Hi all.

3 years ago my dad (now 63) was told he had a mass in his lungs and he walked away saying he didn’t want to know. His gp called and wrote to him asking him to go in but he refused and then ignored any communication. He has refused to see me for the last 2 years saying he is busy or under the weather every time I have tried to see him.

Fast forward 3 years and he was rushed into hospital after being found on the floor unresponsive and with no feeling in his left side. When I arrived at the hospital I didn’t even recognise him he had lost that much weight and I was beyond shocked. His partner was there and she filled me in on the last few years and how his health had deteriorated and she had begged him to get help. 

He was kept in hospital and had MRI & CT scan. MRI reported lesions on his brain, CT scan a pneumonia on his chest, therefore could not see a mass in his lungs. He has refused a diagnosis so we don’t actually know what we are dealing with, however the dr told us there will be a primary cancer that has spread to his brain, but because they couldn’t see the primary - because of the fluid etc on his chest, they couldn’t pin point it. My dad now has taken this as nothing wrong with other than a chest infection. You can imagine how stressed I am by this. He has been prescribed dexamethasone and has been on these now for 3 weeks, and they have been tapered down to 4mg as of today. The GP has said they won’t take these off him and he will have them as long as he needs, however they will stop working at some point. The palliative team have been in contact but he told them to do one. My dad is now like a different person. He is high on life, probs put 2 stone on and can’t stop eating and also won’t stop talking which is very much out of character for him. 

After this ramble (sorry) what I’m trying to find out is, what next? Is this normal? Are the steroids making him like this and how long will this last? I feel completely blind in this situation and just don’t know what to do. I am not allowed to mention the c word and I’m not allowed to be negative. I just don’t know what to even think at this point.

Any help or information would be really appreciated. Thank you.