Is this normal

Hi all,  my dad has throat cancer and treatment has not worked and we have been told its spread to other parts of his body. We know he has only a certain amount of time left. He struggles to swallow due to the cancer and he drinks shake supplements and manages soft food in small amounts. We have continuing health care where carers go in four times a day to given him his medication. What I need help to get my head around is his behaviour and the sudden lying. For example, he will tell a family member that he has bad stomach pains and can not go to toilet, so im informed of this and contact the local goldline who sends out a nurse to see him. So the nurses goes at nighttime to him saying there's nothing wrong with him. I get a call the following day to tell me what he said. So I go over to try and sort out the issue and he says he's bunged up and has pains. He's asking for laxatives because he is putting his fingers up his bum to help move the blockage. So I arrange for medication which is prescribed and since the 1st September he is allowed laxatives 4 times a day and reading the notes he's refused every dose, but tells me he not been given to him. He gets agitated when confronted. Is this normal for them to lie. One minute he can't eat anything then next he's wanting fish and chips. I can't tell if these are actual things people do when their dying or is he playing us off against one another. I don't want to thing the latter but its strange. 

  • Hello James

    Give your dad plenty of latitude over his perceived behaviour. Cancer has many side effects including psychological ones caused by stress, depression, pain and not least in metastatic cancer the likelihood of it physically affecting the brain. Pain medication can also cause a person to behave abnormally in addition to constipation. You ask if this is normal? Nothing is normal with cancer and your dad is unlikely to be deliberately acting. Being agitated, contrary and sometimes confused must be awful for him. Try to be patient and enjoy whatever time you have left together. 

    Ed