Hi Dan,

I am sorry to hear about your friend's condition and can understand why this is getting her down. It might help both of you to write down a list of questions before you attend the appointment. If she is so fatigued, you might find that you need to do this over a couple of days, rather than exhausting her by trying to do it all at once. Her capacity will be best at the beginning of a conversation when her mind is fresh, but will gradually fade, in a longer discussion. You will both come up with different concerns, which might help her to have a better concept of what is happening. Does she really want to know what the future holds? Not everyone does and you may also need to consider her mental health issues and whether she could cope with bad news.

I expect that she might want to know whether any treatment might still work for her. Is there a different type of chemo that might be more effective, or would immunotherapy help?

Does she have any concerns about her various complications? List these and she what can be done about them?

Do you know what parts of her diagnosis she doesn't understand? Perhaps you could ask the oncologist to clarify this for you?

I sincerely hope that you manage to make some headway with this and that getting some answers will clarify matters, rather than scaring her. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for both of you.

Kind regards,

Jo+lamine xx