My mum and dad both have cancer

My mum and dad both have cancer. My mum has thyroid cancer and is going through treatment with the prospect of surgery hopefully come the end of the year. My dad had prostate cancer which went away with treatment but has returned with a vengeance and is now in his liver, spine, ribs, pelvis and glands. He was put on a new hormone treatment and we recieved the news today that it’s doing what it should in the Skeletol but not in his liver. It’s aggressive and they have given him months. To say we are devastated is an understatement and we don’t know what to do next. We are back to see consultant next week to get any questions answered but we just feel so upset at the thought of what’s to come. 
if anyone has any advice it would be appreciated 

  • Hello vickit, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum and dad both having cancer at the same time - how difficult it must be for you and the family. I hope that your mum's treatment for thyroid cancer is going well and that she won't have to wait too long for the surgery and it's such a shame that your dad's prostate cancer has come back and that the cancer has now spread. It must be a devastating blow to find out that the cancer is so aggressive and he has been given months. All this happening while your poor mum is also going through treatment must be so hard and exhausting for all of you and it's normal to feel like you don't know what to do next. It's good that you are seeing the consultant next week though and it will be a good opportunity to get any questions answered - it can all be a bit overwhelming when you have the appointment and you can get the feeling that it's all gone a bit too fast so it is a good idea to write any questions down in advance so that you know exactly what you would like to ask. 

    I hope that you will hear from other members of our community who have had a similar experience and that they will be along shortly to share their story with you. Feel free also to call our nurse helpline on this free number 0808 800 4040 if there is anything you would like to ask or discuss whether prior to the appointment or afterwards  - you can get in touch with them Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    Best wishes to you and your parents during this tough time, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi I really feel for you, it's a horrendous situation to be in.

    In 2015 both my parents were diagnosed, mum with bowel cancer and my dad with bladder and kidney cancer.

    My mum survived following chemo, radiotherapy and surgery and is still with us today. My dad on the other hand unfortunately lost his battle on christmas eve 2015.

    All you can do is take every day as it comes. Find someone to talk to even if it just to empty everything your thinking. Don't expect not to be sad, angry, tired and confused.  It's all normal and totally acceptable. Take time for yourself you will need it. 

    Write questions down as they come to you, it's easy to be overwhelmed when youre listening to the Dr's. And if you need to call the team afterwards they are a wealth of information.

    Thinking of you and your family x

  • Alice thank you for your response. We received further news on dad yesterday. They have given him best case scenario 3-6months. Absolutely devastated and completely heartbroken. Just so much going through my mind and also the worry of mum, how will she cope without him and keep the strength to fight her own battle and surgery when that time comes. 
    I have an amazing partner who lost his dad and twin brother to cancer so he gets every emotion I’m going through and has been amazing and I know will continue to be amazing. 

    thinking of you and your mum and hope she is doing well and thank you for responding 

    Vicki xx