I’m sorry to hear that your husband has been given such devastating news, it must be an incredibly difficult time for both of you, Life-limiting illnesses can not only bring physical pain, but along with physical symptoms, your loved one may show signs of emotional distress as they come to terms with their diagnosis. This could be withdrawing from family and friends, increased irritation, but especially fear, anxiety and anger, which are all common in this situation. This is something known as terminal agitation. These emotions can be disheartening as you want to enjoy your last few months, weeks, or days with your loved one. While a change in mood can make a person challenging to be around, it’s important to understand that these emotions are natural at the end of life and the anger isn’t directed at you and he isn’t trying to hurt you.

You have done the right thing in coming here and reaching out to others on the forum. Dealing with cancer can be a difficult time for both the patient and their loved ones and sometimes you need to talk to others who understand. Please do consider giving our Cancer Nurses a call if you need to ask any questions, they are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on freephone 0808 800 4040.  There is some information on terminal agitation here that might be useful and also some useful advice on the NHS website on coping with a terminal diagnosis I would also suggest you might want to contact the end-of-life charity Marie Curie as they have a support line and will be experienced in dealing with this kind of behaviour.

It is crucial that you look after your own well being and there are several organisations such as Carers UK and Carers Trust who can help support you during this difficult time.
Sometimes, it may feel as though your husband is just giving up when he is upset or angry, but try to remain as calm as possible and if you are concerned talk to his GP or another health professional, particularly if you think he may cause himself harm or be a danger to others should he go out in the car again.

Sadly this is a topic that comes up frequently on Cancer Chat, so I hope that you will hear from other forum members who have been in this really difficult situation before and that they will share their experience with you. In the meantime we wish you well and are here for you if you need to chat

Moderator Sarah

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It's so so hard isn't it? I'm caring for my partner who has terminal cancer that was under control after chemotherapy but now seems to be coming back. He's very angry too. He seems to go from 0 to 100 in a split second, usually taking it out on me. I feel so sad about this as I'd imagined us working as a team together in this period. It sounds like your husband is perhaps closer to the end than my partner, so maybe it's a bit different, but I feel for you as I know  how unfair it can feel, and wish you strength in the days and weeks ahead. 

This hisnt his normal behaviour, we have got the palliative nurses on board , my husband his on end of life now so l have got a lot of support, my family are all there to support me Thankyou for your kind words 

Thanks Dave

Honestly, there isn't anyone.... only his brother but he's very ill himself, so is coping with his own problems. I think you're right about the fear and guilt. There are so many emotions which feel overwhelming. Cancer alone is hard enough, and when other problems come along it feels like you're pushed over the edge. It's a cruel disease and life can be very unfair on top.