Limbo - husband has an ileostomy and has been getting constant partial bowel obstructions for the past month. No seems to be doing anything. Really worried

My husband (42) was diagnosed with bowel cancer originally in 2018, so this has been a long journey. He has an ileostomy and has been getting almost constant partial bowel obstructions, for the last month. Hes been in hospital twice for 4-5 days but CT scans are inconclusive- probably due to scar tissue. 

No one seems to be monitoring his other than me. Hes just sent home for a few days then ends up back in again. He has no life and is basically living on the sofa in agony. I have two small children who dont even recognise their dad. Has anyone else experienced this? I am very worried that I will find him dead, either from a heart attack because his potassium keeps tanking, perforated bowel or suicide. No one seems to have any answers. Ll

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  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Kaye24, although I'm very sorry to hear about the near constant pain your husband has been in for the past month, and for the worry and stress this is causing.

    I can't begin to imagine how scary this must be for you and your family, especially with your two young children to look after as well, but we are here for you Kaye and sending you all our strength and support at this very challenging time.

    Caring for someone with cancer, as you already know, is very tough so it's very important to take care of yourself at this time. I know that's easier said than done but if you feel comfortable doing so, lean on your family and friends for comfort and support as I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be going through this alone.

    This current situation must be extremely difficult for you and your husband so if either of you ever need to talk to someone about any of this, the Samaritans are available on 116 123, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They are there to listen and will do all they can to support you both if things become a bit too much.

    If you have any further questions or concerns about your husband's situation, our cancer nurses are also available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    I really do hope a solution can be found and your husband's pain starts to become more manageable over time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Reply
  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Kaye24, although I'm very sorry to hear about the near constant pain your husband has been in for the past month, and for the worry and stress this is causing.

    I can't begin to imagine how scary this must be for you and your family, especially with your two young children to look after as well, but we are here for you Kaye and sending you all our strength and support at this very challenging time.

    Caring for someone with cancer, as you already know, is very tough so it's very important to take care of yourself at this time. I know that's easier said than done but if you feel comfortable doing so, lean on your family and friends for comfort and support as I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be going through this alone.

    This current situation must be extremely difficult for you and your husband so if either of you ever need to talk to someone about any of this, the Samaritans are available on 116 123, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They are there to listen and will do all they can to support you both if things become a bit too much.

    If you have any further questions or concerns about your husband's situation, our cancer nurses are also available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    I really do hope a solution can be found and your husband's pain starts to become more manageable over time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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