Stage 4 lung cancer - heartbroken

Hi 

my mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, which has spread to her spine, bones and they think her oesophagus. She is waiting for the results of the biopsy to come back before they work out a treatment plan. 
She had no symptoms other than pain in her knee and back but the doctor put that down to age and osteoarthritis caused by radiation therapy when she had breast cancer twice in her late 30’s. 
Looking back over the last year or so the only symptom she had was sometimes food would get stuck in her throat making her gag every now and then and I asked her to go to the doctor about it but she didn’t and now I feel guilty that I didn’t make her. 
They only found the cancer when they sent her to be scanned for a potential hip replacement. 
We’re all at a loss as to what to do, I know no one here can tell us that but I just needed to get this off my chest. No one needs to reply. sorry 

  • We dont need to reply but we wouldnt be human if we didnt come back and tell you how sorry we are for this news.  Thinking of you and your Mum, best wishes. X

  • Thank you for replying, I’m terrified of the future and really don’t know what to do. 

  • Hi Roadtosomewhere,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. I experienced something similar with my mum many years ago and know how devastating this is. My mum had breast cancer for 12 years. She then developed metastases in the liver, lungs, brain and bones and it was stage 4. She spent her last 3 months in hospital and we had to be strong for her. There wasn't really time to worry about our own feelings at the time. All we could do was to support mum and help her in any way that we could, which she appreciated. Simple things mean a lot. Keep her clean, comfortable and well fed. Let her know how much you love her. Does she want to do anything or see anyone in particular - if so, try to arrange this.

    The time for our own sentiments came after mum passed and we tried to deal with the grief left behind. At first, we were filled with images of her last few weeks and the struggles she had to endure. That was 29 years ago now and we still miss her sorely, although we have gradually come to terms with our loss over the years.

    Thinking of you and wishing you the strength to see this through.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx