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How do i keep cheerful

Camelia24
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My husband has stage 4 bowel and liver cancer. He has had chemo, surgery and radiotherapy. He is 74 and I am 70. He needs to have two major surgeries in the near future. He is physically well and still working part time. He’s very upbeat and positive but I am struggling as he wants me to be happly and jolly all the time. He mocked me in front of his consultant because I cried in one of his appointments and she made a joke of it too.I feel like I am under constant pressure to laugh and joke around about his cancer when I feel overwhelmed. I already suffer with depression and am having treatment for it but this has been going on for almost 2 years and I am exhausted trying to keep up a happy jokey front. Is there something wrong with me and how can I manage my feelings as he says I’m not helping him.

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  • Hello Camelia

    There is nothing wrong with you, feeling the way you do is normal. Illness like cancer brings lots of emotions and loved ones suffer just as much as those who are Ill. Crying is a good way to release those pent up emotions. You should have gotten a hug and not belittled at the consultant appointment. People deal with their cancer in different ways for older men like your husband and me, just stoicly getting on with life is normal. I hope that you can overcome the extra stress that is adding to the depression you suffer. Being open and talking to your husband, friends, relatives and those on this forum, who will relate to your situation is a good place to start.

    Ed

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  • Hello Camelia

    There is nothing wrong with you, feeling the way you do is normal. Illness like cancer brings lots of emotions and loved ones suffer just as much as those who are Ill. Crying is a good way to release those pent up emotions. You should have gotten a hug and not belittled at the consultant appointment. People deal with their cancer in different ways for older men like your husband and me, just stoicly getting on with life is normal. I hope that you can overcome the extra stress that is adding to the depression you suffer. Being open and talking to your husband, friends, relatives and those on this forum, who will relate to your situation is a good place to start.

    Ed

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