to you today after reading your message.  I truly hope that this new course of treatment is a success for your mum Catherine.  I am still praying for her every night so hopefully someone is listening to me.

In relation to the holiday I am afraid that is one decision you have to make yourself.  Do you go but if you are anything like me you wouldn't even enjoy it but everyone is different.

It sounds like Catherine your mum is trying to prepare you for when she is no longer here pointing out to you that your daughter is your main priority.

I remember my uncle doing the same before my granny died.  He was telling my mum that she had to put us first as her family now as she spent her life looking after my granny as she was the youngest of the family.  I can feel myself filling up writing this Catherine and God only knows what is going through your mind at the minute.

Don't you think for one minute you are ranting you are just being honest with the people who know what you are going through.

Take care and thinking about you.

Mickied

Hi All, Brian, Jules and Mickied in particular,and thank you all so much for your kind replies.

Jules, thanks for sharing the story of your Dad and the holiday, but so sorry to hear you have been so touched by cancer already, as well as now going through it with your husband.  Your words about the holiday have been really helpful (see below) .  You are so right that you just have to carry on as normal every day that you can, and it always sounds like your husband has reached a good place mentally which I hope gives you peace of mind as well.

We've had a pretty tough week again, but after much talking and heartache, we have now decided to go ahead with the holiday.  The compromise is that I am up with mum and dad at the moment, and we are going to take some extra time off work after the holiday to come and spend a long weekend with them over the bank holiday.  As you said with your Dad Jules, it became apparent that Mum would be more upset if we didn't go.  I'm still not sure, but I am trying to look on it as time with my husband and daughter as well, and there is never quite enough of that in amongst work and everything else.

Mickied - I think you are right, that Mum is trying to make sure the 3 of us stay strong as a family, partly because it eases her mind to think of us being happy and settled, but also as you say preparation for when she is no longer here to look after her little girl...!  Thank you so much for your continued prayers, it's really feeling at the moment like we need them more than ever.

Brian - thank you as well for getting in touch, you are right that this is taking quite a toll on me - I am not sleeping at all well, especially the last few nights, so I know I need to get on top of that.  I had a long chat with mum last Friday, which was the day she met her Macmillan nurse - it was so weird, in some ways I felt so much better knowing that someone so caring and capable is looking after Mum, but in some ways it was the one thing that really brought home to me what is happening.  I am just pleased to be here with mum today and tomorrow - it is hard as she has deteriorated so much since I saw her just over 2 weeks ago, but we are really hoping that the new treatment, hard as it is, will improve some of her symptoms.  Keeping everything crossed.

Thank you again to all of you, and thinking of you all,

Catherine x

Hi Catherine,

Thanks for updating us. Hope you are soon able to get to sleep better as lack of sleep has an accumulative effect. But I am so glad you have been able to have a good talk to your mother. It is so hard  to see someone we love slowly getting worse as I know all to well with my own mother. I do hope the treatment works for your mother and she doesn't have many side effects. Please take care, sending best wishes to you and all your family, Brian.