Hi Carer, 

I am so sorry your husband has been diagnosed with liver and bile duct cancer last spring. It's great that he has gone beyond his life expectancy thanks to treatment but even though you are no doubt happy about that, this has been an exhausting journey for you too and it will have inevitably taken a toll on your physical and mental health. It's totally understandable then that you will get irritated with people for no reason and there is also this fear that something is going to happen to him when he isn't feeling right because you're not quite sure what to expect and feel a little bit left in the dark. Is there a way you could perhaps talk to his medical team and ask them to give you a detailed update so that you know a bit more what to expect? I can imagine that some things are unpredictable but maybe it's worth having this conversation so that you get more of a sense of how things are likely to progress. Don't hesitate to ask them questions and to write these down too as it's easy to forget what we meant to ask.

Sadly as you will have experienced yourself, too many people tend to forget about the carer and the carer's wellbeing. You will find on our website some useful information for family, friends and caregivers where you will learn more about how to support someone with cancer but crucially we have a section on taking care of yourself which I hope you will find interesting. It is so important that you take a little bit of time to recharge your own batteries and it's so easy with everything that is happening to your husband to just ignore your own needs and wellbeing. 

I wanted you to know though that you are not alone here on Cancer Chat and where other people around you might slightly annoy you at times because they may not really get it, here you will meet others who are also carers and who know exactly how you are feeling at the moment and how it's not always easy for you. I will let them come and say hello and hopefully share their story with you. 

Even though your husband has thankfully gone beyond his life expectancy, all is far from easy I can imagine and we are thinking of you during this challenging time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator