My mam is 53, and over the past 3 weeks my world has been torn and ripped apart by her cancer diagnosis. She had a sore shoulder for months and was told this was a gym injury, she then developed dizziness/vomitting and feeling unsteady on her feet, was then told this was vertigo. 

She went back to GP after tablets for vertigo not working, they sent her to A&E due to worsening in symptoms and she had scans done. Scans showed large brain tumour which was blocking spinal fluid which was causing the symptoms, they think there are another 4 brain tumours. They done full body scans and we have been told she likely has primary lung cancer, which has spread to bone (shoulder) and brain. She has just had lung biopsy to determine type and they removed large brain tumour. They have told us she is not able to be cured and any treatment will be to prolong her life. They think she may need whole brain radio which comes with its own complications. 4 weeks ago my mam was running, doing workout classes, weights, working and going on holidays etc - she was so fit , healthy and full of life. 

I’m due to get married in a few months and now worried about this, not excited for this at all and now feel guilty on my partner for this. I’m so close to my mam, also have 17 year old brother and older sister who has a new baby. I’m a nurse and have taken time off as feel unable to cop with work and trying to prioritise being there for her and my family. Worried she may not have long left, and feel like I can’t bare to live without her. I feel hopeless and not finding any joy or happiness in anything. Can anyone give any advice or words which may help?