Hi lochise

If there can be a disease worse than cancer it is dementia. Mosrly we can deal with the effects of cancer but we have no control over how dementia presents itself. We cared for a family member with vascular dementia until it got to the point where they needed professional care in a home. So fully understand the violent outbursts aggression and irrational thoughts and speech. The hurtful words are not your mums and it is not her being mean. It is the dementia distorting her thought processes. So try to forgive her, ignore the "meaness" and continue visiting her while she still knows who you are and can hold a conversation. 

Ed

Hi lochise

If there can be a disease worse than cancer it is dementia. Mosrly we can deal with the effects of cancer but we have no control over how dementia presents itself. We cared for a family member with vascular dementia until it got to the point where they needed professional care in a home. So fully understand the violent outbursts aggression and irrational thoughts and speech. The hurtful words are not your mums and it is not her being mean. It is the dementia distorting her thought processes. So try to forgive her, ignore the "meaness" and continue visiting her while she still knows who you are and can hold a conversation. 

Ed

Thank you so much for your words I feel so out of my depth. I’ve taken today out to lick my wounds today but will visit again tomorrow as you suggest. The cancer diagnosis was hard enough but the added dementia diagnosis is just so cruel. I hope you are well and send love and prayers to you and your family thanks again Deb

Hi 

Have you been in contact with Dementia services in your area 

I think this aspect of caring for your Mum is a priority 

It is very hard to see a loved one reacting in ways so not them.

I know its not easy to  access  but some help to care. May help make the most of your time together.

Sending Strength 

RB

Thank you so much