Really struggling everyday with caring for my partner who has terminal cancer. The emotional abuse is awful. I feel like walking away. I'm at my wits end.
I'm so very sorry to hear about the situation that you currently find yourself in. This is an all too common issue that we see people sharing here in the Cancer Chat community.
Life-limiting illnesses can not only bring physical pain, but along with physical symptoms, your loved one may show signs of emotional distress as they come to terms with their diagnosis. This could be withdrawing from family and friends, increased irritation, but especially fear, anxiety and anger, which are all common in this situation. This is something known as terminal agitation. While a change in mood can make a person challenging to be around, it’s important to understand that these emotions are natural at the end of life and the anger isn’t directed at you and they aren't trying to hurt you.
You have done the right thing in coming here and reaching out to others on the forum. Dealing with cancer can be a difficult time for both the patient and their loved ones and sometimes you need to talk to others who understand. Please do consider giving our Cancer Nurses a call if you need to ask any questions, they are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on freephone 0808 800 4040. There is some information on terminal agitation here that might be useful and also some useful advice on the NHS website on coping with a terminal diagnosis
It is crucial that you look after your own well-being and there are several organisations such as Carers UK and Carers Trust who can help support you during this difficult time. I'd also really encourage you to talk with your partner's GP, district nurse team or palliative care team. It's not uncommon for patients to show different behaviour to health professionals than to those who are around them on a daily basis. Please let them know that you're struggling and that you need support.
Hopefully others who have experience of this will reply soon but keep in touch Pixiewitch if it helps to have a safe space to put things down in writing. We're here for you.
Sending my best wishes, Jenn Cancer Chat moderator
