Feeling overwhelmed - I've had cancer twice and now supporting my husband.

I don't really know where to start but am struggling as I support my husband who was diagnosed with prostate cancer just over a year ago. Every step of the way things have become more complcated, He had a prostatectomy in May 25 which it was hoped would cure the condition. Results showed further spread to a lymph node and he has just completed 33 sessions of radiotherapy. The radiotherapy has now revealed an incidental issue with a mass showing on his appendix which requires further investigation. Further scans/surgery are required  but in view of recent treatment there will need to be a delay. 

Over the past 15 months we have found it so hard and frustrating trying to navigate the NHS and there have been several instances that have caused us extra worry and concern - long delays, booking mistakes, consultants with differing opinions to name but a few. This side of things is almost harder than accepting the diagnosis itself.

On top of this I had breast cancer in my left breast in 2017 with a lumpectomy and radiotherapy and then in my right breast in 2022 same treatment. I was lucky that all was straightforward physically but was still processing things with regards to my mental health when my husband received his diagnosis,

We are very close and call ourselves a team as we try to deal with all of this. We have little family. I have a brother who has  parkinsons so I cannot overburden him. We do have friends but there's only so much we involve them as everyone has there own set of problems in life so can't be expected to take on ours. 

I now feel that I've hit a wall. I'm exhausted, tearful and frightened about what the future holds. I found myself looking for information online and thought I would reach out to this forum in case anyone can offer some kind words or advice.

Thank you for reading my post.

  • I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling.I have been in a similar situation as I had a lumpectomy in 2019 and Mastectomy 6 weeks later.In 2023 I was diagnosed with Advanced breast cancer and was taking chemo drugs. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2024 . It’s such a shock when you’re both suffering the same thing and I can empathise will your very difficult  journey going through all the trauma of scans, appointments etc while trying to stay positive.

    Sadly I lost my hubby of nearly 50 years, in October. He looked after me during my ordeal and then the rolls reversed. I had great support from family and Mc Millan nurses and also my local hospice where I could get counselling and meet up with others to chat. 
    Im now getting chemo and hopefully this will work.As the song says, One day at a time. 

    All I can say to you is take care of each other, reach out to anyone who can help you through this terrible time and hopefully you will begin to feel a bit better.

    IGod blesse you both x