Dad with stage 4 cancer in 4 different places

  • Hi everyone, I just wanted to come on here to talk about my dad and firstly say all of you are so strong! My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, in his oesophagus, adrenal glands, liver and kidney. I’m only young and my dad and me live 400 miles away- making it hard for me to see him as much as I’d like. He was in assisted living for a week or two and now he’s in the hospital because of low potassium levels I think? And a kidney infection- the hospital got that under control but it looks like the cancer is getting worse. I face timed him the other day and just seeing the difference in how he looks broke something in me, my dad was a skinny guy anyway and he had a lot of muscle but since he got cancer he lost an unhealthy amount of weight. I really just don’t know what to do, my dad has always been there for me although he didn’t see me much when I was younger- he always helped when my family was being horrible to me. He didn’t pay much child support until a few months ago when he got a new job, he had been consistent with us and seeing us and now this is happening? It’s so unfair, he’s only 57 and there’s so much of my life that he won’t get to see. Any help is appreciated.

[update]
A few updates, my dad is now in hospice as he is in end of life stages, hes been put on a morphine driver and Im now down to see him. I went into the hospice and brought him a neck pillow as the way hes been sleeping to relieve the pressure from his stomach- because its so big and filled with fluid, same with his legs- theyre massive and heavy- is not very comfortable, he was sleeping on a chair bent over with his head leaning on a pillow and since hes been in hospice he slept in a bed for the first time!!! I also brought him some new pyjamas, a really nice ripple light a blanket and some other few bits and bobs. this is really difficult for me to handle, its breaking my heart to see him this way and know i can do nothing about it. He refused chemo when he first got diagnosed around 8 weeks ago and now it’s too late for him. He’s going to die in days.

  • Hi babygail7896767, 

    Thank you for taking the trouble to update us though I am so sad to hear about the latest developments and that your dad is now in hospice in end of life stages. It was so sweet of you to bring him a neck pillow to make him more comfortable as well as a new pyjamas, the blanket and all those little things that can make a big difference. 

    I can imagine this is so hard for you to handle and so heart-breaking to see him like this. You must be feeling so powerless but you are doing everything you can to accompany him and show him how much you love him in his final days. 

    I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I hope I will be joined by other members of our community who will no doubt have comforting words for you based on their personal experiences. 

    We're thinking of you during this extremely difficult time and the forum is always there for you even during these tough moments. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator