Hi Jazcat, 

It's so sad what happened to your nan - going to hospital with sepsis and being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia. Being told that no one exceeded 12 months must have been heart-breaking and I can imagine you and your family are devastated by the news. I am so sorry this is making it really hard for you to go to work and that your workplace haven't been very supportive. Being pregnant too, you need to take it easy and look after yourself - it might be worth talking to your GP about how you are feeling and seeing whether you could take a little bit of time off work to rest a little if you need to or are feeling emotionally exhausted by all this. Make sure you tell your doctor everything you have listed here, that you go to sleep on the verge of tears and wake up in the night screaming and that you are generally feeling very much affected by the situation.  

I think you did well to speak to your husband as he will want to know how you are feeling and he has been through loss himself recently so you can comfort one another but it can also be a good idea to talk to friends or others outside of your family. Coming here on the forum can help too as you will meet others who have been through something similar recently and who can understand perhaps sometimes better than your family or relatives what you are going through and how you are feeling.

I hope that you will hear from the lovely members of our community and that they will come and share their story with you. We're thinking of you and your nan during this difficult time and wanted you to know we are here anytime you need to talk or offload. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator