Heya.

This is my own story in order to share on here. Please ring the number on your letters. Ask the front desk staff to lead you to the right team. Also you don’t say if you have had any extra support of not. Carers UK also run an amazing activity programme for carers. Best wishes. Hugs. Insist on an urgent referral pronto. 

Hi Kim,

Do you have Power of Attorney for your dad's health? If not, do you think he's mentally capable to agree to give you POA (and for his financial matters) in case his health declines & you have to help with his affairs? If you have POA and you think your dad's mental health is stopping him from seeking help for his skin cancer & moles, I suggest you contact his GP & tell them your fears (take the POA document with you). The GP may then agree to speak to your dad & assess his skin to see if it needs a dermatology referral.

I'm assuming the skin cancer he was diagnosed with is basal cell? If so, the GP may give him cream to use which means he doesn't need to visit the hospital. BCC is very slow growing, it looks nasty but it rarely spreads below the skin so it's not going to spread internally. As for his moles, unfortunately no one can stop your dad from picking at them but, as long as the GP says they don't look suspicious, picking them won't cause dad any future problems (other than bleeding & a risk of infection). 

Without POA you may find it harder to get his GP to see him if dad isn't amenable (unless he has a sympathetic GP). You can always tell his GP you are very worried about his mental health & ask if they or the practice nurse can visit him at home. They did this with my dad & were happy to look at anything else we were concerned with. It's a delicate balance I'm afraid - you just have to keep showing your concern & hopefully your dad will agree for your peace of mind (sometimes you have to use emotional blackmail to get elderly parents to care for themselves). 

Good luck & please let us know how you get on.

Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)