Hello, I'm writing because I don't know what to do. My Mum had a fall before Easter and broke her shoulder. The cause of the fall hasn't been investigated, all she's been treated for was the fracture. I begged my father to get her checked out, but she refused to do so. She started to loose her confidence in walking and started to loose weight. By July she couldn't stand up, my father with dementia had to take full care of her, from toilet to wash and dress, making, giving her food. Toilet accidents started to happen, which she was really embarrassed about, and a few times she rolled off her bed overnight and stayed on the floor until my dad woke up. They sleep in separate rooms in different parts of the house and my mum refused to have my dad in the same room as her for overnight. By the end of July she could barely sit up, extremely thin and fragile, still wouldn't except doctors help.
I was calling them on messenger every single day, I work full time and I'm a single parent to my two teenage daughters, the older one is currently doing her GCSE's. We had to move out from our home where my daughters grew up by the end of April as the landlords decided to sell the house and for 7 weeks we had to live with my mother-in-law in her tiny two bedroom flat while waited for the council to help with housing but had no luck. My daughters both started to suffer mentally from this situation and we found a suitable private rental which we moved in mid June. Money is really tight on our side.
My Mum got that weak, she couldn't even hold her head anymore while sitting, I was looking up the ambulance number for my dad, while trying to reach a family member over in Hungary to help as it's crucial. I had luck and my sister in law's sister went over, mum could barely spoke by then, we could finally had her permission to call the ambulance. I was on videocall with them that time for 5 hours. At the emergency unit they run all the tests, put her on the drip and they soon see what was wrong. Her chest was covered and also her glans and she has double sided brain tumours. They said if we wouldn't bring her in she'd have left only 12 hours to live.
After 8 days spent in hospital, they said there is nothing they can do. Me and my daughters dropped everything, reached into our little savings set aside for emergency, as it is, and rushed to Hungary. That day we arrived she's been transferred to a hospice, near where they live. They thought in there she was paralised on the right side. I fed her, washed her, spent every minute I was allowed in there with her. Between visitation times (twice a day) I was making her favourite foods, teas, looked for her clothes to bring them in, noone knew anything, where her things were. I moved out in 1999, and moved to the UK in 2004, but I always been close to her, talked on the daily basis. I knew where she keeps her purse, where to find her ID card for the ambulance, told my dad which wardrobe and drawers he can find her clothes for the hospital bag and more. The second day seeing her, my daughter noticed, my mum moved her finger! The third day she was sitting up with aid, and started to eat more and more! By the 8th day- our last day- she was feeding herself with a spoon with her right hand, being able to pull both of her legs up, being cheerful and telling us stories. That day we finally managed to go and see my Grandma, my mum's mum, 94 years old, my daughter said: could we bring Greatgrandma to see Grandma? It's been months since they last seen eachother. My Grandma teared up, we helped her to find her shoes and we brought her in with us, for the first time. That moment, when they finally met... priceless.
My brother lives only 10 minutes away, but he hasn't even visited them until mum couldn't walk. He went on holiday to France with his family to celebrate his birthday 5 days before I, from England, rushed her into the hospital. She's not aware of what's wrong with her. By now my brother is better as in visitation, I managed to ask for his help to repeat all the examinations, which proved that it was true and as she is barely 30kg now, ever so weak, there is nothing what they can do.
She is a marvellous lady, so intelligent, she still so sharp in her brain, remembers to everything, she is the purest soul, never swore, always kind and gentle with so much love to give to anyone! Who ever met her, remembers her. I feel that she doesn't have long now. We face time every day, I notice the change. I know I should be there by her, but I can't afford to do so, also my daughter is doing her GCSE's this year, can't just get her out of school, not to mention that my girls suffered enough. We haven't even settled in properly, still in boxes, we need furnitures, so expensive! if I could afford I would definitely say 'let's go!' but I can't put are life under risk, never had any sort of loans or credit cards and don't even want to think about, that just wouldn't be sensible. My mum doesn't want us to go for the exact same reasons.
What shall I do?
