I'm so sorry to hear that you're facing a future without your wife. It must be overwhelming at times when you consider all the changes that will come in the future.
I think that what you've described is completely understandable, but it is not something that is widely or openly talked about. There are so many things to take into consideration now that you know the future that you and your wife had hoped and imagined you might share will no longer be a reality. Part of what you're describing sounds like grief, and I'm sure that there are others who will recognise the feelings that you've described.
Whilst you know that the future will change in ways that you cannot control, there will be opportunities in the future to shape how you're new normal looks like. But that will come in time.
In the meanwhile Stich, what support are you getting to help with all that the two of you are facing? I hope that you have family and friends around you both. I know that many people have found it helpful to talk with someone about what they're thinking and feeling, and I wonder if that might be something that would be if benefiti to you. It may be that there is an organisation such as Maggie's in your local area, or there is perhaps a hospice service that offers support to the loved ones of those diagnosed with cancer. If it would help to chat things through with one of our nurses, you're most welcome to give them a call. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information, and support they can. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040.
There are going to be difficult times ahead Stich. Please keep posting here in the Cancer Chat community if it helps to have a safe space to put down in writing how you're feeling. We're here for you.
Sending you both our best wishes, Jenn Cancer Chat moderator
