Hi new here  so just after some advice. My husband was diagnosed with breast cancer just last week so all new and lots of different feelings but the main one is anger and being a bit *** of if truth be told.Why a few things really. Firstly I don't like his consultant a young keen eager lady, when we were introduced I was behind her and the last to be introduced she turned to look at me and said "And who do we have here" felt like I was an after thought and a spare part. She ran through things very quickly after giving him an examination and sent him for a scan right away telling him they might do a biopsy right away and if they don't I will. When husband went in for a scan I didn't go in but they did a biopsy right away with the Dr? another doctor this time male telling him he had done himself a favour coming in when he did so almost telling him right away something was wrong. My husband didn't tell me this until about 40 mins into our hour plus wait in the waiting room, and only after I asked him about the biopsy. When we got back into consulting room I already knew it was going to be bad news how because from where I was sat in waiting room I could see two more consulting rooms people were being put in there with door open and said consultant and a nurse just went in left the door open obviously told them everything was ok and then left less than 90 secs. Other people were taken through the doors and back into the original consulting rooms and were a long time coming out, you have to go back out through the waiting room to get out and believe me you could tell who had got bad news. We were put in room two chairs facing one so knew what was coming and were made to wait a few minutes. This consultant breezed in like she was in a race told him it was cancer obviously not the news you were expecting etc. Then proceeded to rattle through very quickly what would happen next two week wait for biopsy, discuss you at next MDT meeting on Tuesday had to find out what that meant asking a retired nurse friend. She then proceeded to stand up mention the word mastectomy you will need a mastectomy I will see you in clinic in the future and left. An absolute whirlwind it felt like. We were left with a nurse very nice with an appointment in 2 weeks for results but it might get cancelled don't worry if it does! She wrote down the name of an assigned nurse on this appointment card with a phone number but can't read them properly. Now comes the crunch, my husband is the most quiet polite and laid back man, so obviously he is in shock but he will not want to rock the boat whatever they say or suggest he will go along with it, I on the other hand will speak up and ask questions demand answers. I am worried when we see the nurses in 2 weeks I will take over the appointment because otherwise he will just sit there and nod but then will the staff think I am rude or arrogant there was a lot of "your in charge" to my husband. It felt to me she was excited the consultant to have a man to operate on. Few more things my husband has the wait and see attitude wont tell our two daughters abroad about it yet wait for results our middle daughter in this country I had to tell I needed to tell someone and have a cry. Eldest daughter in Australia works as a radiographer so would be a good asset to have on our side. She rand today and it was so hard not to slip up as I was talking about my health scares in last two weeks, severe allergic reaction to new thyroid medicine and how they keep prescribing same medicine but in different doses she told me so much good information about what to do and feel we both would benefit from her knowledge. I obviously respect my husband wishes but told him how hard it was to navigate that phone call so being stressed form the news I am also stressed from keeping the secret. He has not told anyone apart from his dog walking friend. I have told my neighbour the retired nurse as I needed someone to tell and my best friend on whats app. He knows about our neighbour and middle daughter. She rang tonight and it was awful neither of them mentioned it  in the conversation just skirted around it you could tell by the atmosphere. Husband has reached the grand age of 70yrs and has never had an operation he doesn't manage pain well, so I have started mentioning a few things about what might happen at the operation and afterwards just so it's not a shock but have had to give up. I have been keeping it light hearted  just now and then but the drawbridge has been pulled up until 16th October or more and I know I have to respect his wishes but it's so hard. Sorry for the rant. Also one last thing has anyone dealt with telling their children who live abroad this news? and if so how did you go about it? Not bothered too much about eldest 41yrs she will just bombard us with questions and information the youngest however is a different matter very much a daddies girl sensitive like him but hardly rings and whats apps us infrequently, she does have an Aussie boyfriend and they are living with his parents, so she will have an inclining something is wrong if we just ring out of the blue, Any help and advice would be truly helpful