Hello Carod, 

A warm welcome to our forum and thank you for coming and sharing your story with us. I am so sorry your husband of 51 years was diagnosed with lung cancer just a month ago and that it has spread to his brain. It must have come as a shock to you and I can imagine this last month has been really difficult for both of you. It's so sad too that his other health issues are preventing him from having a biopsy and that the steroids have given him diabetes. It is truly a heart-breaking situation and you are doing everything you can and he knows I am sure that he is lucky to have you by his side. It is not unusual sadly to withdraw and want to be alone when in your husband's place and it is bound to make you feel a little powerless but you are doing so much and I am sure he appreciates everything you do for him and your presence and company even if he has this tendency to want to be alone. 

There is information on our website for family, friends and carers which you might find useful as it includes some great tips on supporting someone with cancer. As this is getting you down, I think it might be worth talking to your GP about how you are feeling and they may have some good suggestions for you to help you get through this tough time. Even if it's really hard to find the time, it is important not to forget to take care of yourself. You mentioned you were going to see the palliative nurse next week and I hope that the visit will be helpful and that you will get some much needed support. Have a look too at our information on the kinds of support available at home  - there is practical and emotional support available and if you wanted to talk things through with our cancer nurses at any point, we also have a free helpline you can ring on this free number 0808 800 4040 - it is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

You are not alone and I wanted you to know that we are all here for you on the forum and I hope that you will hear from some of our lovely members here who have sadly been in your place before or who are currently also looking after a loved one with cancer. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator