Hi, I’m at a loss for what to do.

My brother confided in me about his diagnosis and very poor prognosis.

Rare inoperable brain tumours

We live in different countries. I am ready to drop everything and be there for him but he wants to be alone.

He has had all available treatments but there is no cure and I’m not sure how much more he can take.

radiotherapy/chemo and 5 subsequent rounds of chemo 

The treatment isn’t working.

The hardest thing is that I am the only one in my family that knows.

He doesn’t want my Mum to ever know, she is elderly disabled and physically frail but mentally strong, her dream for the last few years is for us to visit my brother. It’s a subject she brings up often.  I’m having to side step the subject or find excuses why next year might be better….

Part of my brother’s condition means he can no longer speak and therefore has not spoken with Mum for over a year. They used to video call frequently.

My mum is confused that they no longer speak just occasional messages and doesn’t understand why barriers are being put up to the idea of visiting. 

My brother feels he will outlive her but he has already outlived his own prognosis.

I feel our mum has a good few years left in her!

He has a plan that if he is to outlive her his friends will keep his social media page active and post photos of him as if current activity. . Maybe even respond to messages on his behalf. Which I find a little unsettling /creepy

I am a mother and I would definitely want to know if my child was going through this. I Would want the choice to say goodbye at the very least.

I understand he wants to protect her and not be a burden.

Mum has suffered the loss of 2 children already many years ago now . So knowing will be traumatic to say the least mum will be devastated.

But then I’m back to it’s not about me or my mum, I don’t want to cause any kind of stress or upset for my brother.

I have talked with him about telling my mum but he is adamant 

I also have talked about coming over to be with him and support him through whatever he needs but he want to be alone.

I just don’t know what to do.
I feel so sad and useless and just so worried about him and any subsequent aftermath with mum.