Hello Almauley and I am sorry to read what you are going through with your mother.  She sounds like the mum from hell.  Your mum has completely crushed you to the point where you are unable to defend yourself, and this is very sad.  However, instead of sympathy, I believe that you need some 'Tough Love'.  You DO NOT have to take this abuse from your mother.  As a child, you were defenceless and powerless against her horrible treatment of you, but you are now a Woman in your 50s, and frankly, you are ENABLING her abuse behaviour.  Having cancer is never an excuse to mistreat other folks, especially as you are doing your very best to take care of her.  You MUST start standing up for yourself.  Tell her that you are  no longer prepared to accept her vile behaviour and that you couldn't care less about a DNA test and that even if a DNA test proved that she is not your biological mother, you would be quite happy to know that such a disgusting creature like her is not your real mum, as this is what she seems to be implying.  You do not owe her anything, and like all bullies, once you stand up for yourself, she will literally shrivel in to the ugly toad that she truly is.  Are you married with children?  Because I can guarantee you one thing:  She will eventually come between you and those who you should be putting first:  Your own family.  Tell her that you will no longer be footing the bill for her furniture etc, and that if she doesn't like it, that's just too bad.  Tell her that you would not care one little bit to cut all contact with her.  I strongly suspect that you think that if you continue to be her door-mat, she will grow to love you, but sadly, people like your mum are unable to feel or receive love.  They are ugly, empty voids, more robotic than human.  Bottom line:  You will NEVER have the mother that you so desperately want.  She is incapable of being that person that you want her to be.  You have two choices:  1) You can can stand up to her and tell her that you will not have her in your life if she can not speak to you and treat you with respect, or 2)  You can carry on being a pathetic, pitiful woman who needs to grow a pair of Gonads.  I am sorry if I sound harsh, but as I have already said, you need some Tough Love.  I speak from a place of experience because I also had a mum who was psychologically abusive towards me.  She died when I was in my early 30s and I am not ashamed to admit that it felt like someone had opened up a prison cell and allowed me to walk free.  This might sound shocking to a lot of folks, but for those people who had mothers like ours, I know that my words will resonate.  When I look back on my life (I am now in my early 60s), I can see that I allowed and enabled my mum to treat me the way she did.......just as YOU are allowing and enabling YOUR mother to do the same to you.  For goodness sake, WOMAN UP!