Hi AliceM25, 

Your poor husband has been through so much lately with the surgery and the 4 cycles of chemotherapy. It must be so frustrating for him not to be able to do what he enjoyed doing, pottering around the garden or simple things like taking the dog for a walk. I can imagine as he seems to be quite an active man that he is finding it hard not to be able to return to work but it's probably best to avoid any heavy lifting - his return to work is something he can discuss with his medical team as they will be able to tell him how long he needs to be off work for and if lifting things is going to be a problem whilst he is still recovering. 

It can be hard to find the right words to comfort our loved ones who are going through cancer and who are having to adjust to the physical limitations that can come in the aftermath of cancer treatment. What you are saying to him is very true that it all takes time and he has been through horrendous change - I think this is a very supportive way to talk to him even if you feel sometimes you are running out of things to say. It can be so difficult to know what to say to someone we love who is going through this and you will find on our website detailed information on how to support someone with cancer and in there you will see a nice little video with top tips from patients on how to talk to someone with cancer. Being a good listener is perhaps the most important thing and I am sure your husband appreciates all your support and having you by his side during this challenging time. 

I hope that you will find out more soon about what happens next and that you both adapt to a new normal and that things start improving for your husband soon. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator