Worries about mum’s treatment for ovarian cancer

I live in the UK and my mum is in Poland. My mum has been going through ovarian cancer treatment for last 2.5 years and recently her health has really deteriorated and I’m worried they will not be able to give her chemo anymore. She is barely eating, and yesterday could not go for her chemo appointment due to being really ill. My aunt took her eventually to get some IV fluids which helped. Mum also has depression which makes her not want to do anything and is really draining on my aunt and my dad who look after her. 
I have always kept positive and now I am really struggling. I went for a visit a few weeks ago and was shocked how bad she was. I managed to convince her to get some more help for her depression, thought things would be getting better but they seem to be getting worse. 
Since being back to the UK, my mental health has taken a nosedive, I am struggling with anxiety, low moods and I think some anticipatory grief. Sleep has been affected, small things feel hard. Work is very hard. I started counselling and took some time off sick to recharge my batteries so hoping this will help. 
I’m struggling to cope with this situation, I can’t be in Poland at the moment and cannot give up my life to go look after her full time. I hope taking time off work helps my mental health so I can better cope. This is so hard and it’s difficult to watch things from afar. 

  • Hello Alia1

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and that things have become more difficult for everyone recently. It sounds like it's a difficult time for you Mum and it's perfectly understandable that you may be feeling overwhelmed by everything. 

    It's good to know that you've recognised your own struggles with the situation and that you've reached out for support in the form of counselling and taken some time off to try and improve your health. Don't be afraid to go back to your GP if you need further help. 

    We often see posts from people here in the Cnacre Chat community who, for any number of reasons, are not able to be physically close to their loved ones. Sometimes using video calls can help people to feel more connected to those family members they are physically distant from. 

    I'm sure that your Mum would want you to take care of your own health and needs. We have some tips and advice on our website about taking care of yourself

    If it would help to talk with one of our nurses at any point, you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. 

    Thinking of you all at this difficult time, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator