Dad with bladder cancer - no idea what to expect and worried

Hi all,

I’m so sorry we’re all going through this and apologies in advance for the long message. I just wondered if anyone has any experience they can share as I feel like I’m in the dark at the moment.

Dad is in his early 80’s and has stage 2 bladder cancer, first diagnosed about 14 months ago, he’s not suitable for any surgery due to frailty. He is getting intermittent bleeding and clots probably once a week for a couple of days and then it clears. He’s been to A&E 3 times in the last few months and catheter/flushed out twice, once just sent home. They’ve said they could do palliative radiotherapy for bleeds if they continue for a prolonged period but no one can define what a prolonged period would be. He’s a steady weight and some back ache/fatigue but otherwise ok and eating well. MacMillan hasn’t been very helpful and just refers me to the NhS website. They said the only way to access the urology consultant is through A&E which Dad finds really difficult as it’s usually at least a 10hr wait on hard chairs the last couple of times he’s been. 

He doesn’t want to know about a prognosis and I completely understand but I lost my mum to cancer and it was very quick between diagnosis and her death which came as a huge shock which I still find traumatic and going through this again is really hard. I have no idea if Dad might have years, months or if this increased bleeding is the beginning of the end. MacMillan just said to Google but going by that he’s either potentially got 5 years or already on borrowed time when he doesn’t seem much different now to 12 months ago. Does anyone have any advice or experience on what to look out for as a sign things are getting worse or any support I can access for radiotherapy that’s not via A&E?

  • Hello Sunny1980 and welcome to the Cancer Chat community.

    I'm really sorry to hear what is happening with your dad and that you haven't been able to get much information about what may happen next.

    We do have some information about bladder cancer on our website, but if it would help to speak to one of our cancer nurses about this they're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They will do all the can to answer your questions and hopefully give you a better idea of what signs to look out for and offer advice on how you can access palliative radiotherapy without having to go through A&E.

    I hope some of our members who have bladder cancer or cared for a loved one that has will stop by soon to share their experiences and advice but in the meantime, we're sending you all our support Sunny1980 and are wishing you and your dad all the best as you continue moving forward on this journey.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator