Hello,
My mum (48) was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in May. Although I am extremely grateful that she has access to treatment and a great medical team, this experience has been a living hell. My mum’s main side effects from the cancer treatment are mental confusion, difficulty with short-term memory, emotional meltdowns, and episodes of psychosis during which she becomes verbally and physically abusive toward her family.
She has been complaining about bone pain for the past five years. She lost a lot of weight, had no appetite, was always tired, struggled to stay on her feet for long periods, and endured endless medical appointments where she was told the pain was due to working as a chef for so many years.
I used to do medical writing for magazines and online news portals, especially on cancer diagnoses. But when it came to my mum, I didn’t associate her symptoms with cancer. Doctors said her pain was normal, she hid the seriousness of her symptoms and pain, and I believed cancer only happened to others.
I am struggling with feelings of guilt for not advocating more for her earlier. I stopped paying close attention because I thought she was fine, even when it was visible she wasn’t. I know intellectually that I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, and that multiple myeloma is often misdiagnosed, but the guilt is still hard to shake.
Additionally, I live in another country and cannot be there 100% for her. This makes it even harder to cope with the situation and my feelings of responsibility.
