Hello lovely, 

Firstly I'm so sorry for what you're going through. You're right, cancer is so evil and just so cruel :( Having lost my beautiful Mum 2 months ago to TNBC i wanted to reach out. In the lead up I felt like I was going insane and struggled to cope. My Mum was only 57 so seeing her confused and agitated at the end absolutely broke me. 

I really hope you have some good support around? As I say, I struggled so much but I used help that was free and accessible like Macmillan and when things really got too much I rang the samaritans a couple of times (you don't need to be suicidal to speak to them) and I just sometimes found that speaking to a complete stranger is easier than people we know. I was seeing a counsellor/therapist during that time too and to be honest I'd have been lost without her during the lead up and even now so if you're not seeing a counsellor or anything and are able to money wise I would really recommend it. 

Also on YouTube (maybe not for everyone) I watched someone who has a big following called 'hospice nurse Julie'. Her videos are so informative and helpful as everything that panned out with my Mum I kind of knew was coming due to watching her videos. Some of her stuff is comforting, some may be triggering so just be careful x

It is truly gut wrenching what you're going through. Journalling also helps me just to get it all out. I understand that non of these are the magic answers but please know you're not alone. Sending love and strength. X

Can I ask you because I've never spoken to someone who has gone through TNBC and I understand it's an aggressive cancer and it can spread quickly, my grandma got admitted yesterday with hallucinations. She has pneumonia as well so would the confusion be from the cancer or pneumonia? It's all so confusing and overwhelming with so much information out there, I didn't feel like I was talking to my grandma yesterday, it's like she's changed over night. My concern is it's probably spread to her brain, it's already spread to her lungs. Thank you for your message, I definitely need to speak with someone because honestly this is just absolutely heart breaking. X

Thanks so much for replying, sorry I've been slow, a lot going on, grandma has took a turn for the worse, hospital neglect, so im currently fighting to get her moved. There is a few things but some things are they failed to provide fluids for more then 12 hours, no medication given or pain relief so my poor grandma is in pain, she had a fall 30 hours go and the hospital have only just done an xray. I'm disgusted and heart broken she is being treated this way. Do we not have enough to deal woth right now. Honestly life is cruel 

But thank for replying it's good to know that I have someone to talk to x

Hello, I'm also really sorry for the slow reply. I'm somewhat in a pit of despair at times when my grief gets really bad over my Mum so struggle with messaging sometimes. 

But I fully get your turmoil and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. You have my sympathy as my Mum had similar negligence in the hospital. It haunts me now. Left her without pain meds and was crying in absolute agony. It breaks my heart thinking about.

Have you been spoken to about hospice care? Because hospice care is soo world's apart from the hospital. They took amazing care of my Mum and I thank god she passed away there and not in hospital. 

I really hope your Grandma is a bit more settled and out of pain. Sending big hugs because I know how hard this is, it's a living nightmare. My heart goes out to you x

She has declined quite quickly, they have now stopped all medication, just continuing with pain relief, she is peaceful in her own room, it's quite and cosy, we have all been there all day because the hospital thonk she only has hours left. To say im heart broken is an understatement. I'm truly sorry and send my condolences to you also who has had to go through this because I wouldnt wish it on anyone. It's a complete emotional roller coaster. I've told her I love her and I'll miss her so much but I hope she is always with me in spirit. She has had her blessings from a priest today also. 

Sending hugs to you also, thank you for reaching out it really is so kind of you. Xxx

Oh bless you, I feel this need to reach out because I know how excruciating it is. You're so welcome :)

I'm so so glad your grandma is in her own room and been more comfortable, that's the most important thing at this point. I'm glad you're all there for her too and have all come together to be with her. She'll know how loved she is and it sounds like you're an amazing grandchild who loves her so much and She'll carry that love with her. My Mum was also blessed by a priest which gave me comfort and although some days are more difficult than others, I truly feel my Mum all around me still and you will too with your lovely Grandma. She's in your DNA and will always be in your heart. 

You're all in my thoughts and prayers at this painful and sad time. And thank you so much, sending hugs also xxx

The nurse took my grandma off oxygen, she passed away peacefully 20 minutes later at 16.55, she's at peace now, no more suffering, she's with my grandad now, im absolutely heart broken xxx

I'm so sorry lovely, sending you the biggest hugs. I'm so glad it was was peaceful and it's so lovely that she'll be with your Grandad. You be kind to yourself and sending lots of love xxx

Hi Rdavis, 

I just wanted to echo what StrawberryBear has said, and offer you our heartfelt sympathies for your loss.

I know this must be incredibly painful, but I hope you can take some comfort from knowing she has now reunited with your grandad, and that she was able to pass peacefully.

Our thoughts are with your Rdavis, and we're sending you all our strength and support at this very difficult time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you, I take comfort i was there and she wasn't alone when she passed. She fell asleep and never woke up, rest in peace my dear grandma you will be missed so much. But no more pain and no more suffering. Xx

Yes she is where she wants to be reunited with her dear husband. She will be missed so much and leave a hole in our lives but she's at peace now. I just have to try and get theough it the best I can. thank you so much for your kind messages ️ it really does mean alot xx

You're so welcome lovely. Xxx

You're so welcome lovely. Xxx