My mum was told this Monday that the breast cancer is back she has tumors in both kidneys, liver and her lower abdomen she had HER2 Positive breast cancer it was her main site and she had been cancefree for 8 years. We are in limbo as oncology have not got her booked in yet. I feel like my whole world has collapsed I have cried since Monday and the tears keep coming I never knew i could cry lithis my whole body aches my eyes sting I can't sleep I feel guilty and I can't bear to look at her little face  she is so scared she is the most selfless woman I have ever known her only concern isow we are my dad is falling apart he turned to drink my mam is 72 I'm 46 I can't get my head around every day I feel weaker with emotions n feel like I'm failing her I look back on her life and she s struggled so much they were nearing paying off their mortgage n had plans I so want they to be peaceful n happy together after years of working and bringing up three children I find myself lookinground now and thinking how do people cope with this pain I had to come on here as I feel so alone the thought of not hearing her seeing her getting annoyed by her n watching the cancer take away all that she is feels like too much to bear my mum is still here but this grief has got me in it's grip as I know that the cancer is roaming free n in my mam n hurting her I want to reach into her body and help but I can't I'm sorry to anyone who had experienced this it's the worst pain I have ever experienced I'm praying for a miracle this limbo is awful xxx love n light to all xx