Dad has stage 4 cancer

Hi everyone, I just wanted to come on here to talk about my dad and firstly say all of you are so strong! My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, in his oesophagus, adrenal glands, liver and kidney. I’m only young and my dad and me live 400 miles away- making it hard for me to see him as much as I’d like. He was in assisted living for a week or two and now he’s in the hospital because of low potassium levels I think? And a kidney infection- the hospital got that under control but it looks like the cancer is getting worse. I face timed him the other day and just seeing the difference in how he looks broke something in me, my dad was a skinny guy anyway and he had a lot of muscle but since he got cancer he lost an unhealthy amount of weight. I really just don’t know what to do, my dad has always been there for me although he didn’t see me much when I was younger- he always helped when my family was being horrible to me. He didn’t pay much child support until a few months ago when he got a new job, he had been consistent with us and seeing us and now this is happening? It’s so unfair, he’s only 57 and there’s so much of my life that he won’t get to see. Any help is appreciated.

  • Hi Babygail7896767 and welcome to the Cancer Chat community.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and that his cancer seems to be getting worse. This must be such a difficult time for you both, especially with the distance between you making it rather challenging to be able to see and support him as much as you would like.

    So many of our members know how upsetting this can be, so you are not alone Babygail7896767, and hopefully some of them will stop by soon to share their stories and advice.

    If it would help to talk to one of our cancer nurses about this, they're available Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m on 0808 800 4040. They're very understanding and will do all they can to support you as you figure out what to do.

    In the meantime, we're here for you Babygail7896767 and sending all our strength and support to the both of you.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Wow steph, thanks for the reply, this is just making me cry. A few updates, my dad is now in hospice as he is in end of life stages, hes been put on a morphine driver and Im now down to see him. I went into the hospice and brought him a neck pillow as the way hes been sleeping to relieve the pressure from his stomach- because its so big and filled with fluid, same with his legs- theyre massive and heavy- is not very comfortable, he was sleeping on a chair bent over with his head leaning on a pillow and since hes been in hospice he slept in a bed for the first time!!! I also brought him some new pyjamas, a really nice ripple light a blanket and some other few bits and bobs. Ill definitely give that number a call as this is really difficult for me to handle, its breaking my heart to see him this way and know i can do nothing about it. He refused chemo when he first got diagnosed around 8 weeks ago and now it’s too late for him.

    Hoping for another reply, Thank you!